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ANARIE Posts: 13,200
4/19/13 9:05 P

You're not paying attention to the responses you're getting. I understand that you're unhappy that your posts get pulled, but when we try to guide you on how to post something that will get you the type of answer you want AND be acceptable under the terms of the site, you just respond, "but my post got pulled!"

Yes, you posted, "What city and state do you live in?" That is not an acceptable thread for the Cafe because it gets a one-word (well, okay, two-word) answer. It also is not a useful thread for YOU, because only a very tiny number of those one-word answers will be in your region, AND because it doesn't tell you whether that very tiny group of people has any interest whatsoever in meeting you.

Most people here have already figured out that if they want to connect with people in their area who might be interested in meeting up, they can go to the appropriate Spark team, which is designed for exactly that, or they can post a specific request with the name of their city and state. They are not going to go looking through a 10,000-post thread titled "What city do you live in," hoping to find ONE person living in the same city who might or might not be interested in meeting.

Yes, some people do want to connect in person. The site has provisions to facilitate that. But a HUGE number of people want their privacy. What you're saying about "Oh, you could find out that someone you know lives in their community!"-- that is an absolute nightmare scenario for an awful lot of people. If you found out where I live from this site and then contacted someone else who lives here and asked them to track me down, I would find that unspeakably creepy, even if you and I were "friends" on the site. That's why the site does NOT encourage people to give out personal info right away.

"I asked the question that I did to see if anyone else was able to figure out that if you knew where they lived, it would expand your ability to get to know each other..."

Yes. People are not stupid. They have figured that out. It's obvious that if you know where someone lives, you have a greater ability to get to know them. But not everyone WANTS you to have that ability. What you call "ability to get to know each other," many people call "stalking." You're not thinking outside the box; you're thinking inside your own corner of the box and not realizing that the box is much bigger than the part you've considered, so that it can fit people with other perspectives.

If you want to meet Spark members off line, you need to ask if anyone wants to meet you. If you just ask where they live and then act on it, they're going to feel like you tricked them and suspect that you might be dangerous.

HEALTHY4UNI SparkPoints: (12,464)
Fitness Minutes: (45)
Posts: 327
4/19/13 7:16 P

I did post "What City and State do you live in?" in the café but it was pulled from the posts and I was told I couldn't post it because it did not insight discussion. I told them that it is similar to a question that two people might ask each other in a real Café to try to develop some common ground on which to base further discussion. They said that it didn't matter what the reason was, it was against the rules and they said that if I wanted to ask that question, to do it in the game room! The rules do not allow for one word response questions and that was what they said that I had done.

So I asked the question that I did to see if anyone else was able to figure out that if you knew where they lived, it would expand your ability to get to know each other and relate to each other the thing that are unique and different where they lived! People could also meet-up for whatever purpose they decided if they lived in the same community. A person might even know someone in the community that a Sparker claims to live in and discover that the person they know, knows the Sparker and that could open up a whole new level to their relationship! But for me to think outside of the box and try to promote a greater sense of community and interaction seems to get lost in the noise of life!

Thanks everyone for commenting on my post. I appreciate your intentions!

If you would like to let us know where you live, fell free to do so and remember that "THIS WAS DONE AS PART OF A DISSCUSSION!"

4/19/13 3:43 P

Pittsburgh, PA aka PENSBURGH!!!!!

ANARIE Posts: 13,200
4/19/13 10:54 A

If what you wanted was to find people near you who want to meet up, then that's what you should have posted. "Where do you live?" is going to get thousands of one-word responses, of which maybe two would be relevant to you. Posting, "Does anyone in Mytown, AZ want to meet up for workouts?" will probably only get you one or two responses, but they'll be useful.

If you're wondering whether a thread is appropriate for the Cafe, ask yourself this: "If I get 10,000 responses, will I read and appreciate and learn from every single one of them?" If all you ask is "Where do you live?" or "Have you tried XYZ?", the answer is pretty sure to be "no."

Also, be sure to look and see whether the question has already been asked. There IS a thread that asks "Where do you live?" It has something like 10,000 responses. If you really want answers to that question, you can read that thread; we don't need a new one!

KKKAREN Posts: 12,754
4/19/13 6:17 A

I occasionally respond to a thread asking me where I live and leave my city as well as state. By doing that I was asked to join a local city group of about 12 people who meet for lunches and exercise, they have formed a team. So far I have not joined them. I choose not to own a car so getting around is a little difficult and frankly I'm a bit leery of meeting people online. They are fun to chat with but I don't know about face to face.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (587,377)
Fitness Minutes: (353,087)
Posts: 16,681
4/19/13 12:10 A

Sometimes it does help cause I can relate more.

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
Posts: 2,545
4/18/13 11:03 P

Nope. I like chatting but I don't need face time. I get enough of that every day.

DANYLEIN SparkPoints: (93,178)
Fitness Minutes: (33,026)
Posts: 359
4/18/13 9:52 P


ETHELMERZ Posts: 20,711
4/18/13 8:58 P

It wouldn't help me, I take care of an ill husband, only have time to go online daily for awhile, not time to go out and meet and greet.

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
4/18/13 8:53 P

I think if one is looking for local face-to-face support, it would be better to look around at various local groups and resources *outside* of Sparkpeople

For online connections with people "from your area" - Sparkteams are the way to go. If you find that the teams specific to your location are not very active, then try going for a team with a broader geographical range (for example, I might choose to join "Calling All Canadians" and that is as specific as I feel like being, with my in-real-life geographical information).

I do not think that a thread with people posting their locations would serve as a very effective method of finding people in your area. You'd end up with dozens of pages of responses, each from a different place. A person would then have to scroll through ALL these pages on the faint hope they might find one or two other respondents indicating "Maryland" or "Quebec" or "New South Wales." And then there's no guarantee they'll be interested in corresponding.... it's very inefficient.

ONLINEASLLOU SparkPoints: (73,365)
Fitness Minutes: (57,011)
Posts: 4,787
4/18/13 8:39 P

Nobody is stopping people from sharing that information if they want to share. For example, you could put it on your Spark Page ... or ask people who are active in the same challenges, teams, or threads, etc.

However, it should not be a requirement to have that information made public. People have a right to privacy. And personally, I am very careful about sharing my identity etc. with strangers on the internet. To be too open about that sort of thing is just not safe. I've met face-to-face with a few people that I have met online, but I have always been very careful about how I do that.

HEALTHY4UNI SparkPoints: (12,464)
Fitness Minutes: (45)
Posts: 327
4/18/13 6:19 P

I tried to post this question: "What City and State do you Live In?" That post was removed and I was told it did not belong in the Café because it was a on word response question! My reason for posting it was so that you or I or any other Sparker could scroll through it and figure out if someone lived in a place that would Spark their interest by learning where they lived! After having that question removed, I felt it wouldn't hurt to see of other Spark People who after considering the question and from their own personal perspectives on whether knowing where someone on Spark People lived, if it would be helpful! So if knowing where they lived, do you think that that might Spark a greater incentive to interact with someone on Spark People regardless of how you found out?

Yes I know about Spark Teams but do you think everyone joins them and monitors them?
I've posted on them and it seems as though the one for my area has very little activity on it!
I also don't believe that there are only 33 people in Tucson that use Spark People!

Yes I know you can find out by asking but I believe that was what I was trying to do!

The question is about whether YOU think that knowing where someone lives could be helpful to YOU! Considering whether it could be helpful to others or determining if there is a way to determine where they live is a different question although your responses to try and help are appreciated, the point of the question is to just share why You think that knowing where someone live could be helpful to YOU!

Edited by: HEALTHY4UNI at: 4/18/2013 (18:29)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
Fitness Minutes: (15,905)
Posts: 9,717
4/18/13 5:53 P

Have you heard of SparkTeams?

There are regional teams for those interested in finding people locally. :)

You'll find them here:

LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (84,445)
Fitness Minutes: (66,284)
Posts: 5,052
4/18/13 5:52 P

Personally, I'd rather keep most of my information private. I don't NEED a bunch of folks pointedly contacting me to do this, do that, join in this, or what do I think of that...!

I believe that is one of the real beauties of Spark People---you are totally free to reach out, "join in", respond to, learn, participate---or NOT---but you are NEVER hounded by anyone at anytime to do any of the above or lectured about how you are succeeding compared to everyone else. It is Totally Within Your Control!!!

SLASALLE SparkPoints: (275,115)
Fitness Minutes: (104,254)
Posts: 11,885
4/18/13 5:17 P

I've met several of my Spark friends, both locally and not local. It's definitely an enriching experience, both ways.

You might check out the teams because I have a team in my town. They do just that - offer group workouts, etc.

Go for it.

DIDS70 Posts: 5,368
4/18/13 5:15 P

I completely agree. on line support is good to a point, but sometimes a person really needs that face to face contact. I would love to know who is in Columbus Ohio.

HEALTHY4UNI SparkPoints: (12,464)
Fitness Minutes: (45)
Posts: 327
4/18/13 3:45 P

I feel that if you find common ground relating to where they live, you can Spark interests that will allow you to get to know someone better! Also, if you knew they lived in your town, you could choose to get together for workouts and fitness events. You could get together to share weight loss experiences like shopping for smaller clothing. Also if they live in a place where you have family, you could find out if they live near or maybe even knew them! For me, it could be helpful!

What do you think?

Edited by: HEALTHY4UNI at: 4/18/2013 (16:52)
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