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SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (253,718)
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Posts: 27,141
8/15/12 6:22 A

I gather that you have previously had some fairly big-deal anger issues with regard to your family. IF you are unable to deal with this using exercise, affirmations, general rationalizations (i.e. "this issue isn't worth wasting my energy in anger" or "maybe it wasn't intended to ....") then please find someone to talk with. It could be a Church Counselor, a friend, or a therapist if there is a lot of baggage from the past to deal with.

As Coach Nancy mentioned, there is in fact very little that we have total control over, so it is a case of letting go of what we can't control. Keeping a journal can and does help with emotions. Sometimes we see a pattern and from that we are able to have some coping mechanisms put into place. Going for a brisk walk can relieve anger and at the same time get some much-needed exercise and fresh air.

I can remember years ago when I first started work, one of my bosses could make me very angry. I was the Office Junior for the first years, and part of the job was doing the dishes (by hand) for 20 or so people after each break. I used to save up the cracked or chipped cups, and when I was real angry with one particular boss, those cups used to fly hard and fast. I had big plastic rubbish bin with a lid - I would hold the lid up with one hand and fair SMASH the cup (one at a time) into the bin. It really relieved my anger and left me feeling good. At the same time it got rid of many health-risk cups and saucers - LOL!

Good luck,

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 8/15/2012 (06:23)
MACKENZIE963 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (545)
Posts: 143
8/14/12 8:56 P

I had a hard day a few days ago... I was very frustrated and angry, and couldn't turn to my usual comfort food.

I went to the gym, did a double work-out, came home, cleaned a bit and meditated in my clean house.

I felt heaps better.

I'm going to try to use the gym from now on to work out my frustrations.

KGWINDER Posts: 1,517
8/14/12 7:01 P

Anger is fear and frustration. Fear is from experiences that caused hurt in the past. The human brain likes to see patterns, so if it looks like a duck it"s going to quack like a duck. Frustration is standing at the brink of the future but not seeing a bridge to get to the other side.

You can't change the past, but you can change the present. To deal with fear is using the rational mind to understand repeating your pattern is living the past. So what behavior can you do to be different in the situation? You can"t change anyone other than yourself. The answer may be even to do nothing. This is like the martial arts dilemma where the best solution is to walk away. You will have to analyze your situation of how you can change what you are doing. As to frustration it is time to get creative and think of new answers - seeking more information, gaining insight, finding things that make you stronger and break it down and making small changes over time. Don't wait to find a bridge, build it.

Anger is a normal emotion. It is in how you handle it that matters. Use exercise like a walk to blow off initial steam. Then putting you brain on how to change yourself in the situation. The positive to focus your energy on, is yourself and your future reaction.

I had this happen to me yesterday - so angry. I spent my morning letting go of being upset with the other party and asked myself what else lead to this happening. What I found surprised me and made a bad situation a learning gift.

The best to you.

FROGGY80916 Posts: 110
8/14/12 6:57 P

I have found exercise to be a great emotional outlet, especially for negative emotions. I have had a roller coaster of family drama, as a kid and teenager, as well as through m 20s I turned to food to deal with the drama and negative emotions. As a mother and wife, I fund myself doing the same thing, using food to heal myself, when all along I was hurting myself.

Recently, I have had a break through of sort whereby I use exercise to deal with negative and positive emotions. I started an extreme workout system, setting boundaries for myself when it comes to food by finding alternative choices for unhealthy craving (MMs are now chocolate almond milk), I also empowered myself by setting boundaries of what drama I will allow to be around me. This has been the hardest lesson, as it pertains to my older children, tough love, and renouncing the guilt I associated by setting these boundaries. The new boundaries protect me, and simultaneously aid my children to become there own person and stand on their own, without mom to the rescue.

Also, I use meditation and breathing to aid stress.

I hope things get things improve for you. The one rule I now have is: Take care of me, and the rest will follow. I have sought outside help as well, by way of friends. Chin up, separate yourself from their drama, and take care of you.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 46,222
8/14/12 6:55 P

Hi Amy,

Journaling can be a very valuable tool in situations where we feel we have very little control because in all reality, there is very little we actually do control. I also find exercise to be a great avenue for dealing with negative is amazing what a quick run can do to turn my life around.

I wish you well!

Coach Nancy

123AMYJM SparkPoints: (13,700)
Fitness Minutes: (9,003)
Posts: 12
8/14/12 5:40 P

Recently, I've had some drama with my family. It has brought a new wave of anger not to mention the rehashing of old negative feelings. How can I deal with these emotions and turn them into something positive?

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