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SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,758)
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Posts: 26,992
12/17/13 9:09 P

I'm really glad that you are continuing as really good friends:-) I am sure that you will have tons of fun together with your road trips and adventures.


CAPTATHLETICA SparkPoints: (3,771)
Fitness Minutes: (6,266)
Posts: 266
12/17/13 6:03 P

Yes, we're still great friends! We're planning road trips and adventures with other buddies for this coming year and it just feels great. I agree, I think her honesty helped for me to get past that final lump instead of waiting for something that will never happen. Well, I should never say never, but at least for now we're going to remain close friends. After that she opened up to me a lot more about personal problems and asked me millions of questions lol so I feel she does respect/trust me and that makes me extremely happy. Thanks for your replies :)

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (198,759)
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Posts: 27,216
12/17/13 11:29 A

Hey, Gabe !

Nah, what you're experiencing is pretty normal. When we're interested in someone, we might feel the reason this person doesn't return our feelings is because of the way we look. It is true that looks are what tend to attract a person first. However, while looks may attract, it's our personality and character that must sustain a relationship.

The important thing is that this woman was honest with you. I think her honesty is what helped you to feel better about the whole situation. Are you still friends with her ? If so, it means she respects you, but isn't interested romantically. Something similar did happen to me several years ago. The man was honest and I did not feel slighted in any way. We've been friends for many years since. Mind you, in that time, he's dated a couple other women.

Do I feel neglected ? Nope. because in all likelihood, I suspect any relationship we would have had would have ended too. So, even though we didn't date, we're still friends.

Dating is never easy. I can't remember who said that dating was a minefield. Well, they weren't kidding !

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (250,758)
Fitness Minutes: (41,464)
Posts: 26,992
12/17/13 12:34 A

Hi Gabe. Low self esteem can certainly change how you see yourself, and is actually a very common problem.

I am glad that you got to talk with the girl about your feelings, because you have proven that communication can remove the shackles.

I hope that you continue on this road of self-discovery, AND your healthy lifestyle :-)

Good luck,
Kris xxx

CAPTATHLETICA SparkPoints: (3,771)
Fitness Minutes: (6,266)
Posts: 266
12/16/13 11:52 P

The past couple of weeks I was dealing with crushing on a girl that didn't feel the same way back. The past few days have been better and tonight at work we were playing around being dumb like we used to before I told her how I felt. As the night went on I finally asked her why she didn't think it would have worked out with us, something I was wanting to ask since a few weeks ago. She told me and suddenly I felt better. Like a weight lifted off my shoulders. The rest of the night went great and it was like how we were friends before.

When I got home I looked in the mirror and it was like I didn't recognize myself. My face looked so much slimmer, defined, I didn't look fat in the mirror like I thought I was either. It's like when I was infatuated with her wanting to like me, I thought I looked terrible, overweight, and just plain ugly. However after I got my answer and felt relieved, I could see my progress in fitness and how toned I have become. Is this weird?

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