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SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
10/19/13 8:00 A

emoticon ANARIE
but if your child is being want them to have a phone to call for help in an emergency.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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10/19/13 7:19 A

emoticon emoticon ANARIE!

Edited by: BLUENOSE63 at: 10/19/2013 (07:19)
LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
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10/19/13 1:13 A

Todays update is the 14 year olds mom has been arrested for child abuse. And the stupid woman posted a video of herself doing the abuse. Small wonder her child is a bully.

Children should not be allowed smart phones or social media accounts until they are 18 and can pay for it. I did not allow my children to have accounts until they turned 18. They turned out to be nice people regardless of their horrible parents!
Using the Internet is fine but there is NO need to connect with others until they are adults. they need to learn how to deal with real people.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/18/13 11:37 P

I totally agree with Archimedes, there's always been bullies but social media takes it to a whole new level and it's not just one kid doing the bullying now it's groups. I applaud this sheriff for making a statement with how he's handling this situation way to many kids are commiting suicide because of bullying, maybe if they realized they were going to do some jail time they'd think twice about pushing the send button.

ANARIE Posts: 13,200
10/18/13 11:12 P

I hate it when people blame the victim, but in this case, the parents of the victim have to be blamed. This was essentially an unsupervised child getting involved in situations far beyond her maturity. It all started two years ago over a boy that both girls had been dating.

Excuse me? DATING? A 10 or 11-year-old child is DATING? Come on. We can argue about whether a freshman in high school is old enough to date, and what nights of the week she can go out, and how late. But this was a FIFTH-GRADER. At the time of the suicide, she was 12. Facebook's policy doesn't allow children under 13 to have an account, so that's another basic fail on the part of the parents. She was upset by what she was getting through text on her phone, and the parents were somewhat aware of that-- so why did she have a text-capable phone? Again, we can argue about whether young children should have phones at all, but if your child is being bullied by phone/text/internet, you take the phone away for the child's own good. You say, "I know you love your phone, but it's harming you. I'm going to take it away, just like I would keep peanut butter away from you if you were allergic to nuts. In a few months, those girls will be picking on someone else and you can have your phone back. You can give your real friends my phone number, and I promise I'll let you talk to them whenever they call. I will also open up this house to your friends and they can come over whenever you want. I will even drive you to go pick them up and take them home." Do all that, and she still might have a tantrum, but inside she will understand that you're protecting her.

As a child, it's just a huge relief to have strict but reasonable parents. I always knew that if someone was pushing me to do something unsafe or just too old for me, I could say, "My parents *always* find out whatever I do, and they will kill me if I do this." My mother even used to tell us, "Blame it on me. Tell your friends what a b**ch I am. They're teenagers and I'm an adult; I don't care if they don't like me."

If you let your 12-year-old little girl run around with no one looking out for her, she could get hurt. She could die. This one did.

MOM2ACAT SparkPoints: (190,535)
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10/18/13 4:21 P

I was bullied, mostly verbally, from grade school all the way through high school. It really leaves a lot of emotional scars. I was very skinny for my age, especially in grade school, and I was called ugly. To this day, I still struggle with self esteem issues when it comes to the way I look; not my weight or my body, but my face. One thing I am proud of though, never, in all those years, did I ever cry in front of the kids who picked on me.

My heart goes out any child or teen who is bullied. When I hear those stories, I feel so much worse for those kids than I ever felt for myself. And it doesn't just happen in the public schools; from kindergarten to 8th grade I attended a Lutheran school, and those were my worst years. And one of the "mean girls" was the pastor's daughter. I am 50 years old, so there was no such thing as the internet or social media when I was growing up, so I think the kids being picked on today have it much worse than I did.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
10/18/13 3:55 P

Restricting access to the internet and not giving kids smartphones and other web-enabled devices, helps prevent THOSE kids from accessing social media...but not all parents are going to comply and kids can text each other from almost any phone these days.

The way to deal with the Bully problem needs to be addressed from both sides...
the helping the victims, as well as, how to handle the bullies.
And bullying doesn't just stop at 18.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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10/18/13 3:39 P

The time to start with kids is when they are little....I have seen 4 year olds being mean to others etc....By the teenage years, it gets pretty tough to correct. I agree with KJ about social hate media causing this as well. All I can say is in my home, from the very early age my son learnt about respect for himself, other children, adults, animals, etc. As he grew I reinforced the respect and tolerated no form of disrespect when it was shown. Yet we gave him the courage to fail and get back up, knowing he had the self confidence and self esteem to get through anything.

Personally as a parent, I found one of the easiest things to ensure you receive respect from all children is NOT to let them call you by your first name. To this day my son calls every adult and I mean every adult with the correct Mr., Mrs. Miss etc. Also he has very limited access to the Computer -- no YouTube, No Facebook, no use of electronics other than for school work from Sunday at 3 p.m. until Friday at 7 p.m. My husband and I stick to this rule.

I would suggest the parents of these children need to go to Parenting classes.

LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/18/13 1:06 P

People, in general, can be horribly mean--kids and adults. The kids get it from their parents in a lot of cases.

Kids don't need to be using computers unless it's for school assignments. They don't need and should not have accounts on Facebook, My Space or any other social media site. They don't need smart phones. They don't need to text. All they really need is a basic cell phone that will call home.

Those girls in FL need to be permanently removed from their parents' care and placed in juvenile hall (or some sort of girls ranch or military school) until they are 18. At that time, they need to get jobs and start paying monthly, lifelong, restitution to the family of that girl who they bullied until she killed herself.

The parents also need to start paying monthly restitution, again lifelong, either to the family of the victim or into some sort of fund that helps others. The parents had a responsibility to monitor their kids, make sure they weren't doing stuff like that and they also had a responsibility to teach them better than to be bullies in the first place. They chose to be parents (no one made them have kids). They then chose not to do their job as parents. They also need to be held accountable.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 10/18/2013 (13:07)
SWEETSUGAR7 Posts: 2,450
10/18/13 12:53 P

Years of having my son walking to and from school everyday. I had to make some changes like having him ride with a friends parents and get dropped off or have more kids walk together.
High school this last year I dropped my son off to school and get picked up by a friend that was already picking her kids up.
Bullying is hard to fathom but as a parent we need to do what we can make changes with the school the times they are alone and could be in unsafe situation.

My son was a victim a year ago by November 2013. He was followed home and assaulted 100 feet from our door and it put him the ER for most of the night. Then a 4 day stay in the hospital. This boy is in juvenile jail for 3 years and a restraining for 10 years.
My son has trouble with sleep and I feel he has trust issues. The best remedy is to make things around him the same and normal as possible. Food, exercise and open communication and bonding with friends and family.
He is taking some online classes through the school so he can graduate. He was supposed to last year but after all of this. We are planning on it this year.

Nothing good comes from being bullied or being the person that is doing it. There is something happening at home or with the child to be this cruel. The parents need to step up on whatever side of the issue is happening and make it right.

What we do reflects on what your child will become when they are adult there self. Also friends or family can be an influence.

I hope we will see justice for these cases and give more information on supporting people that need it.

Edited by: SWEETSUGAR7 at: 10/18/2013 (13:00)
10/18/13 12:44 P

LOL, I meant that talk radio leads to hate speech in the home.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (199,970)
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10/18/13 12:21 P

It's interesting that KJ blames talk radio for the rise in bullying. I think I'm going to have to disagree. I read about that story in the news. My personal opinion is that while bullying has been around for a very long time, I feel that social media has caused bullying to increase exponentially.

If you read the bully cases in the news, you'll notice that most if not all of the cases were caused by bullying on Facebook, Twitter, etc... And it wasn't just one girl or one boy who did the bullying, it was a group of kids.

One way to decrease bullying would be to get kids OFF of Facebook. Don't allow them to have their own FB pages unless those pages are monitored by their parents. It's just scary how many stories I've read of young women (some boys too) who committed suicided because they were taunted on Facebook.

Things that people would never say to a person's face, they feel comfortable saying on Facebook. Worse, Facebook allows a group of people to become bullies. It's the horde mentality. One person would never think of saying something so vile, but get a group of people doing it and it becomes okay. Teens don't think about the consequences of their actions. They just think it's fun and don't understand why people just can't get over themselves.

As far as the teens from Florida ? Sociopaths, but you're not allowed to say that about teens.

10/18/13 11:13 A

By the time I got into high school the guys who bullied me moved to other targets as I was part of the dawn (1979) of what could be now called the "alternative" crowd a.k.a. weird kids who were nerds but kind of dark nerds (I swear the jocks left us alone because we dressed in black all the time).

Funny thing now though, several of those guys who did bully me later (20-30 years later at reunions) talked to me as if none of that ever happened and several are now my facebook friends......and yes, most of them are fat guys with health problems.


MATTHEW0498 SparkPoints: (32,853)
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10/18/13 10:45 A

I saw the story, and it made me sick. Especially seeing that the one girl who did the bullying admitted it on her FB page and said she didn't give a @#@$. My oldest son was bullied for years, still is in some ways. It affects them in so many ways and I have to admit I do worry about him.

Parents need to be aware of what is going on, and be open to punishing their kids when they do wrong. Back when I was kid and when our parents and grandparents were a kid, we were generally afraid of authority. Teachers could (and did) discipline us and so did our parents. I think people are way to easy on their kids these days and it is not helping society.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
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10/18/13 10:08 A

Ditto, KJ.

I may be showing the fact that I'm not a parent in this opinion but I was and still am really annoyed that facebook opened up its membership to the general public and didn't retain it's college students only policy. Yes, I realize it was done for profit purposes but still...

My parents taught me early on (mid-90s) about privacy on the internet and I've followed those same general principles ever since. Any kids of mine will get a similar lecture and also not be allowed FB accounts until college just because what's goes on to the internet, stays on to the internet and they don't need to be jeopardizing their futures with stupid pictures and posts before they're adults anyway.

Just my $0.02.

Bullying will always happen but the home should always be a safe place where kids aren't subjected to it through their computer screens. I was bullied pretty relentlessly in elementary school and the fact that I could go home and not bothered by it further (until the next day anyway) definitely made it bearable.

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (251,822)
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10/18/13 9:58 A

emoticon w/KJ

10/18/13 9:48 A

I blame talk radio for hate speech in the home.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
10/18/13 9:46 A

from Children’s Online Privacy:
A Resource Guide for Parents
"Most children are skilled navigators of the Internet. They are very comfortable using computers and other web-enabled devices. While the Internet offers children tremendous opportunities to explore new ideas, certain aspects of online activity can be harmful to children."
read more

In many are more savvy than their parents with web-enabled devices.
You can Set family rules for online computer use...
but what if they use a web-enabled device?
What's to prevent them from creating an email account and setting up other accounts from there that the parent isn't privy to ?
Are you going to confiscate all web-enabled devices at 'curfew' time?
Do kids practicing 'hate speech' tell their parents what they are doing?

these are difficult things to is definitely a new area to consider.

parents are role models for kids...when they hear 'hate speech' in the home,
they learn those type of behaviors.

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 10/18/2013 (09:49)
OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (251,822)
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10/18/13 9:26 A

kids can be so mean, and adolescent girls seem to be the worst as far as psychological bullying goes.

parents need to pay attention to what's going on with their kids (which is really difficult with all the different social arenas available now). If your kid is mean, you need to do something about it!

sis' oldest was the target of lots of bullying when he was a youngster. He's a 3 month preemie, and that was a major deal when he was born in 1977. He always took up for the other kids who were also targets for the bullies. Sis would never let him sulk in his room - she forced him to talk to her about what was going on. I think if she hadn't, he may have thought very seriously about suicide because I know he had a really tough time.
Now he's married with 2 kids and everybody thinks the world of him. I don't think I've ever heard him say an unkind word about anyone. He also more than made up for being so much smaller than all his classmates - he's 6'6.

10/18/13 9:19 A

RE: my thoughts on bullying
sadly its a way of life but I certainly don't condone bullying and I stop it when I see it or hear of it.
I grew up a wimpy boy who played clarinet in band and let me tell you, I got beat up a LOT! My clarinet had been disassembled and chucked into the street by mean boys with their girlfriends standing behind them laughing. I wouldn't change any of that experience if I could because I am what I am today as a result of ALL of my experiences but again, I would not want anyone to have gone through and I am SURE girls got and get bullied way worse than I ever did.

I agree about zero tolerance for bullying but that said there will have to be strong people willing to have zero tolerance against perhaps their own kid or a kid of their close friends....that's the tough part, dealing with ones own kid when they are the bully.

Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 10/18/2013 (09:47)
LOUIE-LILY Posts: 5,714
10/18/13 9:16 A

I don't think "learning a lesson" for the bully is enough of a punishment. One of these girls said on facebook . . "I know she killed herself and I don't give a _____ " . Parents need to be ever vigilent nowadays or be ready to face the charges also when their children are held responsible. I agree with the comment "Zero Tolerance."
My 26 year old nephew killed himself this year. We don't know if bullying was involved and we'll never know, but it happens to people of all ages these days. Children can be cruel and need to be held responsible for their actions, same as texting and driving.

CPRCINDYC SparkPoints: (10,043)
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10/18/13 9:05 A

A similar thing happened in the county where I live... a girl hung herself because someone was bullying her and she was 13. Very sad. The other students who were the bullies did not get prosecuted, but I hope that they learned a valuable lesson. The school needs to address the issue and parents need to address the issue and teach children to value others and have respect and understanding for people who are different than them. Words can be cruel and children (and adults too for that matter) need to realize that they can have more of an impact than physical harm.

FAITHP44 Posts: 8,745
10/18/13 9:00 A

Very sad, and very difficult to spot unless there's physical bullying going on. Good decision to arrest the girls involved. I'm sure this was never what they intended to happen, and they're probably very scared and upset. Hopefully lessons will be learnt from this not just by these girls but by others as well.
It's scary how Facebook has grown. In UK Facebook bullying has been a source of concern for a long time and a frightening number of teen deaths have been linked to it. It seems to me that responsible parents need to be monitoring their kids facebook pages - the kids would hate that - but how else can they be kept safe?

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
10/17/13 10:06 P

So common when I was a child.

GYMMAN59 SparkPoints: (75,789)
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10/17/13 10:01 P

Zero Tolerance !!!!

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
10/17/13 8:41 P

when it's physical bullying ... it is much easier to spot and correct.
When it's online bullying...or kids texting and sending mean videos to each other
what do you do?
Do you check every kids cell phone ?
Do you check every kids facebook (they may restrict it to friends only)?
Technology has opened a whole new world of problems in the bully arena

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (587,745)
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10/17/13 7:53 P

As a retired 8th grade English teacher, I never looked the other way when I witnessed bullying at my school. I addressed it immediately and got the parents involved as well. We need to make our children accountable for their actions.

Edited by: JANIEWWJD at: 10/17/2013 (19:53)
SHERYLDS Posts: 17,483
10/17/13 7:35 P

People should be responsible for their children and teaching them moral values
I honestly don't know how you prevent kids from saying mean things on the internet.
You can't follow them and watch them 24 hrs a day.
You can't prevent them from taking videos of people.
You can't prevent them from texting each other and saying mean things until after the damage is done..
So there is a big dilemma in how to handle this kind of situation.

On the flip side ... I would hope that parents of a bullied child would be able to communicate with their kids and do what they could to help them through this situation.

10/17/13 7:17 P

I think it is interesting that she admitted to the bullying on her Facebook page but now is claiming innocence.

Two of my boys have been bullied. My now 6th grade son basically had a "lost" 4th grade year due to severe bullying. Luckily, he has moved past it and has caught up academically. Unfortunately, people just look the other way most times when these things happen. Very sad.

ZZYYGGY3 Posts: 2,448
10/17/13 7:00 P

Have you been following the story from Florida about the teen who committed suicyde because of bullying. I know we don't know the full story but now one of the kids who taunted her, and bullied her is denying it.

I know there is much more to this story then is being written, but I just wish people would own up to their crimes, and go on from there. The parents as well should take responsibility for their children. I love the fact that the Sheriff is sticking his neck out, and arresting the two girls.

Any other thoughts.

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