I have to admit that I would be a bit put off by this behavior. It's one thing to have a friend or two over for dinner while you're there, but this sounds a bit extreme. Is it that he drinks a lot and his friends drink with him while family does not? I can understand why you're thinking about cancelling your trip. I think that you would get a lot more feedback on this if you post in the Spark People Cafe (and it would be absolutely fine to post it there)--it seems to be a lot busier there than in this forum. This forum seems very slow with very few people posting or answering posts.
Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 11/20/2013 (10:02)
11/17/13 10:43 P
This has nothing to do with weight loss, but I'm hoping it is okay for me to post this to get some feedback.
My middle brother lives in Colorado, and I live in Minnesota. We typically see each other once a twice a year.
I have booked a trip to go visit him and his wife over Thanksgiving. Before booking the trip, I asked him if it could just be the three of us for my trip, for dinner and the few days after that I'm there. The reason I asked is because everytime I go to visit them, they always invite tons of their friends over. I don't know any of them, nor do I really want to spend time with them, since the point of my trip is to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law.
I've told them before that when I visit them, I want to visit them. I don't want to sit around in a bar with ten of their closest friends drinking. When I talked to them in August before booking my trip, they both agreed that it would just be the three of us for the trip.
A few weeks after booking my flight, my brother told me that his wife has asked one of their friends to come to dinner since he didn't have any family in the state. Since this is the only one of their friends I actually know (we all went to high school together), I said that would be fine. Then about a month ago, my brother asked me if it was alright if that guy picked me up from the airport instead of him. Mostly I think that he just doesn't want to pick me up from the airport, but I said that would be fine so there wasn't any tension.
Tonight I get a text from my sister-in-law telling me that they have invited over two additional friends for dinner, and that we won't be able to follow through with out Thanksgiving night plans because they will be staying all night. When I didn't answer her, she sent me another text saying that she hoped I wasn't mad at them for inviting another couple.
Of course, after telling them many, many, many, many times that I have no interest in hanging out with their boozer friends when I am there, they would know that I am upset that they went ahead and invited additional guests over for dinner. Which makes me think that all of the other activities we have planned over three days will involve those friends, or other friends, as well.
I am ready to cancel my trip. I can get credit for my flight and go somewhere my husband and I want to go (he's not going on this trip because he has to work). Am I over-reacting, or do I have the right to feel hurt?
As a side note, my brother came home last weekend, which was a last minute trip. He invited my dad's extended family to a restaurant for lunch (there were 18 of us), and left us all sitting there for 45 minutes while he went and talked to his friend at the bar, someone who was not invited to lunch, but that he invited to come have a drink with him. So, he made everyone sit and wait for him while he drank and chatted with his friend. He is all about having the attention on him, and clearly has no regard for other people.