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LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (84,433)
Fitness Minutes: (66,284)
Posts: 5,048
6/26/13 9:01 P

DLHM1964....if you want some really positive role model folks to interact with, please get on the Message Board for "Getting Fit Over 50". Look for the thread "150+ pounds to lose and just getting started" These ladies are wonderful-- and I'm sure they well know what you are going through!! Just get on and copy your post to help introduce yourself.....

In the meantime...decide that the first 50 years were given to others...the next 50 are for you!

If you are getting negative feedback, simply keep what you are doing to yourself when interacting with those folks. I know that is *** Really Difficult*** with family, but a quiet resolve will get you through. Don't give up on yourself--you can do this!! And keep reading the articles and message boards on Spark for your inspiration...there is so much support on this site.

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 6/26/2013 (21:04)
STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,376
6/26/13 8:48 P

I'm sorry you're having difficulties. Getting healthy is hard, and it's especially hard when people are tearing you down for trying. Unfortunately, there are always going to be people saying or doing things to upset us. It kind of sounds like you're using the fact that other people make fun of you or bother you as an excuse to stay where you are. It's not about other people. You're getting healthy for YOU. No one else will ever care if you, or me, or anyone else on this site loses weight or not. How many times have you heard "You're fine just the way you are. You don't need to change a thing" from family or close friends who genuinely care about you? To heck with those who are bothering you.

Yesterday I went for a jog out in public for the first time in a very long time (I had access to the school gym, but since I'm on summer vacation, I can't use it) and I had people honking at me, yelling things at me, and this one guy drove past me I kid you not, THREE times! This of course wasn't the first time something like this had happened. What I usually do is get a good pair of headphones and some motivational music. Getting in "the zone" helps me tune out all of the other outside distractions and negativity that I might encounter. I also sometimes wear sunglasses just so I don't seem rude for not making eye contact.

You're definitely not pathetic. I hope you find something that works for you.

DLHM1964 SparkPoints: (1,385)
Fitness Minutes: (20)
Posts: 22
6/26/13 2:06 P

I hate sounding pathetic but this is where I'm at so... all of my life I have been accused of being responsible of everything that goes wrong in the life of anyone that is close to me. It was true with my parents ( my dad being stuck with another kid he didn't want and a mom who drank because she was stuck with him because of me), much older siblings who blamed me because they didn't get what they wanted from our dad, a husband who blamed his PTSD and self-inflicted misery on me (enough to have an affair) and children who to one level or the other have not grown up and blame my parenting skills or lack thereof for their difficulties.
I have ALWAYS put everyone else first. I have always been last. I am almost 50, I have health and physical issues that aren't related to my weight as well as those that are. I am not stupid, I know I look terrible. Between the stress that people pile on me and the emotional eating from the stress I am a size 22/ 237lb woman on a 5'2" frame. I don't expect to look 21 again and I don't expect to be a size 10 again but I want to at least see a 16.
If people would just get off of my back for being heavy and then making fun of me for trying not to be then maybe, just maybe I'd get somewhere. I'm sick of them and I'm sick of me!

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