Are you allowed to get a rice cooker or a small crock pot? Neither of those have exposed heat elements, or maybe they are classified as such.
Perhaps there is an area where you could find power for a waffle iron or electric grill without getting chased off?
So far, I've managed to cook whole-wheat pasta in a rice cooker, but I can't seem to manage a neglected cheese sauce. Maybe it requires Velveeta and stirring. I've also poached eggs over cooked millet, but that requires timing to catch the cooker just as it's ready to switch to warm cycle.
Rice works well in the microwave but takes forever. The last time I did normal pasta in the microwave, it was disgusting.
I never had to suffer under those rules, but I believe that my brother-in-law solved the issue by joining a campus-supported vegetarian food commune. Poor guy.
I don't believe any of this is going to solve your issues of paying for food that you're not eating, unless you can steal raw vegetables from the salad bar and turn them into microwave stew.
If I recall, properly-fried food keeps most of the fat in the crispy coating. The meat should be fine, but it would take a lot of work to get low-fat potato starch.
Perhaps you could start a campus crusade to include stir-fry in the cafeteria. It might just result in a few more ingredients to steal for microwave stew, but it could be a start.