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11/17/10 2:22 P

I will attempt to praise her more.

11/17/10 2:21 P

Thanks for the advice. I am trying to deal with this it is just a constant power struggle.

KIMPOSSIBLE82 Posts: 1,144
11/8/10 6:30 P

17 is a tough age. My poor mother couldn't get through to me for anything. I like the suggestion about praising her after she does it (even if it's not that great). :)

LISSIE88 Posts: 635
11/8/10 11:17 A

Be firm and don't allow her to go out or do anything fun until her chores are done. Make her get a job, too. She is old enough to buy her own things, instead of making you pay for them. Tell her if she doesn't like doing stuff around the house and working, she can leave. After all, its your home and your rules. Its not going to be an easy transition at all. Stick to your guns though because she is going to need to be able to take care of herself in life. She cannot do that by making you pay for everything and do everything for her.

She's at the age where she's not a child anymore, but not mature enough to realize all that you do for her and the toll it takes on you. Teenagers generally think more about their own wants and needs over anyone else's. She needs a wakeup call. The sooner this is done, the better. Tell her how everything she does makes you feel.

If she refuses to listen, put her in counseling.

I hope it works out for you.

11/7/10 11:45 P


11/7/10 11:44 P


11/7/10 11:44 P


11/7/10 11:43 P


SHAESHISHA SparkPoints: (0)
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11/7/10 12:09 P

I remember when I was 17, I really didn't give a care in the world about anything. I think that is just the attitude of a lot of teens nowadays.

My parents used sort of reverse psychology on me. Whenever I was finally asked and forced to do something like chores, they would always praise me at the end, saying things like "good job, you did excellent on the kitchen counters today" or "you did it better than I could ever have, thank you so much for your hard work" I know it sounds cheesy and totally opposite from originally forcing me to do something, but there was something about it that worked for me, and when you praise somebody more than argue it makes the situation a lot less complicated. Try it out!

11/6/10 7:01 P

Teenage daughters are the worst! It's natures way of separating them a little so they actually grow up and move out one day. But don't put up with disrespect! Stay strong and enforce whatever rules are important to you. As the old saying goes, It's your house, your rules! I wish you all the luck in the world. Can you tell I'm going through a similar thing?


RENA1965 Posts: 17,878
11/6/10 2:40 P

My oldest son is 17½ and has never asked for much.. I have tried to keep interested in what he is doing- listen to him when he has/had problems and encouraged him to go to meetings with social services and found even a boarding school to him..
Boarding school was the best experience ever- he saw others eating decent food- it was not cool getting a efter sitting for being a picky eater and not allowed to go to the shops with the other teenagers..
He now earns a small sum of money going to a production school- we had a set back he got turned down for a grant to go to 3d school but he will get there..
I am not on his case about sleeping for ages as he has ADHD/Asperges so has a very high stress level.. I try to take up stuff we have to discuss when he is feeling okay and not grumpy..
I also allow his friends to turn up and chill with him over their computers.. Some of his friends would trade their own mothers for me..
I heard them say- hey Rik you mom understands your alternative lifestyle- wish my old lady did lol..
I ask when he is coming home- and keep in contact by telephone.. I don't pry into his life and if stuff weights his mind I am always there..
The lifted finger never achieves anything- I had to accept my sons learning difficulties.. He is good at computers and will get a job some day- I encourage him to do stuff he is good at..

It has been hard getting into his life- he was a real dads boy.. He has been with drawn since his dad passed away..
dad was a home going dad- due to diabetes type 1.. It has taken alot of time for my son to warm up to me, I was going to language school and holding a job down..

Edited by: RENA1965 at: 11/6/2010 (14:45)
NORDAKOTA Posts: 696
11/6/10 8:07 A

Personally, I would not give her any money until she completed her chores... for starters. Good luck. I am not looking forward to the teen years!

11/5/10 2:40 P

I am tired of the constant arguing and bickering between myself and my daughter. I never thought we would end up like this. I honestly can't wait until she moves out. She is 17 and is not interested in getting her education, working, or doing anything to better herself but is always looking for me to finance her wants and needs. She does not want to help around the house and when she does she never completes the task. I ave to threaten to put her out to get her to dry the dishes and put them in the cabinet. Im tired of her disrupting my entire household. I love her but I dislike her actions!!

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