I agree that sometimes we can be paranoid, but then other times our gut feelings are right! So I say we have to have trust in our marriage, but at the same time their has to be a balance! We can't over do it with our emotions! I think as females we do this often more then men. I have figured out what triggers mine and have learned to deal with it! I wish everyone the best that is going through this situation! Pray to God because he can always work it out for the best!
Fitness Minutes: (1,140)
7/17/11 11:33 P
Sometimes things in our past intrude on the present; I was cheated on terribly twice a long time ago and now, with my hubby, I am 99% sure he would never cheat on me and even would tell me if he was tempted. Still, it took me a long time to trust him just based on my past. He would tell me constantly: "I'm not those other guys and you shouldn't treat me as if I were". He was right, I definitely had some esteem issues and trust issues with any guys in my life.
I was in therapy for other issues, but one thing my therapist did with me was CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), it helped tremendously. It helps you understand that the way you think/your thoughts, impact your feelings and behaviors. Once I was able to put everything in perspective, gain some esteem, realize I was being irrationally paranoid, did things get better. Today, the thought of my hubs cheating is laughable, but back then, I was certain he was and he wasn't. So don't always listen to your mind, it can definitely play tricks on you.
Good luck to you!
Fitness Minutes: (180)
517 7/15/11 5:50 P
If there is even a question than that right there is a problem. You shouldn't even have to THINK about is stuff. I urge you to try counseling, either he is cheating or you have trust issues. Good luck sweetie, I pray that you will value yourself and realize you deserve love and respect, even from yourself.
Sometimes, when our self esteem isn't where is should be, it is easy to think that maybe our mate is seeking out attention from someone else. Honestly, take a good look in the mirror, are you worries warranted (really seriously justifible). Or are you a litte taken back that another women (regardless of the situation) has entered the pic. It took me some therapy to realize that because of my upbringing and state of mind now, put me in a similiar boat. Before accusing your husband be sure, BE REALLY SURE, of the accusation. It can cause a lot of strain on your relationship if not.
Fitness Minutes: (7,303)
545 7/14/11 11:58 A
If he goes to her for emotional support rather than you, and spends more time talking to her than he does you, or puts you on the back burner for her then he is cheating emotionally whether or not he is sleeping with her. It depends on the context of their relationship, and your definition of cheating.
I have no idea how you tell. Does he seem to be lying or sneaking around? Or is this woman just around every now and again? Honestly, if it's making you feel bad, you need to talk to your husband about your feelings. Good luck.
Instead of eating nasty food, try to find him with the woman to take nasty photographs. If he IS cheating, you'll have solid proof for divorce court and take all his money. If he's NOT cheating, at least you got a bunch of exercise tracking him down!
Don't take this too seriously. I'm trying to cheer you up more than anything else.
How can you really tell? Everytime the "friend" or "other woman" pops into the picture I get really down and eat terribly. I become instantly depressed and have a hard time being happy for my daughter or for me for that matter. Either I'm way too sensitive and jealous or my worst fears are reality. Either way - The ups and downs have certainly impacted my self-esteem and feelings of self-worth and ultimately my weight and the image that I project to the world.