Thanks, ladies. I'll definitely have to try the write 5 things project and check out the May gratitudes board!
Yes, I have been to therapy and you nailed it....she said I have BMDD. Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by skinny people? I know it's much deeper than that though, and you're right, I still was pretty negative about myself even when I was at my goal weight during my wedding / honeymoon this past Sept, although I DO prefer looking at those photos instead of current ones, lol. I stopped going because I didn't have insurance when our company closed, but my current company has great insurance now and I think I might call to make an appointment today. It can't hurt! My poor husband has to listen to the negative self talk every day so I figure it's high time he deserves a break.
Thanks again for listening and your advice, Laura
Fitness Minutes: (2,093)
381 5/22/13 10:04 P
Laura, Have you talked to a therapist about this before? If you're seeing "fat and chunk", you may have something called body dysmorphic disorder, Hun. You look pretty healthy and I don't really think losing 10-15lbs is going to magically make that "fat and chunk" you see, disappear.
Fitness Minutes: (218,270)
22,841 5/22/13 9:39 P
Maybe more of us are a little psycho some of the time then we may even realize. I checked out your SparkPage and you are absolutely beautiful. When I have felt obsessed with whatever, I utilize positive affirmations to counter/replace any negative self-talk. I also think of this healthy lifestyle journey as one of empowerment and mindful self-mastery. This helps move me toward healthy choices over less healthy choices. Each choice is an opportunity to make progress in the direction you want to go. One step at a time. One of the most transforming practices I started back in 1999 is to begin each day by writing 5 things that are working in my life. When you commit to this Daily Gratitude practice you find yourself looking for appreciations and again replace the negative (obsessions) with the positive. There is a MAY gratitude thread on this forum and you are most welcome to join us.
5/22/13 8:52 P
I know I have major body issues. However, lately it's all I can think about. I obsess over my eating plan and will stick to it for 3 days perfectly and then have an off night (tonight, for instance, when I went out for dinner with my mom) and get super (duper) depressed and just dwell on it and how fat I'm getting. My husband can tell me 1,000 times how beautiful I am but all I see is chunk and lack of control. I hate this cycle. I seriously do NOT know what to do next. Background: in 2007 I got up to 180. I joined Weight Watchers and managed to get down to and stick to 138 forEVER and finally 133 (at my lowest, for my wedding this past Sept). Now I'm in the 140's and feel like I'm spinning out of control. This is consuming way too much of my brainspace. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Help...