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MLS616 Posts: 157
2/16/13 10:14 A

It's really hard when we're starving. I know that feeling.

A trick you can try is this: tell yourself that you'll eat the healthy thing first, sit for 20 mins and then after that, you'll eat your food. When I am starving just before lunch, I force myself to eat a big apple. Then I eat my lunch but I'm usually not as hungry as I was.
Be very aware of what you are eating, eat slow and try to become aware when you are full.
Regardless it's not easy and I agree with other posters that you shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself and have an all or nothing mentality.
Do some small healthy exchanges and see how it goes.


BEANBYDESIGN SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,021
2/16/13 10:03 A

You are turning this into an all-or-nothing proposition - either you're 100% perfect and healthy, or you don't give a cr@p and just eat whatever you want. As someone who has struggled with that kind of black-and-white thinking myself, you NEED to accept that this journey is NOT all-or-nothing. As another poster said, if all you do today is have 8 glasses of water, that's healthier for you than the alternative. If you get one thing right, that's better than nothing. If you get 2 things right, that's better than 1. It's not a matter of healthy vs. unhealthy - it's about becoming HEALTHIER, which is an incremental thing, not an on/off switch.

So, here's how you start - pick one or two things, manageable things, and focus on getting just those two things done every day for a month. By the end of the month, those two things will have become habits, and won't take so much effort anymore, so then you can add one or two more things. Will this be a much slower process than it would be if you were able to magically be "perfect" everyday? Of course it will. But trying to be "perfect" has been getting you nowhere at all. Learn to let go of perfect - I doubt you expect your daughter or your husband to be perfect, so why put that burden on yourself?

FIONNA39 SparkPoints: (2,067)
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Posts: 144
2/16/13 8:01 A

Dont forget it takes over 6 weeks for a behaviour to become a habit. So each small change you make takes mental exercise to do it until it becomes a habit. You need mental stimulation, reminders and games to establish each new habit. It gets easier after the first try or two, its almost surprising after a couple of days how the 'effort' needed to do something gets easier, then you add one more thing.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (201,433)
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Posts: 27,440
2/16/13 6:49 A


I give all new members one piece of advice when they feel they don't have any motivation and it's this,"Don't look at good health with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Spark People encourages its members to start with simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you WILL end up frustrated. NO ONE ever became a healthy eater overnight. it's impossible. that's why you start with some simple goals.

Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you're not exercising, don't try to exercise for an hour a day. Set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. it's not "all or nothing". It starts with one small change because one small change CAN change your life !

So, no more beatings. the beatings have to stop. If you want to learn to be healthy, you start by setting some reasonable goals for yourself. Stop setting yourself up for failure. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.

Now, let me ask you, what simple goals would you like to set for yourself for this week ? Once you've decided what you'd like to achieve, you're on your way to a healthier lifestyle. NO MORE DIETS !!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (257,187)
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2/16/13 12:24 A

Hi - I think that you are putting too much pressure on yourself, too! First of all, you say
" ....going to go on a diet and stick with it and become healthy. It has yet to happen. "

The thing is, this isn't a diet - it is a healthy lifestyle. Diets deprive and restrict and often are very boring. SP isn't about that. It is about a healthy balance - portion control, wise choice of food MOST of the time, good hydration, exercise (without going overboard), eating all your meals (not skipping) and NOT under-eating - you have a range which is generally best for you. Deprivation and/or boredom are one of the main reasons why people fall off the wagon, and believe me when I say MOST of us do! But what makes the difference between someone who succeeds in reaching their goals and someone who gives up, is that the person who succeeds, climbs back up however many times it takes to reach their goal!

Just start this journey with baby steps, changing only one or two things to start with, and ONLY when your mind/body is used to those changes, add something else to the mix.

You mention having oatmeal for breakfast, but then by lunchtime being hungry and eating quickly. There are a couple possibilities here. One is that you didn't eat enough for breakfast - did you have a piece of fruit with it, and protein? The other is that you missed your queue re hunger and should have had a snack earlier - perhaps a few nuts and piece of fruit, or some yoghurt, or hard boiled egg! I ALWAYS have to have snacks between meals, and they are incorporated into my daily routine. It really DOES help to stop the munchies and poorer choices when we end up starving!

Good luck,

KAR815 Posts: 268
2/15/13 10:33 P

I read your blog and I understand your feelings Ive been there myself. I think your being too hard on yourself , putting too much pressure , my best advice is set small goals, and stick to it ex. 1st goal - drink water today at least 6-8 glasses each day ( helpful) to track it. 2nd goal - Im going to walk 15-20 mins at a good pace today, go outside take a walk then add alittle more time after 1 week. You'll be surprised how much you can do. Goal 3- focus on eating healthy (portions sizes) getting veggies in, fruits and protien. Hopefully you can use at least 1 thing to start off. or add your own? I hope this was helpful? I made some small changes in 6 weeks Im starting to see results. If I can help cheer you on let me know? Im happy to help. I think you need some positive reinforcements YOU CAN DO IT believe in yourself.... small steps the fact that your on this site is the first step.

NEWRUNNER2 Posts: 542
2/15/13 10:24 P


First of all, emoticon ! Don't focus on where you went wrong today. Learn from it and move forward.

Second, (maybe this should have been first) I'm no expert. I lack motivation sometimes, too. I make bad choices and then feel like throwing in the towel.

Start small. Make it a habit. Then add more. Taking on too much at once can get a bit overwhelming. Set achievable goals and then celebrate every small success.

I just spent some time reading SparkPeople's Motivational quotes article:

I picked some out and printed them off. They'll be waiting in the kitchen for me tomorrow morning.

Each day is a new day to get it right.

Keep sharing with us and reaching out with specific needs and questions. We're behind you all the way!


GIGGLEBOX0321 SparkPoints: (664)
Fitness Minutes: (101)
Posts: 6
2/15/13 9:35 P

I told myself about.... 30 times in the past 2 months i was going to go on a diet and stick with it and become healthy. It has yet to happen.
I have always had days when I have said " I HAVE to do this " but yesterday I went to dinner and I was uncomfortable sitting in a booth. I had very little room to move and my belly practically touched the table. It was embarrassing. That night I had my daughter take a before picture of me to start my journey.
This morning I got up had my oatmeal and started my day at work.... I was motivated to eat healthy. By lunch I was hungry and ate quickly...... adding 900 calories to my day. Of course after a lunch like that why even try for dinner?? So I didn't. I have no idea how many calories I ate for dinner.
As my night progressed I started to feel bad. I took my shower and now am on here because a look in the mirror made me horrified of what I actually look like. I then picked up my camera I used last night and realized my daughter had taken some pictures of me today that i was unaware of. There was no posing or smiling.. just me standing there looking like i do when everyone else sees me. I was disgusted.
I have a problem. I am obese. I am unhealthy. I have a 5 yr old little girl and a husband that needs me....
I understand all of this!?!?!
What do I have to do to keep the same motivation at night that I have in the morning?

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