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10/14/10 2:21 P

14th of October

Time spent reflecting last night.

One of the happiest time is my life is when I gave into my desire to go to college. Mid 30's and somewhat unsure of myself. Life had been fine...but going to school was scary.

I ended up loving it. Falling in love with the thinking, the passion of professors. During that period of time I took to swimming. Every morning at least a mile. I was in good shape and thinned down.

I found the one sport I like, swimming.

How I shifted away from that? Moving to a new city's. Entering the research higher academic world. Fatigue...and the banger...THE BRAIN TUMOR.

Okay so swimming is hard now. I'm 100% out of shape. My brain is not quite right, there are side effects.

I have to get it back though...I HAVE TO.


1) Go daily if possible.
2) Go SLOW...if the hand gets tingly and numb, STOP. Try to resist how good it feels to be in the water, understand that you are still healing and if you push too hard time off will be needed and re-starting again will be hard again!

Okay that all for now.

starter: coffee & juice
breakfast: egg/ham/cheese sandwich
lunch: Greek yogurt w/ honey
dinner: BBQ chicken, spicy green beans, potato salad (made w/ light mayo)
Yes, I had dessert. emoticon

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/15/2010 (03:10)
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10/13/10 5:48 P

The 13th

Rather than sinking back into OLD habits as I recover from having company I got my bum up today, got in the car, when to the gym, put on the swim suit, sat in the jacuzzi then got my bum into the pool and swam!

Take that old habits.

I LOVE to swim. I LOVE feeling good about how I eat. I LOVE changing...moving forward in my life. So you old habit have to kiss my ass goodbye.

As playful as the entry is, I have had a hard time getting back to my no-nos. Having company was a good mirror for the image others expect of me.

I am expected to enjoy eating and drinking, to celebrate with family and friends. I'm expected to be relaxed about all of this stuff. So as I dig into myself exploring my true wants and desires, to fulfill my own dreams...I also have to figure how to coddle old friendships with giving them the Michelle from 10 years ago.

In 2000 I started making some big changes in my life. I quit bar tending and managing jazz clubs. I quit smoking. I got a job that had nothing to do with that environment, then another job that allowed me to go to college. I loved it, got the AA...then the BA. Move out of the state to do research, got into a PhD program. Decided a masters might be a better fit...(brain tumor interrupts) I'm about to walk with my masters.

I'm not the grab me and lets go out and have fun gal anymore. I'm a psychotherapist. A freaking psychotherapist.

Do not get me wrong I enjoy a drink, I love cooking a great dinner...but that is not my life anymore.

I want to be healthy...mentally and physically. I'm recovering from a brain surgery. I want to feel good, move well, to have a healthy image that I would enjoy living with the rest of my life.

I'm moving back home in a few months. I worry that many of my friends will expect the "older" version of me. Much like my visiting relative just did.

I have to decide how I will handle this.

Anyhow, for today:

morning: coffee, juice, scrambled egg/ham/cheese w/ roll


afternoon: Tuna sandwich w/ tomato, lettuce, avocado

dinner: (don't tell) brownie w/ ice cream

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10/11/10 11:58 A

Monday and back at it!

I need to plan a few things to do this week, the old schedule is too light.

now: coffee and juice

I'm going to make banana bread or zucchini bread.

Okay, nothing planned out...I'll report later.

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10/10/10 12:57 P

October 10th

Yesterday went well, even keeled. I'll get back to tracking today...I missed the last few days of the week.

Not much happening today - almost humdrum after running company around all week. I'm in-between chapters for the the thesis.

ho-hum today:

now: apple juice & coffee w/ internet time

later: Greek yogurt, banana, toast

mid-day:? (leftovers)

dinner: stuffed zucchini (Italian sausage, mushrooms, tomato tompping) w/ a side of pasta.

dessert: homemade ice cream

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10/9/10 3:04 P

October 9th

The company is gone!!!

Meaning I can run back to my routine. The last few days...not so hot...I mean great tourist stuff, but poor food. In a rather odd way my guest is in a mini way a control freak. Her desires were met. Her tourist desires, her drink desires, her TV mom and self really bowed to hosts.

If we took a move towards our own desire...she was disgruntle...a lack of interest, calling friends, smoking her cigs on the patio.

Don't get me too wrong. I love this relative. I did enjoy spending time with her...however I caved and lived a role that she desires.

I wonder if my friends will have a role they want me to play when I move back home?

I hope not because I have changed. Not just my desire to loose weight, but my goals and desires for life have shifted. I think differently than I did 10 years ago, in the past five years I am becoming a professional that I WANT TO BE. is the weekend, so I can wean back to my preferred healthy habits.

today: coffee and juice
eggs and toast (no breakfast all week)
pork chop w/ spicy green beans and rice
I think there will be ice cream.

Not given up my own weekend.

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10/7/10 11:39 A

Fisherman's Wharf today.
Two more days of company.
Feeling tired and sort of crappy.

juice and coffee now
eating at another family favorite today for lunch...not sure what I'll get.
no clue what will happen for dinner.

I'm verging on the sad side - hopefully today will go smoothly.

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10/6/10 2:49 P

Oie. Family sabotage. emoticon Keep on doing your best, and don't beat yourself up. Try not to let the fam get to you! I know it can be hard. Just because they're on vacation and feel like that's a good excuse to eat 3000+ calories a day doesn't mean you have to.

I have some dread about the upcoming holidays myself.

Be strong! emoticon

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10/6/10 1:01 P

October 6th

Thing are not going as well as I'd fault.

I was actually given grief for not wanting to drink and was given the "I'm on vacation..." line. I am such a twit - I've been drinking.

Food has also been heavy...though I am ordering fish while out, and skipping the appetizer slash pot roast gig...salami, cheese, breads are expected nightly. I have a cheese problem. An up note - I added tomato sliced, carrot sticks and zucchini to the line up and portions about half of what is normal.

I also have kept the drinks to a limit, and have tea while out...rather than splitting a bottle of wine.

All in all this is going to be a huge wash-out week. Those 5 pounds will come back on and I'll have to start all the swearword over. Pickles.

The biggest bugger...if I can not manage company for a week, what the hell will I do through the holidays.

I need help.

The upside: I do love the company, and the trips to Sausalito and Cannery Row have been fun.


now: coffee & juice

later: a meal out at Joe's (a family favorite)fish & chips

night: school night for me so I'll get away from the nightly splurge. School cancelled!!! No clue what will happen food wise.

I did not track yesterday...and I am not sure about today.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/6/2010 (18:00)
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10/4/10 1:56 P

Oct 4th:

No booze
No seconds
No dessert

Company here, going out for a meal...I'll go fish.

mahi mahi w/ crab & brie w/ veggies...I skipped the noodles..started with clam chowder

crackers and cheese for dinner

the 5th:

clam choweder followed by a crab cakes sandwich w/ fries

bread, cheese, salami & veggies for dinner

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/6/2010 (17:59)
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10/4/10 1:02 A

End of the day. Tummy too full. Looking forward to be normal tomorrow.

Hey I'm already thinking it is normal!!!

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10/3/10 1:23 P

Gads the 3rd of October

Last night was a lot of fun, though Tylenol and pints of water were needed throughout the night.

I'm starving and patently waiting for my relatives to get around to breakfast. I'd should have toast and a banana and let do their own thing.

I'll have to take that stance tomorrow.

Yesterday did not turn out too bad, figuring 2000ish calorie-ish.

Anyhow, today's plan:

Picking up Boudin's and Italian raviolis from a local shop the visiting relative loves.

Now: juice & coffee (10:21 good gawd)
Breakfast: raisin toast, a SMALL amount of egg & sausage.
Happy Hour: I'm guessing cheese, salami, bread
Dinner: Ravioli, red sauce & salad.

That's that.

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10/2/10 4:41 P

I agree...not happening though. I wanted simple wants to make the corn pudding.

I have taken over the enchilada' extra lean beef, small tortilla's and such...and I just made HUGE batch of pico de gallo...I'll have a pile of it on my plate for veggie....

My relatives sort of have a hard time with veggies...ooops there here -


Later update: things went average attempt at tracking put me around 2000 may be more or less.

I'm full...but not too belly hurty.

I'm not going to have a problem weaning back to what I am now comfortable with tomorrow...really.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/2/2010 (23:59)
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10/2/10 3:03 P

good luck today 3rdtimesacharm, for me I would have to have add salad

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10/2/10 11:55 A

emoticon October 2nd

Company is coming in today.

I've been very happy with how I feel. I have not missed drinking, seconds or dessert and I know it is going to be a little tricky.

Mom and Cousin will be here. Drinking and eating are normal at "family functions".

I'll relax this weekend. There will be heavier food and drink.


Goal 2: Come Monday return to what you are very much liking - the 3 nos - NO DRINK, DESSERT, OR SECONDS M-F (Period).

now: juice & coffee
afternoon: drinks, guacamole & chips
dinner: enchilada's and corn pudding
dessert: eclair

Everything will be homemade, even the tortilla chips, guacamole & salsa. So no preservatives or fake crap.

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10/2/10 11:33 A

5 pounds down from last weigh in!

Happiness flows. I want to be under 250 next time I step on that bugger!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/2/2010 (11:57)
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10/1/10 12:27 P

Friday, the 1st of October. Golly time flies by.

I stood in front of the scale this morning , I was afraid of getting on it and decided on tomorrow.

I went over calories yesterday. I wasn't the cook and the cook used bread crumbs and a lot of oil. I also made apple sauce...anyway not over by much. 50-100 calories.

Company arrives tomorrow, a week long stay. This will be test. I'll not worry over the weekend but will this new "normal" behavior march on despite family visits? Gads I hope so.

now: juice and coffee
Mopped the floor, cleaned the shower, and vacuumed!

lunch: Moroccan Chicken leftovers - so good.
dinner:cheeseburger & cream of broccoli soup

Coming in under calorie intake today...not intended, but making up for running a nit over yesterday.

Cheers, to the scale tomorrow morning!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/1/2010 (22:45)
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9/30/10 2:59 P

The 30th of September.

I got up, showered, and took the walk I've been talking about all week!

I have to say what use to be a very normal walk was longer and actually heated my body up...another sign that I am out of shape...however I took the walk!

Family is going to visit this weekend, for a week, so I need to finish this chapter TODAY. Then clean and shop for company tomorrow.

I'm feeling great, no urges, no weakness. I feel like I'm doing what "I" really want!

I'll hop on the scale tomorrow and see if there has been change.

For today:

Starter: a two mile walk
morning food: coffee, juice, banana bread
lunch: saltines & tuna
dinner: pork chop, carrots (from the yard), homemade apple sauce and rice.

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9/29/10 1:06 P

Sept 29th...gads the time flies by!

So I've been here about 20 days and a week ago today something really sunk in for me.

I keep expecting this new feel to fade away. I keep thinking that maybe the insight I've had will flicker. That my feeling that this is the LAST time might be false.

As of today though, all is good. I'm still feeling very certain, very much like I have found myself. I'm not "missing" anything.

So three weeks in, two of struggling and self assessment and one of - alright - this is me.

Now the me needs to get to the pool that I know I love! Soon, soon.

I think that today will be the last day writing this chapter, only editing left to do...and I've done that for the 1st half.

Tired of toast so I made banana bread this morning, in the oven now. I also entered the recipe into the recipe builder/calorie figuring I can track it. Figuring portion...nuts.

now: coffee
soon: banana bread


Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/29/2010 (13:06)
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9/28/10 12:54 P

Good morning Tuesday.

Brother did I have the worst nights sleep last night. No mind, nights over...move on.

I'm aiming to finish up the chapter I'm working on today, AND I must take that walk that I did not go on yesterday!

I'm feeling great about the eating. It really is like a card turned. Last night after dinner I was a normal full. My room mate went ahead and had dessert. Pie and ice cream. I had no inclination. None.

So the nos are suiting me well. My whys are firm. The aspect that has not picked up yet is the movement. I had a goal to get to the pool by tomorrow. Unless I get up first thing in the morning tomorrow...that will not happen. I have not even got my bum out for a walk.

No frets. One step at a time. Having no drinks, desserts, and seconds is an enormous start for me step ant a time!

starter: coffee
morning meal: banana & toast
afternoon meal: tuna mix on crackers
evening meal: pork, red pepper, onion, Havarti on a roll sandwich.

Alright, get to work.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/28/2010 (15:48)
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9/27/10 12:59 P

Sept 27th.

Good golly I slept in. I have today and tomorrow left to head over to the YMCA pool...and I'm rather scrubby this morning, so it'll be tomorrow. Sort of a shame it is a good looking sunny day - pool would be good. I will take a walk today.

Juice and coffee taking place, a shower to spiff me up, then back to writing and an late afternoon walk. I also need to buckle the calories up today for the week long go.

starter: juice & coffee
mid-morning: toast & banana
afternoon: tuna sandwich
dinner: Moroccan chicken

Movement: I'll take a nice walk.
Weight: I'll get on the scale at the end of the week.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/28/2010 (12:55)
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9/27/10 2:45 A

I actually stayed on track today!

A day of the ability to drink (I skipped it) and a day of desserts...I kept the bugger small. In calorie limits!

Alright I surprised myself.

Back to the Nos tomorrow.

No dessert
No seconds
No booze
Monday through Friday

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9/26/10 11:57 A

Sept 26th.

I'm not sure I need all that wiggle room I allowed. It seemed that I needed to give myself that out, that you are allowed dessert on the weekend! However, while I loved dinner, the dessert was too much and the drinks seemed like a waste of time.

I pushed my shrinking tummies limit and rolled around in bed uncomfortably. So that is that.

I can have a drink and dessert on weekends, but listen to the may not really want it. A good deal of that is in your head and the body disagrees.

Today: back to the paper. I'll be cooking Moroccan it will be loaded with veggies. I need to walk to the store, a mile away, so an okay walk.

morning: juice & coffee
early meal: whole wheat bagel w/ light cream cheese
lunch meal: sm ice cream (homemade)
dinner meal: Moroccan chicken w/ rice
dessert: mini slice of pie and mini scoop of ice cream.
I'll fill in all the dots later. Please, please, let the writing bug bite me today!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/27/2010 (02:47)
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9/25/10 1:23 P

Good morning!

It is the "weekend". Warning. I am entering into this as a life change and there is no way I'll go forever without a dessert or cocktail. So...I am allowed dessert and drink on the weekend.

I do not want to go so CRAZY that it blows the whole week this is a balancing act that I have to learn. MODERATION!

My new found self is still feeling strong.

Today's plan: I have to write today, and do a little cleaning. It's ten so I am already procrastinating.

starter: coffee and juice
mid-morning snack: mini french toast
cocktail: whiskey
dinner: beef stroganoff - Mom's plan, I am going to make the noodles by hand though!
dessert: homemade apple pie w/ homemade ice cream.

I figure if I am going to allow the treats in, they must be homemade. No artificial crap allowed in the body. I'll aim at fruit and veggies earlier in the day before Mom shows up.

Later if anyone is peeking in. Cracking myself up.

Busted over 2000 calories...belly very full. The dessert was too much...and I did not care for it.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/26/2010 (02:48)
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9/24/10 12:27 P

emoticon Sept 24th.

Bright and sunny morning here, fall means the fog goes away.

I'm feeling great, the feeling of the real, authentic self, is still in me. I feel strong. So good.

I need to write some letters this morning. I'm moving this winter and am starting the job hunt...aiming to make connections here. Then I'll shop this afternoon.

This weekend will all be about writing. I am in the most difficult part of my thesis, once I get through this chapter the sailing should be smooth-ville.

juice and coffee now...

I think the no's are going to work very well for me. (no seconds, no dessert, no drinks m-f)

Rocking it today!

Meal out: Veggie soup w/ 1/2 turkey sandwich!
Dinner: leftovers from last night...low end of the spectrum, yikes!

I do get dessert tomorrow!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/24/2010 (22:18)
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9/23/10 12:14 P

Thank you very much for the hug!

I have to say I feel a million percent this morning. Emotionally well centered, 100% sure of what I'm doing...dang I feel good. I ought put some music on.

Sun, music, that would be fun, hopefully this feeling and mood will invade my writing today. I'd love to get a nice chunk of work done.

I watched a seminar tape last night in my seminar class...good stuff about the research of naturopathic medicine. I'll do a little research, but I'm thinking I might pick up some ginseng.

Juice and coffee now, I'll track me eating through the day.

l: poached eggs on toast
s: sm pbj
d: spicy green beans, stir fried pork/red pepper/ zucchini on rice

editing, editing, editing...the paper will be ready to move on to the next section and what's written is done!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/23/2010 (16:24)
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9/22/10 4:59 P

I don't know what inspired me to click on your post, but I did. I just read all the posts, and all I want to do is send you this:


You. Can. Do. It.

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9/22/10 4:20 P

Sept 22nd

Following up on my earlier post, I am feeling fantastic today!

I feel whole, and I feel like I understand myself better. A few days of deep thinking seem to have helped. So I'm back on track...and ya know what?

I don't think I'm going to fall again.

I really do feel whole. Very cool.

Today's eats: (yes, I track but like to log daily too)

B: juice, coffee, toast
L: sandwich (2oz of leftover meatloaf from last night)
D: salad (avocado, tomato, beats, spinach, dressing) bread 1 slice

No drinks
No dessert
No extras

smiling broadly.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/23/2010 (02:01)
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9/22/10 12:30 P

I found myself.

17 months ago I had a HUGE tumor removed from my brain.

This is silly, but my brother broke my computer while in the hospital.

Yesterday he helped me down load the information off the hard drive from that old computer, via the phone -good brother.

Last night I'm looking at paperwork...gads a document I was keeping tracking headaches and sickness...for MONTHS! A journal I have not written since surgery, and a lot of pictures.

I start cruising the photo's. Pictures of me 1 year before surgery...a little rolly, but looking pretty good. Pictures a few months before surgery. You can tell I had been swimming.

I've lost a year and a half. Not lost all together. I am ALIVE. This is good. Recovery has been a bitch, long hard, slow...steroids, pain. Rather sucky.

In the suckiness...I lost myself. I lost perk. I lost it is okay to be happy or sad. I lost that living is oh so important.

I've been living. Finishing my masters degree, working at a practicum. I have also cut myself off from the world. I did some of that before surgery. Sadness and anger...all tumor related.

Anyhow, last night I found myself. A spark of me in pictures. A strength in surviving.

This is hard, but not hard enough to outdo me.

I am back and I'm not running away.

I also have mandates to follow this week:

1) No desserts M-F.
2) No booze M-F.
3) Track food daily, everything!
4) Get to the pool within the week.

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9/21/10 11:42 A

I crapped out yesterday...and I'm not going to try and fix it - add up or what not. Moving forward hoping I can pull my crap together and accomplish goals.

This is a choice I'm making. I want this. I've been thinking about the best moments in my life and have to admit that they are moments with family and friends, eating, drinking and enjoying each other's company.

I "reward" myself with food and drink. It makes me feel at home. I need to figure out other things I like, outside of family,friends,food and drink and I know a few.

I love swimming.
I love art.
I love the work that I am going into.
I love cooking -hmmm...
I love photography...that is taking pictures
I love traveling

Can morph my food into healthy eats, can I omit drinking 6 nights a week, can I do more of the the I love to fill the space I make happy with food?

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9/20/10 12:10 P

Good morning the 20th...I need coffee.

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9/19/10 12:59 P

Sept 19th.

Good day so far, showered, chatted with brother am sitting at desk ready to write. I've though about all the things I have loved the most in life, and the dreams that I have. I'll give it one more day and write about it. Feeling full and bloated going to bed doesn't fit in so....

Okay off to write.

Morning: juice, coffee, whole grain toast w/butter
Lunch: a small salami/light cheese sandwich.
snack: crackers w. peanut butter
dinner: spaghetti, mostly mushrooms w/ bread

Writing going alright.


Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/20/2010 (12:09)
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9/19/10 12:55 P

Sept 18th

B: banana
L: saltines w/ a dab of peanut butter & honey.
D: pork loin BBQ, baked rice dish and peas after whiskey.

I hit 1987 in calories last night...would have been fine without the booze. And I felt to full and bloated going to bed...yuck-o-la

WI: 257

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/2/2010 (11:38)
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9/18/10 5:44 P

I might change the topic title now listed, having just read Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning I'm thinking that "My Will" is a better for now.

My will for meaning in my life. The ability to act by choice.

What do I love about my life? What has made me the happiest? What dreams would I love to fulfill?

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9/17/10 8:36 P

Sept 16th.

I finally got some writing done today for my thesis. I'll be on a tight schedule this week to stay in my time frame.

Other than that I'm flopping about 11 days in a pretty much feel that I'm failing, big time.

I'm not going way though. I'll keep tracking and I think that I'll take the next couple days concentrating on the whys. Influence from reading Frankl right now I guess.

The answer to success might not be in the how we do but the why we do it. So why do I want to do this, beyond getting thin?

I do some deep thinking and write a bit about it and post it once done.

Till then, a day or two, I will track for practice seeing what I eat and not worry about the rest. Rather than taking the all or nothing I started with...which is not working!

B: grilled egg sandwich w/ tomato & cheese
L: saltines w/ a dab of peanut butter & honey.
D: pork loin BBQ(baked with tomato paste/onion/ketchup/brown sugar/beer/lemon) I'm thinking rice and spinach to go with it.

I'll have a couple of drinks too. Don't worry about the drinking. I had a gathering last week and there is booze leftover, I on my own this week with not much on my I'm indulging. Not typical behavior.

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9/17/10 1:49 P

Sigh. The scale indicates that I am not doing well at this.

WI: 256

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 10/2/2010 (11:36)
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9/16/10 12:45 P

I was going to bellyache about how I am doing, but screw that...I'm moving forward shoving fears to the side.

B: toast w/ peanut butter, banana, and a smidgen of honey and coffee
L: chicken thigh
emoticon I feel a drink coming on.

That turned out to be 3 drinks...I need to get over the vacation mode.

D:grilled tomato/cheese sandwich w/ soup

Dessert: chocolate milk

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/17/2010 (13:47)
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9/15/10 12:46 P

Sept 15th:

Breakfast: OJ, Coffee, toast w/peanut butter
Lunch: Moroccan chicken leftovers
Dinner: cream of mushroom soup and hamburger
Snack: kozy shack
Calories: 1801-2000
Exercise: zip
Weight: 251

Not a great day...thoughts of slimfast running through my mind. What mindless thing must I do to loose weight? What is my problem?!

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/16/2010 (03:24)
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9/15/10 12:45 P

I sort of thought that I bit it yesterday. I failed at 3 meals and had martini's for lunch. The good I stayed within calorie range.

Today I'll am for:

1) 3 meals!!!
2) No booze!!!

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9/14/10 1:05 P

Sept 14th: Eating three meals!

Breakfast: OJ, Coffee w/ cream, toast w/ butter
Lunch: martini's
Dinner: Moroccan chicken on rice
Snack: Kozy shack
Calories: 1493
Exercise: an hour walk to store
Weight: 251

Plan: I don't do breakfast so I need to add a couple things I might follow through with. I do toast...I'll pick up peanut butter a smear of that would add protein and some calories. I also like poached eggs, so I'll grab eggs.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/15/2010 (12:43)
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9/14/10 12:59 P

Failure, failure, failure. I blew it yesterday.

I MUST EAT THREE MEALS A DAY. I have a tendency to skip breakfast...keeping it to juice and coffee, doing small lunches...then eat a ton in the evening. Last night it went all wrong.

So the goal for the day. EAT THREE FREAKING MEALS!

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9/13/10 2:36 P

Sept 13th

The first time entertaining in a long while, and it went well!I admit, my back is sore today. 2 days of cleaning and a day of preparing and cooking all the food and running guest around the house for show and tell. Good grief, I'm doing nothing today!

Well, okay I'll clean up what is left...most of it done last night.

The Moroccan Chicken...DELISIOUS. I'll be making this again very soon! Easy to make too.

I used the recipe page today, to figure yesterday calories. The recipes went well all low cal. My add though...who knows. I drank. There were other treats. I did my best and came up to 1795. I could be over that...maybe under. Being that I was on my feet all day, working, working, working...literally from 10 to 10.

I moved to the second stage today. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

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9/12/10 11:56 A

September 12th

Big day for me, I'm having company!

I know that should not be odd, in fact I use to be the go-to girl, dinner parties, cocktail gigs were all up my alley.

In 2005 I moved away to do research and apply to graduate programs. I recoiled. I have not gone out or had company over. I do link it to the brain tumor and recover the last year and a half.

I am ready though and today is the mark. 12 - 14 people will be showing up at my place. Yikes.

I'll create recipes of what I'm making and take photo's so I can figure out calories.

Breakfast: OJ & coffee...toast later.

The makings for tonight:

Puu puu's: veggies wraps, bruschetta, fried ravioli
Dinner: Moroccan chicken, spicy green beans (rice and salad are being brought by others)

This is a cocktail gig, Brazilian limeade and liquor will be involved...but I'll be good.


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9/11/10 9:32 P

It been a good day, keeping the self busy running errands, cleaning the house and planning for tomorrow. One of my guest showed up early by a day. I'm all grunged out cleaning. Nuts-o.

Breakfast: oj w/ pills
Lunch: multi grain toast w/ butter
Dinner: Pizza sandwich (kaiser roll, chicken breast, onion, pizza sauce and baby bell cheese)
Snack: Limeade w/ vodka
Calories: 1547
Exercise: 60 minutes of cleaning
Weight: 251

5 falling down...3 pounds gone!

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9/11/10 11:44 A

emoticon Down 3 pounds!!!! emoticon

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9/10/10 1:31 P

Sept 10th: Day 5

Breakfast: oj w/ pills
Lunch: Quaker crunchy corn bran cereal w/ milk
Dinner: Stuffed spud (mushroom, chicken, onion, zucchini, light sour cream)
Snack: 2oz tequila, a baby bell light cheese round
Calories: 1219
Exercise: 2+ hours of house cleaning
Weight: 254lb


Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/11/2010 (00:25)
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9/10/10 1:29 P

emoticon Buggers I blew it last night.

I sat it out for a good while, but caved in. 4 shots of tequila, a can of refried beans made into dip w/ cheese and home made tortilla chips...fried.

calories came in around at 1999ish...which might be under.

Anyhow lesson learned. I was feeling pretty good, then last night I was rolling around with a full belly in total discomfort, thirsty, belly-achy. Good grief.

Today, back to it...and very much in the mood to plan "lighter" treats for Sundays get together.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/10/2010 (13:32)
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9/9/10 11:50 A

Sept 9th

Good morning day four. Waking up here with juice in tote. What to do today. My roommate is actually leaving for a couple of weeks so I get the house to myself, and oddly I'm worries about splurging. Drinking and a big, messy dinner celebrating independence. That's not going to work for the "new lifestyle" I'm aiming for so modification needed.

I need to clean the house for company I am having over on Sunday, and figure out what I'll provide for the gathering. I need to start the next chapter for my thesis. And I ought to walk. Yes. I ought to get my bum our for a walk. Legs are still sore from the squats...which I'll continue today.

I do want a hearty meal tonight...maybe a veggie/chicken stuffed baked potato. I'll figure it out later.

I'm skipping the scale this morning, every day weigh-ins do not make me happy so I'll try stepping on the scale every few day. I do feel like I need the BAM reminder of those numbers to keep me going. Maybe once into this I can wean down to once a week.

I enjoyed class last night, and feel very good about what I wrote. There is a group of 6 of us graduating in winter. I have to say one of the students perhaps should not be there yet. Of course that is not my gig so....

Alright planning out the day:

Breakfast: OJ & w/ cream
Lunch: raisin toast w/ 2 poached eggs
Dinner: Baked potato stuffed w/ chicken, mushrooms, zucchini, onion, light sour cream & spices
Calories: @964 w/ this plan so far...
Weight: 254lb

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/9/2010 (14:51)
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9/8/10 1:01 P

Sept 8th : The third day

My thighs are sore from trying the squats yesterday...20 of the 100. Hmmm, I might be out of shape.

Food went well though I did change things last night. I had 2 glasses of wine and took off the soup. The calories came very close. Drinking the wine kept me for drinking water.

My weight is up again today 254. I'll change my start weight. 2 days in a row I guess I need to give up those 2 pounds.

I'm not as hungry this morning as I was yesterday, having my OJ now...with the morning pills.

I was a no pill person before. While overweight my body was functioning fine. I put on more extra weight on steroids post surgery. (brain tumor) About 10 pounds a month. Once off the steroids my body did not work right. It been a year and half, things are getting better. I am on heart medication now, diuretic, potassium supplement...then the regular vitamins I'm now taking. Then the pain killers.

Why am I bringing this up? I guess that I need to. I'd like to get to a point where pill taking is not needed. (aside from the multi) Anyway, OJ and pills.

I'll spend the next hour dinking around on line, planning food for the day and such. Then I'll get busy with work. I have class tonight.

Breakfast: OJ & pills, banana, raisin toast w/ butter
Lunch: tuna sandwich w/ soup (multi grain & light soup!)
Dinner: Another tuna sandwich
Snack: kozy shack
Calories: 1532
Exercise: 10 minute chair stuff
Weight: 254lb

* The soup was bland...I added a tbls of parmesan and pinch of salt & pepper...much better. Only added 23 calories.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/9/2010 (11:51)
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9/7/10 1:12 P

Sept 7th

Day two begins. I'm hungry. The scale weighed me in higher than yesterday. I'm not changing my weight. I'm still thrilled about starting over, so that is good. I'm a bit worried about the day. I'll be shopping with Mom...this means a meal two.

The upside is that I'll be shopping too. I'll upgrade my food selection. I'm worried about the meal out though. ho-hum we will see how it goes.

B: OJ & pills, raisin bread w/ butter, 1c cantaloupe
L: Veggie soup & salad
D: Grilled chicken sandwich w/ pizza sauce and baby bell cheese...served with soup
S: Kozy Shack ~ chocolate hazel nut pudding
C: 1413
E: walking while shopping
W: 252 - regardless of scales 2nd day statement!

I'll fill everything in as the day goes. Hungry girl signing out. I should eat. I'm worried about eating out...I'll have toast and cantaloupe.

Goals for the day: to track food and stay in range and to shop for good, healthy, eats.

I did well eating out!!! Looked at the calorie menu, enjoyed the food. I also picked a few things at the store to head the right direction.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 9/7/2010 (21:54)
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9/6/10 1:22 P

Day 1

I got on the scale this morning. 252...sulking follows.

Day 1 goal: Tracking food intake

B: OJ & pills, coffee w/ cream, banana
L: Raisin bread w/ 1 tbsp butter
D: Tuna sandwich w/ cheese, tomato soup
S: Cantaloupe
C: 1487
E: short walk, 10 minutes

Other than that I'll be editing a paper due later this week.

Edited by: 3RDTIMEISACHARM at: 12/10/2010 (11:57)
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