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JMANDA86 SparkPoints: (3,842)
Fitness Minutes: (3,356)
Posts: 110
8/31/12 1:03 P

I lost 40 pounds in a month and a half two years ago when I found out my bf of 7 years was cheating on me...along with drugs, porn, huge amounts of debt...every vice in the book. While this was extremely unhealthy (and I'm here because I'm back up to the weight I was at before!) my new found 'freedom' turned me into a gym junkie for a while. I was in the best shape of my life. The gym was the only place where I felt in control, away from him (his new of the two girls he cheated on me with was harassing me if I saw her anywhere) and in my own bubble. I would blast my music and just go to work. After a few months, I got out of my own zone and really enjoyed going to the gym because I met tons of people.

Even if it's not the gym, find something to do for you, around people. It will help!

LORELLELAURA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (10,228)
Posts: 352
8/29/12 8:34 A

Sorry you're going through a rough time. I agree with everyone here. If you ever feel like you're going to fall off the wagon, picture yourself at your goal weight looking amazing with your ex feeling sorry to have lost such a bombshell!

NONA-UK Posts: 245
8/29/12 8:05 A

Hi, thanks for the messages of support.

I suppose there is a silver lining to this cloud; I've been eating more healthily as while I don't really want to eat, it's just as easy/hard to sit and eat something healthy as unhealthy. It's also a way of trying to care for myself in a hard time.

So I've been losing weight at pretty much the right amount according to my target and graph, I'll try to keep it up and have a nice new slimmer me to go with the new life I'm now planning out.

FAYVMIRACLE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (415)
Posts: 59
8/20/12 2:35 A


8/16/12 5:08 P

I'm glad things are looking a little better for you.

Just remember "Living well is the BEST revenge." ;)

KNIBARG SparkPoints: (14,083)
Fitness Minutes: (13,637)
Posts: 246
8/16/12 9:44 A

Good job on starting to make the right choices again. You will have good and bad days. But, maybe you can take that hurt and anger and put it into exercise? Also, are you seeing a counselor? I don't know your thoughts about that, but it may help you sort through your emotions so that you can regain a healthy relationship with food and youself and move past this terrible event in your life.

NONA-UK Posts: 245
8/16/12 9:21 A

Thanks for the advice and support :-) I think I was having a really hard day then.

I've tried to knock the drink on the head pretty much now, after feeling very embarrassed the mornings after a couple of 'texting while drunk' incidents. It just makes me more upset/maudlin to drink too much, so I'm trying not to drink alone now and have limited myself to one glass when I'm with friends.

Things have got a little bit better, it's still not easy, but we've had a couple of talks and cleared the air a bit and while I'm still just keeping to my own little room in the house, at least at work I can now be around him without wanting to cry/bash him one. I am being careful about money/house/business. Big decision for me as to whether I wish to stay in business or not, one I'm not going to rush, he wants me to stay on but we'll see.

Foodwise, it's so weird as I am right off chocolate and that is my biggest vice. I would regularly eat a 400g bar in an evening. I had a small bit the other day and it made me feel sick.I keep feeling sick when I eat, that's why I suppose I'm trying to tempt myself into eating with junk, but I've tried to have jacket potatoes/fish/veg/salad instead now. If I don't really want to eat I suppose it shouldn't be too hard to make the right choices.

I know it's funny on here to be saying 'I don't want to eat', ...

KANACHII Posts: 24
8/14/12 4:49 P

Gosh, what a terrible situation. I am really sorry that you are having to deal with this.

As others have said, get the drinking in check before you even begin to worry about other things. Alcohol leads to many poor decisions, not just meal-wise.

Deal with your affairs first and foremost. Don't let yourself sink into depression and make poor choices. Keep your communication lines open with friends and family - it's easy to become shut off and depressed.

Try to make good choices with "comfort" or "tempting" foods. Instead of ice cream, have frozen yogurt. Instead of candy bars, have a piece of dark chocolate. Instead of hard liquor or beer, have one glass of wine. Fruit can also help curb your sweet-tooth too.

I know when I have the blues I don't feel much like cooking. You might want to get some frozen vegetables that you can microwave and make a meal of those. You can also try making wraps (a wrap, 2-3 slices of sandwich meat, as much lettuce as you can stand, and a serving of Rondel cheese).

Best of luck with everything.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (199,863)
Fitness Minutes: (298,728)
Posts: 27,303
8/14/12 12:10 P


I am so sorry to hear this ! No one would fault you for turning to comfort food at a time like this. But, LOVEXAVIE is right. Drowning in your sorrows in the food and drink will just leave your head reeling. You need to think clearly now. Also, the lousy food combined with the excess stress is breaking down your body. Do your best to try to eat as healthfully as possible. I know it's not easy, you do the best you can.

Right now, you've got to pull yourself together to the best of your ability. This was NOT your fault. He might say it was, but this was all about him and the other woman.

Do you have a lawyer ? If not, get a lawyer ASAP. Do you have documentation of his cheating ? If so, print up any emails you have and present them to the lawyer. You've got to protect yourself and any interests you have in that business. I know you're in shock, but you've got to talk to a lawyer to find out what your options are.

Do you have a bank account of your own or do you share one ? You might want to take out your share of the money and create your own account. Don't let him take advantage of you.
Is the house in your joint names ? Personally, I say kick him to the curb. Let HIM sleep in the spare room.

You're hurt. We do understand, but you have to take care of yourself. That means trying to eat right. trying to avoid any alcohol and getting a lawyer.

Take care of yourself !!


LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,867)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,450
8/14/12 11:43 A

Oh Nona, I'm so sorry you are having to deal w/ this!

I'd suggest:
1) get a handle on the drinking. excessive drinking leads to poor choices (food & otherwise), empty calories & does not help you foster a feeling of control.
2) increase your water & veggies. The more the better. They will help you feel better & function at a higher capacity.
3) make sure you are getting enough rest
4) make sure you can "get away" for you-time; be it a walk, a work-out at the gym, going to a church service, anything.

If you do these four things, you will be better able to keep your wits about you - which you need! You undoubtedly have some decisions you w/ have to make...stack the odds in your favor.

Your goal is mainly to get through this now & treat yourself kindly.

Good luck!


NONA-UK Posts: 245
8/14/12 10:14 A


I've been on the heartbreak diet. 3 weeks ago I found out my OH of 10 years has been having an affair and is leaving me. I am stuck living in the spare bedroom. We also run a business together so I'm stuck with him at work. As you can imagine, it's been a hard time, and I lost my appetite.

But now it's back with a vengeance. I suppose in a way I still don't really want to eat but tell myself I must, go get stuff I know is going to 'tempt' my appetite. So not healthy food when I do eat.

I'm also drinking too much.

I don't need to add to my troubles by getting unhealthier and fatter.


Edited by: NONA-UK at: 8/14/2012 (10:15)
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