Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
PATTOMMC3 SparkPoints: (778)
Fitness Minutes: (16,290)
Posts: 1,999
4/21/12 10:48 P

You poor kid! First off, nobody should ever speak to you that way most of all your husband! Next, please see your doctor and have him hook you up with a dietician. A good dietician can help you with your special diet needs. Hold strong for those children of your. You are a worthy beautiful person and stronger than you think!

FITBODME SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (5,994)
Posts: 132
4/21/12 4:28 P

I've been where you are not alone. It took awhile for me to realize he was verbally abusing me, and I was better off without him than with him. (there were other issues too)
Your husband is supposed to be on your side, if he's not HE'S THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!! Repeat this to yourself every time he makes a rude comment, it does help.
Now dry those tears and reach your goals!! emoticon

GUCCI9300 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (12,143)
Posts: 2,304
4/21/12 2:13 P

Not to be rude but your husband is a jerk! You can do this - don't ever let anyone tell you what YOUR body is capable of. Slow and steady wins the race! :-)

P.S. - Since I am sure your husband is NOT George Clooney (we all know he's not married) tell him to take a look in the mirror if he wants to start point out some flaws!! ;)

4/19/12 4:00 P

I have been hypothyroid for 18 years. You CAN lose weight but it will be slower than regular person. I have been working out like a fiend and watching what I eat and it took me a year to lose 30 pounds and I still have more to go.

Now, I am assuming you are on medication (ie synthroid). If not, you should be, People who are hypo have slower metabolisms, so make sure you add strength training along with cardio. It will do wonders. No fancy equipment needed, old fashioned modified pushups, crunches, lunges and squats will do. Maybe get some light handwieghts, 3 pounds. Build up those muscles will really rev up your metabolism.

Hypo's metabolize sugar badly, I would stay away from it as much as possible. Stick to complex whole grains, veggies, lean protein and fruits. If you start getting really hungry eat protein snacks (ie tuna and celery). Often if feels my stomach is trying to eat itself otherwise.

I can't comment on the husband issue. I never had this problem because he does not have a mean bone in his body. I would suggest marital counselling, to get over your communication problems.

LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
4/16/12 4:12 P

I agree you should seek some counseling with or without him. I find the things he said to you unforgivable but maybe you can find help through counseling. I also agree this is not just a lack of support- it is abusive. You should not put up with that kind of treatment. Good luck to you and big hugs.

CHERRY666 Posts: 601
4/16/12 3:32 P


You can do it! You should be so proud of yourself for exercising five times a week. It's not easy to do, so you should celebrate your success! I'm sorry your hard work isn't being reflected in your weight, but you're still doing a lot of good for yourself. It will happen. "Trust the process."

Have you told your husband is comments are hurting you? That sounds horrible. I can't imagine how stressed you must be. Sometimes my boyfriend makes comments that are hurtful, but doesn't even realize it. Perhaps letting him know he's hurting you will make a difference. Getting some counseling doesn't sound like a bad idea, though. For yourself or for your marriage.

Just to emphasis this again, though, you really SHOULD be proud of yourself for working so hard -- exercising, eating balanced meals, raising two kids. *hug*

KSM0408 Posts: 691
4/16/12 3:22 P

I am so sorry you are going through this at home. Keep working out and lose the weight for you. Don't continue to take this emotional abuse. Has this been his behavior your whole marriage or is something else causing this behavior? I hope that things get better for you with him, but don't lose your focus on what is the most important thing and that is you. HUGS!

SHERLYNNESGMA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (30)
Posts: 2
4/16/12 11:45 A

I know its hard to fight the woeght battle alone, and sometimes what I think my husband is saying is different then what he is really saying or what I am hearing. Does that sound strange? He will say something, and now I will say, "you know when you just said that, I thought I heard........" then he knows what I am thinking. Usually this will help both of us to understand our communicaton problems. Also over the years I have had to grow a thicker skin. No one held me down and put food in my mouth, and I have used 1000's of excuses not to exercise or eat right. Now I have only myself to hold accountable, I am starting my life changes for me and no one else. Try your best to use a mantra in your head, sometimes I say over and over I LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY and most of the time I will start to feel stronger. Just keep walking the walk, try not to over think every little comment any one else makes, think of your goals and they will come to pass. Love you, and I have faith in you.

BETHARDS SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (9,210)
Posts: 189
4/16/12 1:00 A

I feel sorry for what you are having to put up with. Someone who loves you would never tell you that your ugly. Someone who loves you would help and support you in your goals because they should love to see you succeed. Someone that spends that much time being verbally abusive to you has his own issues. I hope things get better for you.

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,867)
Fitness Minutes: (48,271)
Posts: 2,450
4/13/12 3:18 P

Can you do this? Absolutely!
Will it be tough? At times, but what worthwhile isn't? AND, from what you describe, it's already tough living w/ your hubby regardless.

So, might as well be getting healthy while it's tough as opposed to having it tough and staying (or becoming more so) unhealthy.

If you can have a sit down heart-to-heart w/ him, great. But after that, water off a ducks back, baby! Do your best to tap into your inner strength and let his comments roll off of you. You have everything you need within you and couple that w/ Spark and you'll be unstoppable.

As others have mentioned, there's a world of support here. That support has made a world of difference to me and I credit it w/ a big chunk of why I've been able to succeed (that and eating a gazillion veggies). It's true that 80% of weight loss is about what food you eat. Don't think you can out exercise a bad diet (you can't). Once I got that and really ramped up the veggie consumption, the weight started falling off.

Since you're around so much negativity, be sure you read the Woo-hoo section of the msg boards. This will get you hopeful and fired up to expect good!

Do. Not. Give. Up.


You can DO THIS! Hang in there!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 2,185
4/13/12 2:27 P

All couples go through things in their relationship. Some trials or issues are longer-standing then others. And sometimes they feel like they are.

Add to that a medical problem, stress, and fatigue and it exascerbates what is or seems like an unending situation.

Since this is only one side of the conversation, talk to your husband. Put the kids to bed and make him sit down and talk.

Keep going on your exercise and remember food intake is 80% of weight loss. Unfortunately its tough with small children, unless you involve them, like walking with a stroller.

NAYPOOIE Posts: 11,926
4/13/12 1:51 P

Online Now  • ))
definitely see a doctor and get the proper meds going. There's no reason to struggle along without it.

Your husband clearly refuses to face facts, so why take him any more seriously than you would any other willfully ignorant person? If some stranger walked up to you in the street and expressed such opinions, I would hope you'd just slough it off as unworthy of attention. I know you have expectations of your husband (and you have a right to expect support), but clearly he's not going to do it, so ignore his remarks. He can't or won't be that for you, so quit expecting it and it won't hurt so much.

ADUDZI Posts: 170
4/13/12 1:39 P

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} emoticon emoticon Stay strong and keep the goal in focus, you CAN DO IT!!!!!!

SANDRA1982 Posts: 209
4/13/12 10:47 A

I'm sorry that your husband is being ugly to you... but that is emotional abuse as someone else mentioned... you need to stand up for yourself and lose the weight for you not for him... you are a beautiful person and if your husband tells you that you are ugly he needs to look in the mirror. Being and ugly person on the inside is far worse than being a little on the heavy side. Talk to your doctor about weight loss...I have a friend who had problems with her T too and it caused her to gain a lot of weight which was very hard to take off... You may also want to include your husband in that doctors visit and ask the doctor to explain to him why it's hard for you to lose weight. That may help get him off his high horse.

JENMC14 Posts: 2,786
4/13/12 9:24 A

Have you talked to your doc about supporting your weight loss/ Are you on meds to control your thyroid.

Beyond that, this is not about an unsupportive husband. An unsupportive husband would be one who doesn't step up and watch the kids so you can work out or who brings you treats. What you're describing is emotional abuse, pure and simple. I would strongly urge you to consider getting yourself some counselling. I would also sit down for a long heart to heart with your husband and tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you are doing your best, and that his comments are cruel and hurtful. marriage counselling would probably be a good idea as well.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this crap. Weight loss, especially when one has medical issues, can be excrutiatingly slow when one is trying to do it in a healthy, reasonable manner. Hang in there, you can do it!

STORMCAT78 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,460)
Posts: 26
4/12/12 11:50 P

It is no fun when you don't get any support! I'm being checked to see if I am hypothyroid as well and I have been reading up on it. It is not easy to lose weight with this condition but it is not impossible. I don't know what your test results were or if you are on medication but you should have a doctor to moniter you. Especially with medication! As for support, be your own if you have to. You are doing this for you and that is all that matters! There is a Thyroid Community Sparkteam you should look into and join, there's alot of support there! They have info on supplements and meds that can be very helpful to you! I have always fought my weight and almost no one I know understands my struggles. So I have a saying I tell myself if I am thinking about giving up and weighing 200 pounds again. 'NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER!'

4/12/12 11:45 P

You poor thing :( Regardless of what your husband says, you should be proud that you're taking care of yourself! -HUG-

Ignore him. If he says such cruel things to you, enough to make you cry while exercising, and he isn't willing to see the truth, then his opinion has no value or merit. Tell him that when he says those things to you, it hurts you and you didn't ask for abuse.

GRACEMCC45 Posts: 1,134
4/12/12 7:52 P


My heart is breaking for you. Although I can't give you any advice in terms of how to handle the lack of support at home - I have no experience there - what I can tell you is this:

You will find mountains upon mountains of support here on Spark. You did an emoticon thing turning here for support instead of falling back onto old habits. Keep turning here, and we will keep supporting you!

All the best, you fantastic momma!

BIGBONED8 SparkPoints: (2,094)
Fitness Minutes: (2,378)
Posts: 26
4/12/12 7:18 P

You can do this, you are not alone.

4/12/12 6:53 P

Ive been working hard, exercising, eating a well bbalanced healthy meals, but i suffer from hypothyroidism and its just been nearly impossible to get the wwight off. Im trying to lose 31 lbs that i put on because of my exxagerated thyroid symptoms in a period of less than 1 year.

My problem now is that the most important person in my life, my husband, does not support me at all in my goals. It makes me feel like i will never be able to get rid of this added weight. He works all day and im a stay at home mom with 2 toddlers. I came to a point a few months ago that i felt trapped. I couldnt find the time to excersize, i felt horrible and my hubby would always comment on how fat ive become, and how ugly i became. I was hopeless. And then i realized i have a thyroid issue to top it all off.

I finally bought ana elliptiical machine, work out 5 times a week for 30-45min, still eat very healthy, but my hubbye still down talks me, swears i dont even use the machine and refuses to believe i dont eat junk, dont overeat and so on. Thank the lord my elliptical keeps a workout log, but he refuses to see it.

I just feel like im not good enough and the weight is coming. Off so slowly that im beginning to lose hope.

Im writing this while on the elliptical, with tears streAmingdown my face.

If u think you could be there for me, please do friend me here. I feel so alone and cant seem to shake it off

Page: 1 of (1)  

Other Panic! Button for Immediate Help Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
Husband is derailing diet. 8/6/2015 10:59:43 AM
Thank you all 5/22/2016 3:13:32 PM
Help!! 12/10/2016 11:19:32 AM
Need support 4/21/2015 5:11:27 AM
Idk what to do... 3/3/2016 10:34:03 AM