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SMILES4383 Posts: 16,130
12/2/12 3:07 P

Talk it over with your fiance.

I had a critical MIL....she ruined our marriage.
After 18 years -- I gave him back.

Had I discussed his mother's rude behavior before the wedding I would have known his response. If he had been as reluctant to stick up for me before the wedding as he was after...
I would have broken the engagement and kept looking.

Family dynamics are tough to change.

Good Luck to you ~

ADDIERN80 Posts: 110
11/26/12 3:35 A

I would have a face to face talk with her about it. Let her know how you feel and ask her if she doesn't like you or if you've done something to offend her. You might not like the answers or you might not get any answers at all, but either way, YOU have done the adult thing and she should respect you for that.
It may very well be that she doesn't know how to show affection, or that her "nagging" is her only way or showing that she has concern for you.
Either way, you won't know till you ask.
Remember that you two have a common ground. You both love your fiance. Remember that she had a hand in raising him to be the man you love. Build from there...

AACELESTIN SparkPoints: (6,622)
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Posts: 54
10/10/12 12:06 P

I can't say enough how awesome my future mother in law is. She is super supportive, always willing to lend a helping hand, and has become a second mother to me. I value her opinion as she does mine, and we are getting along great. When I'm sick she makes me chicken soup, or she stops by my apt just to make sure I'm ok. I've heard horror stories about mother in laws ( and even experienced once a mother who hated my guts) but I definitely got a blessing this time around with a fiancé who loves me, and a future mother in law who rocks!

10/4/12 11:51 A

"Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm taking her only son (only child as well) away to be a husband instead of her little boy."

i would start with changing this mindset. you aren't taking anything from her. he will always be her son and he will be your husband. you guys are joining families. it should be thought of as you gaining a mom and her gaining a daughter. a very beautiful thing. maybe you two should sit down and have a talk. forever is a long time to deal with a bad relationship with his mom.

SHANNONSFIANCE1 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 59
9/21/12 10:08 P

my future mother in awesome,i didnt meet her in person til after nine months of dating,we finally met 2 and a half.she lets me call her mom,mommy,mamma.I tell her i love her and she loves me too.It takes a while to get used to but she(your future mamma in law)will come around.hope that helps!and my future mamma in law can COOK!thats a dang A+! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon lov a new friend,Kayla

OJ_2_OK SparkPoints: (20,167)
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9/20/12 8:46 P

Be yourself, love her for her, but don't let her walk all over you either. Pick and choose your battles. Don't let the little stuff bother you. Her criticalness of your car and how you dress are little things that don't matter. Who cares what she thinks about that stuff? Laugh it off. When it comes to the bigger issues make sure to let her know she's overstepped her boundaries, offended you and its not okay.

Also discuss it with your fiance.

My future mother in law is very overbearing and a busy body.

Hopefully yours will come around. Include her when she can, and try to enjoy her company. However, the saying goes, You can lead a horse to water but can't force them to drink.

Don't let her get you down. You fiance obviously thinks your wonderful. You can't please every one 100% of the time. You are you, and a wonderful you, so don't forget that. :)

HWTB1014 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 9
9/20/12 5:23 P

Hey Everyone!

I don't know about you, but my future mother-in-law, well, she doesn't exactly, I don't know, like me? Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm taking her only son (only child as well) away to be a husband instead of her little boy. She and I have never seen eye to eye, and she can be quite difficult (to put it nicely). So I know this post is long, but I was wondering if anyone else would like to share their stories or even better, advice, about getting along with the new in-laws?

I know sometimes she does try, but really, she refuses to accept the fact that we are engaged. She won't use the word engaged or fiancee around us, when we told her we were engaged she said "congratulations." and didn't mention it again.

Last night I was feeling particularly awful because of a very stressful day at work. I went to my fiancee's house afterwards because he wanted to cheer me up. I could tell right away that she didn't want me there. She criticizes me all the time, last night it was that the trunk of my car is too messy. Really, she's the only person checking the trunk of my car for neatness. She has purposely stuck her head in there on more than one occasion to see if it is mess. BTW, it is usually messy because I live an hour away from where I work, go to school and where my fiancee lives, so I pack all my stuff for the next few days and throw it in the trunk of my car. This usually includes running shoes, work out clothes, school bag, duffel bag of clothes and two pairs of shoes.

The next thing she went after was that I don't dress well. She says I should dress up for work by wearing a blouse, skirt and high heals everyday, and I should wear more make-up. Now, FYI, the company that I work for is a corporate work-place, but it is very casual. The President of the company comes downstairs to greet us all the time and he wears shorts and tee shirts. So naturally I dress casually also otherwise I would stick out like a sore thumb.

Anyway, I have been carrying that around for the past 24 hours. I could really use some advice or anything anyone has to offer. Thanks for reading!

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