I am wondering if those mixed signals are based on the long distance thing. She is probably in the same type of push-pull situation you find yourself in. If the relationship has gone far enough, perhaps it's time to talk.
Thanks for posting the story. Also thank you for the congratulations, even though they may be a bit premature. We aren't exactly together. I'm "trying" to court her, but the long distance and the mixed signals I'm geting (or my mixed interpretations of them) make things extremely confusing. I really hope that you are right, and that this is one of those things that is meant to be, but only time and persistance will be able to tell that tale.
I enjoyed hearing about your husband. He sounds like an awesome guy. Could you do me a favor and ask him about some of the things that were going through his mind when he made the decision to move out to NH? I'm still debating with myself whether or not I should move to where my lady friend lives. I think hearing the perspective of someone who actually did pull a Good Will Hunting and moved across country to "go see about a girl," would really help me out in the decision that I'm trying to make.
Well, it is a really long story. But, to make it a bit shorter, I was in my sophomore year of college, my first away from home, when the chat room thing was a big deal. One night I did not feel like writing a paper so I went to visit the girl that lived next to me and use her computer to check this chat room thing out. So, I started talking to this guy that told me he lived in CA (I was in NH)... so I figured nothing would ever come of it since we were so far apart. So we became friends and I eventually gave him my number and we talked for HOURS every day. Unfortunately, I was also communicating with another guy I met online.. and not to divulge too many details cuz I really don't want pity, I went out with the other guy and basically ended up in the hospital because of it. After a while I started talking to the CA guy and for some reason all I had to say was that something terrible had happened and he knew. From that moment on, he was my hero...... he would talk to me literally all night long... I called him with nightmares and he would sing me back to sleep... a real prince. We met in person that Valentine's Day (six years ago this year)-he flew to NH to take me to a college dance... then I went to CA for spring break and he moved to NH that fall. We lived together for three years and got married a year and a half ago! So my husband is my silver lining in the dark cloud... I married my hero, my love, and my best friend!
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your post. No, I did not meet my lady friend via the internet, although, since she lives over 2000 miles away, most of our conversations occur via the internet. I would still love to hear about the great success story you have. I met this girl while I was in high school. She went out of state for college, I stayed near home. Last year we ran into each other while she was visiting family, we started talking, then next thing you know I find myself trying to court her.
If you want to know more about it or want to send me the online romance success story you have rather than post it, my e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org
Hey Dragon.. I am new here and wondering how you met this lady friend of yours....? The reason I ask is because of the distance thing it sounds like an online romance... I apoligize if that is presumptuous of me, but I have a great success story in that area if you are interested!
For all those interested in hearing about how things went with that lady friend of mine that I've been posting about, here goes:
Things went extremely well between the two of us. There was great conversation without any of those awkward pauses. We even had a bit of that fun and witty Clark Gable/Gilmore Girls banter. Not sure if this was enough to charm her into moving out my way, Cyp, but it's a start. I'll be seeing her in a few weeks, and hopefully I'll just be oozing with charm when I do. As far as the juicy details go, there was hand holding, arm holding (like an usher escorts female guests to a wedding), neck massaging, some resting of her on my shoulder, and even a big goodbye hug that was 100% initiated by her. And it wasn't just any old hug. It lasted longer than most hugs, and she squeezed harder in this hug than any other hug I've been given by her (and there haven't been a whole lot). A lot of progress occurred in our relationship. I think we both got to know each other on a deeper level, and best of all, we had fun together.
My best friend thinks this whole situation is hilarious. When I told him about all that happened he said, "I can't believe you're this excited over a hug." A lot of you who read this may have the same opinion as he, but let me explain why what I have just told you about is good news and progress in our relationship.
She has been a devout Christian all her life and her experiences, culture, and childhood have given her a much different view on dating than most people have. If any of you have read the book by Joshua Harris called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," then you'll have an idea of her perspective on this issue. Basically the idea is to get to know guys as a brother in Christ before taking the next step into courtship. In fact, she would like her first kiss to be on her wedding day. A lot of you will think this is a little too extreme (like my best friends do), but it works for her, and it's working for me. If anything, the whole distance factor helps. It removes a lot of the temptation to get physical too soon in the relationship.
I was a little sad after she left, but then I read what FOXYBLONDE785 posted in response to the 12/3/2002 inspirational quote:
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
So thank you FOXY!!! And thanks to everyone else who's help me out with support or advice regarding my far away friend.
Dragon: I had forgotten about the girl. I do remember now that your best friend is located where you are now; if you move to be where the girl is, you will no longer be where the friend is. Charm her like crazy over Thanksgiving so that she decides to move to where you are.
Edited by: CYPRINODON at: 11/26/2002 (10:51)
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428 11/24/02 7:51 A
Welcome back ..... can't wait to read all your new posts.
I'm glad to be back on the boards. I miss them and all of the wonderful people who I've talked with, and I can't wait to speak with the wonderful people that I haven't met yet. Thanks for the warm welcome back.
Let's see, where to begin with what I've been up to... Basically, I been going to school, and working, and trying to squeeze sleep and exercise somewhere in between. But now I'm done with the school thing and am working. And am desperately trying to find a way to keep myself from being a "dull boy." December 21 is graduation. I'll be receiving an Associates Degree in Computer Information Technology. I may end up being Val Victorian too, but if not, then I'll at least be Sumna-Cum-Laude. So WAHOO for that. My exercise routine and weight have basically been on a rollercoaster ride during this time, but I seemed to have flattened out with a 7 lb loss. Now that I don't have classes to attend and to study for, I plan on hitting the gym often, and hopefully drop another 34 lbs to get me down to 190.
On another note, I've been nervous as heck lately. Remember way back when I posted a topic in the SparkPeople Cafe board under the topic, "Just want to chat? This is the place" about long distance relationships and moving across country? Well, the girl I was referring to in that post is flying into town this week. So wish me luck.
Well, I too, have come back from the great Unknown. School and work have been extremely busy, but now school is done. So, in trademark SparkPeople fashion, WHAOO!!! Anyway, you should be seeing more of me from now on. I'm happy to be able to come back, and am all fired up about my streak. This time I WILL complete it. Day 1 starts now.
P.S. Cyp, thanks for the e-mail. That was very nice of you.
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428 11/18/02 11:18 A
Wahoo.......... K is Back !!!! Strike up the band .... !
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192 11/4/02 3:07 P
Well. All those SparkPeople who have fallen off the streak-wagon, but still managed to get back up and get back on...all you hard working, goal-setting, demons who refuse to take quit when those b-a-d old habits creep back up. I salute you ALL as I face my "Day 1." Again. The busy-ness of life got the better of me, and I slipped away from the SparkSystem. Though I always managed kept my goal journal close at hand, it just ain't the same as coming here and drawing from the strength and humour of all of your experiences. With that being said...Tomorrow is Day 1 of my new exercize streak. WaHOO!!!