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DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/4/13 10:05 P

Lol, wow, it's like you've lived with my family.

They're really bad about both sabatoging and teasing-- But I hadn't really thought about the reason behind their teasing.

Anyway, great tips. I'll try to use them! I think they'll help a lot.

BECKYBECKY1954 Posts: 66
4/4/13 7:57 P


I'm so proud of you! Stay strong!

I agree that it's harder to eat healthy when you live with others who make un-healthy choices for themselves and/or create un-healthy temptations for you.

I have several helpful hints.

Think to yourself "I'm learning to resist temptations everywhere: in my home, in restaurants, at school, at work, in the store, etc. I will make healthy choices anywhere I am, and it's going to be difficult and frustrating everywhere. In my home is just one of many places to practice my healthy habits."

Think to yourself "I'm learning to resist temptations no matter who I'm with: family, friends, classmates, co-workers, etc. I will make healthy choices no matter what choices they are making for themselves and no matter what they may or may not say to me. My family are just some of many people that I will deal with."

Although some family and freinds provide support, others will defintely sabotage you, so you're wise to watch out for that.

At home, play it very low-key. Say little or nothing about what you are or aren't eating. Don't call attention to your food choices, food preparation, food shopping, etc.

If someone comments, teases, criticizes, tempts or anything, it's okay to kindly say nothing. You don't need to answer, respond, defend, argue, criticize, etc. It's okay to just gently shrug or gently smile or whatever. It's okay to just calmly and gently say "No, thanks" to an offered temptation.

By all means, don't criticize the choices they make. The best thing you can do is lead by example, anyway.

I learned a great way to stop people from bugging me about stuff. If friends or family wanted me to eat something like pizza, fried chicken or whatever when I preferred to have salad, grilled chicken, or whatever, I'd say very low-key "Oh, my stomach is feeling just a little bit rocky today, so eating the _____ will be better on my tummy". After that, people just drop it and move on to another topic. It works so much better than saying "No, I'd rather eat good today" or "No, pizza isn't healthy" or "No, fried chicken has too much fat and calories." It helps them to save face and not be defensive or argumentative about their own bad choices. You can't use this too much on family because they'll become appropriately concerned that you're really sick, but you can pick and choose.

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/4/13 6:03 P

Yes, yes, and yes. All of the things you said, yes, lol. Thus far I've discovered a few healthier options I love-- One of which is coconut oil.

What's been helping me a lot is just instead of saying " I'll feel better if I eat some chocolate " I say " Actually I'll feel better if I don't. " I don't feel like I'm depriving myself really-- at least not so drastically. Just changing the wording helped a LOT these past couple days.

Haha, I live in a house with 4 obese people, and two others who are overweight. All in all, only two people in our home are of healthy weight, and this is due to natural metabolism and activity level. With McDonalds going through nearly every day, I'll admit the temptation is ridiculously great... They also have a habit of handing me candy bars when I start eating healthier.... It's strange. Perhaps subconscious hindrance?

Regardless, I'm mostly posting this response I guess so that more people who don't have full control over their large families have something to relate to. I can't really keep sweets and McDoubles out of the house, and it's frustrating. It's not impossible to resist though. I'm happy to say I've said no to chocolate a couple times in the past two days alone.

KINASMOM SparkPoints: (621)
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Posts: 6
4/4/13 10:57 A

I am in the same boat! I will say planning ahead for meals is the best way I can manage. Also, you have to find healthy foods you enjoy. When I avoid foods I like too much, eventually I cave and binge, so find a couple things you can incorporate into your plan. And this is where I get stuck.. We have to look at food as fuel, not our friend or comfort. I have a dry erase board on my fridge and wrote "a few seconds vs. a lot of minutes" reminding myself that something may be great for a few seconds while chewing, but how much work needs to be done to burn it off? I also keep very limited snacks or junk in the house. If it ain't there, you can't eat it!

DTCATSPARK Posts: 1,031
4/4/13 10:43 A

What a great thread, the reach out and the answers! Proud_Momma is what we all need to get to the heart of our challenges. I would bet there are 1000's of people on Spark that can change your name on your post and replace with their own name. I am one of them (actually I am 5 of them as I re-started 5 times).

Good luck with your journey, you can do this and so can the rest of us. With help and the right attitude + SparkFriends with straight advise it gets easier.

All the best!


PROUD__MOMMA SparkPoints: (2,358)
Fitness Minutes: (465)
Posts: 92
4/4/13 10:29 A

I've been there and done that many times lol.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." You have to be positive!!

"I am eating healthy because it feels really good and I feel better when I do."

rather than

"I am eating these stupid veggies again because I'm fat."

You can totally do it. Planning your meals is a BIGGIE for sure, which is why SP is so great. Add me as a friend and we can keep eachother accountable! :)

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/3/13 11:46 P

I'm super glad to hear that. :D Made this post even more worth it than it already was.

CHERIJ16 Posts: 2,239
4/3/13 8:58 P

I have been off track for a couple of days now. I found myself eating those fattening foods left over from Easter. Thank you to all of you because your question and your answers have really helped me too! emoticon

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/3/13 8:02 P

Wow. Your post actually almost made me cry. I'm in a room full of people so I held back, lol. But your response means a lot.

I do need to stay committed. I think I'm going to start with small, realistic changes and work my way up.

Also, you're very, very good at reading tones. I feel much better today, as the small changes have begun... But I was in such an awful place mentally when I posted.

Thanks for being such a kind person.

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/3/13 7:56 P

Yeah. You're right. This is a good way to start. My therapist actually helped me recognize the thought pattern that leads to the cravings, which helps. Instead of telling myself I can't have something, I tell myself I'll feel better if I choose not to.

I'm happy to say I've made some small changes today-- I've made my own bread and got lean turkey for a healthy protein. The bread is still white, but now that I understand a little better how bread works, I can start making healthier versions as well. Besides, none of those nasty preservatives are in mine. :)

Its not much yet, but I feel like at least it's something.

PROUD__MOMMA SparkPoints: (2,358)
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Posts: 92
4/3/13 5:25 P

I couldn't help but notice your post was is in a desperate, self-loathing tone. This will get you nowhere.

I know, because I'm the queen of this.

First, you are BEAUTIFUL! Look at yourself in the mirror and say that to yourself.

I seen this great quote that I think applies in your situation:

"Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to dolong after the mood you said it in has left you."

Weightloss is much more than just wanting to do it, you have to put in the work and effort.

Best bet is to start over with SP. I like the Meal Plan designed by SP because I don't have to think about much. I'm just following their guidelines and putting in the work at the gym. Good luck mama!

JENSTRESS Posts: 5,403
4/3/13 10:58 A

Our bodies get "addicted" to the terrible food. Some of those things (sugars, etc) are like a drug to our bodies and it is TOUGH to let it go.

About 6 months ago, while not here on SP, I was stressed, and just not doing well in general. I hated that I had gained weight back, but was eating AWFUL. Every day I would stop to get something sort of healthy at the grocery store (better than mcdonalds?) and I would buy a donut. Then, after a week or so, I bought 2. Then, 3. I am not kidding. 3 donuts for breakfast almost every day. Then, one day, while holding my 3 donuts in hand waiting for the checkout line, I saw a woman who was thin in front of me and kind of thought, "Man, I wish I was so lucky to be naturally thin." THEN, I looked at what she was buying for HER breakfast (or snack or lunch, I'm going with breakfast). She bought a small bowl of FRUIT. It hit me. She wasn't NATURALLY thin. She just didn't eat 3 donuts for breakfast!!! She ate HEALTHY foods!!! (I'd like to say that I put the donuts back, but I did eat them that day) Within a week or so, I started eating a LITTLE better. Then, my sister gave me back my blender she had been using for smoothies. SO. I started making smoothies for my breakfast. Now, it isn't a donut, (or 3) but I blend spinach, strawberries, blueberries and mango (sometimes the blueberries and mango are blackberries and raspberries, but the spinach and strawberries are ALWAYS in there.) The spinach is fresh, the fruit is all frozen (with no sugar added) and then first day, after my morning workout, I really enjoyed it. It was sweet, and filling, and gave me an energy boost.

I do this now, every day. During the week so I dont wake every person in the house, I pre-make them and freeze them for workday breakfasts. I pack my lunch every day. It is a salad, but I pre-grill chicken, take fresh spinach, the chicken, cherry or grape tomatoes, carrots, peppers and some feta cheese crumbles, and eat that.

Now, I admit, I was really wanting to try to eat better. HOWEVER, after 1 week (just ONE!) of eating like this, I felt freaking AMAZING. I felt so much better than I have in a long time. Happier. More energy. SO much like that. So, I kept eating like that and working out. I'm still eating this way.

I honestly think that if you start small, with healthy foods that you enjoy, you will start to feel healthier. WHen you start to feel healthier, your cravings will start to go away.

It takes a while to really feel like they aren't holding on to you, but you really do have to make that first decision.

Hope this helps.

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/2/13 9:20 P

It does, actually. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment, because I really needed some support.

Tomorrow, I'll get a fresh start. I think part of the problem is that the foods I eat when I begin changing my eating habits aren't foods that I even remotely like... Which means I'm "dieting" not actually setting myself up to make a real change. And I don't just mean I eat a salad-- I mean I force down my most hated foods just because its better for me. (For example, eggs. I had a family member laugh at me while I was forcing down a boiled one and grimacing.)

I suppose I'll be making a trip to the grocery store for some healthier proteins tomorrow and veggies that I wouldn't mind snacking on.

I wonder what makes changing eating habits so hard. Yeah, unhealthy food tastes good, but the effects it can have on our bodies is.... Just terrible. I'm sure things will work out once I kick some bad habits. My body's just going to have to deal with the lack of milk chocolate? Lol.

Also, congrats on changing your life style.

BECKYBECKY1954 Posts: 66
4/2/13 8:49 P

Here's what I'm doing, and you can do it, too:

Tell yourself that you want to develop a healthy eating plan that you can follow for the rest of your life. This means that in additon to eating lots of fruits and vegetables, lots of lean meats, and lots of salads, you'll also be eating planned snacks, planned treats, planned splurges.

Here is just one example for me: my favorite breakfast is a restaurant breakfast of two fried eggs, hash brown potatoes, several strips of bacon, and a side of pancakes with syrup. Of course I would love to eat that breakfast every day, who wouldn't? LOL But I told myself that from now on I will only eat a breakfast like that maybe once a month or once every other month. Instead, I'll have breakfasts at home that include various combos of oatmeal, fresh fruit, skim milk, yogurt, or eggs that are mostly egg whites.

You said that you were counting calories, but I would use the SparkPeople Food Tracker because it will count calories, protein, carbohydrates, fats, etc. Start by tracking everything honestly even if it's "bad" foods. Then take a look and start to sub in healthier choices for each eating habit you have that's not healthy.

I faced that fact that "some things in life are hard to do." To eat healthy for the rest of my life, I don't feel sorry for myself because I can't eat a Wendy's hamburger meal every day. I just admit "Of course you wanna eat that, but just not today. Eat your big salad today, and it's okay to get Wendy's another day".

Does that help you?

DATPANNA Posts: 158
4/2/13 8:13 P

It's been quite awhile since I've been on here-- And admittedly, I've gained 30 lbs since. I can't stop gaining at this point, and I don't know how to get back in the game and STAY there. I've tried calorie counting, and every day just to keep myself from being hungry I end up over eating-- Though I do make sure I get protein in every meal to keep cravings away longer.

My metabolism since I've been gone has gone crazy because I started eating 4 large meals a day due to anxiety and stress.... Yay long term binging? I don't know what to do to fix it, and it's affecting my blood sugar with random drops when I cut back.

On top of that, I want to change... But sometimes I don't think I want it bad enough. I hate how I look and how I feel, but this doesn't ever seem to be enough to stop the binging. I've started therapy, but I need some advice to get me focused. Maybe some stories of fellow sparkers?

Advice, please? What keeps you motivated? What was the moment you decided enough was enough? I thought I'd reached my point, but I guess not. Any and every reply helps.

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