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BARBWMS Posts: 1,396
7/2/12 1:12 P

As a mother of young adults who went thru their heartbreaks and as a high school teacher, I think the most important thing you can do as a loving adult is acknowledge that they are in pain. Don't trivialize, don't say "I know how you feel" (since they won't believe that). When students tell me their sorrows, I just say, "I'm so sorry you are hurting."

Adolescence has a lot of pain built in and it's important for them to become effective adults by learning to deal with loss and unfairness. I'd love to protect my kids from all pain, but it would not be possible.

In any case, enjoy... one of the great blessings in life is when your kids become adults and not only do you love them, you like them, and they love and like you!

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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6/29/12 11:16 A

No matter which way it went, they would have gotten through it. At this age, they will have to learn how to work through and get over heartbreaks and disappointments of all kinds. As a parent, we hurt for them, but we need to let them spread their wings and learn to fly on their own. Keep the faith.

KCOGSWELL726 Posts: 58
6/29/12 10:09 A

Thanks everyone but the disaster has been fixed. They are back together and my step daughter has realized how much she was hurting them by expecting them to deny their feelings.

JADOMB SparkPoints: (134,622)
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6/28/12 12:28 P

Not much one can do during these issues with our young ones, other than be there for them and love them. They will continue to have more heartbreaks and that is just life, that is what one has to relay to our young. Open communication and love is about the only thing a parent can do. Being too involved can lead to many future issues. Be careful of taking sides or passing blame.

I went though many heartbreaks before I finally found the one that loves me as much as I love her. My daughter went through many also and is now getting married this coming January to the best man she ever had in her sights. (and I agree) My son had many heartbreaks and has yet to find the one, but he has learned to be patient and not so quick to "fall in love".

So just be there for him and show him in your life, what true love is really all about.

KCOGSWELL726 Posts: 58
6/23/12 5:00 P

Thanks Hippeenik, It's funny, no matter how old they get you hate to see them hurting. I know he will get through it but it is not fare to lose their relationship for such a reason.

HIPPEENIK SparkPoints: (0)
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6/23/12 4:41 P

oh thats such I wee shame..It is a difficult time for them and their feelings are so intense.All 3 involved must be feeling it.I think its a great idea that they all sit and talk it through if they can.Maybe you can mediate in case it gets heated. Are the girls still spending time with each other? Sometimes when a friend finds love the other can be left out.
I hope things are worked out..Alll throughout your son needs time,space and love from his mum
Best wishes

KCOGSWELL726 Posts: 58
6/23/12 7:40 A

How does a mom help her 16 year old son through a broken heart? My son and my step daughters best friend have been dating for a month or so, but my step daughter hates the idea and is giving them both a lot of grief. So last night his girlfriend broke it off because she couldn't stand the thought of losing her best friend. They both really care for each other. I think they should both sit down together with her and put all their feelings out there. My thoughts are if they deny themselves happiness and love that eventually they will feel resentment towards her for keeping them apart, and that is what will seemingly ruin their friendship. If they put it all on the table, she will be upset/angry for awhile; but if she cares about them she will get over it. And trust me I love all 3 of them as my own and don't want to see any of them hurting.
So glad I am no longer a teen, I personally think they were the worst years of my life, not the best as so many say they are supposed to be. emoticon

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