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6/11/12 3:31 P

The suggestions you've been given so far are so on the money there's hardly anything left for me to say except (1) to emphasize how much I agree that you cannot fix this for him and (20 to suggest that, by focusing on yourself first, you're actually doing the absolute best thing for him--providing him a living example of: persistence, commitment, patience and personal accountability.

He needs all of those to succeed, but he cannot get them from you any more than you can get them from him.

Be the light. Let him walk toward it in his own time and in his own way.

JENMC14 Posts: 2,786
6/11/12 11:49 A

Don't push him. He has to come to it in his own time. Do what you need to do. FOcus on you, make yourself helathier. You can certainly help him without being blatant by fixing healthy meals, suggesting more physical activies like hikes or walks on the weekends and trying to eat out as acouple less. Make the changes you need to make for you. Be an example. Maybe your personal motivation and changes will get him motivated. Maybe as he sees you working hard and getting healthier, it will help him realize he can change his life, too.

I know it's hard to watch ones we love be unhappy, but, honestly, only he can fix this. You can't, and you will drive yourself crazy trying.

TONKA14 Posts: 4,947
6/11/12 11:10 A

Sometimes having a common goal can bring a couple together especially when they are working together, sharing the ups and downs and encouraging one another to keep going. Although it is hard to see your loved one feeling like this and the feelings it brings out in you, could it also provide some insight into how he might feel about watching you?

Maybe you could talk with him about how you feel, let him share how he feels and then talk about setting a joint goal that you can work on together so you can both feel about about your own body image while drawing closer as a couple. Here are some resources that might help you take this journey together.

Is Weight-Loss Hurting Your Relationship?
The Real Issues and How to Address Them

Workout Ideas for Couples
Put Your Love to the Fitness Test

Help Your Loved Ones Stay Healthy
Random Acts of Fitness, Nutrition and Health

20 Active Date Ideas: SparkPeople SlideShow

Coach Tanya

HEZZYLUNA Posts: 129
6/11/12 10:54 A

I'm starting out again, after a two month pause in my journey. I'm 6 lbs heavier now, which actually isn't what's making me feel blue. I wrote another post about my spouse not really being as motivated as I am, and I think that might be what's causing me to feel this way.

I should be feeling hopeful, if not a little scared. And I am a little hopeful. The thought of feeling good about my body seems wonderful. I guess it's just that this time I'm more scared than hopeful.

My fiance is really unhappy about his weight, as am I. But I'm used to feeling like this, I'm not used to him being unhappy. The thought of your significant other being unhappy and there's nothing you can do about it is really scary. I guess that's why I'm pushing so hard for him to do this with me.

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