Fitness Minutes: (788)
42 11/16/12 2:50 P
I fear that all the weight I've lost, I'll wake up one day and it all will be there. I fear that one day I'll binge again and I'll never stop!! I fear mostly, not living my life to fullest and being the very best ME that I can be, that means being healthy, whole, healed, free to fly and so much more!!!!!!!!!!!
11/17/11 1:58 P
I, too, have lost and gained weight too many times. I have had many things derail me as well. Nothing as challenging as what you've been through, but still they derailed my efforts. I cried for months last November when I sprained my ankle (it took 6 months to heal). I thought I couldn't go through the weight loss journey again and I was watching the weight creep up and felt helpless. But, I decided to try again. If something comes up and I gain the weight back, I will try again.
I've learned something from each weight loss attempt and know I will continue to learn. Someday, hopefully with this weight loss, I will have learned enough to stay within a healthy weight.
I hope you can see the benefits of trying and go for it! You'll be happy you did!
Your Mom, your grandson, closing your spa, and dealing with multiple health issues was and is your test. Laurie is right life is a journey. Don't wait for the storms to pass...because there will be more...learn to dance in the rain. Situations will come up...life is how you deal with them.
Re-open your spa. Try to have non-weight, non-scale measurements. Some people are not meant to be stick thin, 120 pounds.
Fear of failing again has been a huge obstacle for me too. With all your health problems and family issues I can't imagine that it is easy in any way.
I am going to try making a goal collage so that I can concretely look at what my goals are. My goals aren't to look like a super model but I do want to wear my favourite dress from 6 years ago. I think having specific attainable goals will make the overwhelming feeling of trying to measure up to an ideal feel a little easier.
Your description of your age and its wonders may be true, but life is not about a destination...it is about a journey. Maybe you will get side-tracked again. Or, maybe you will find a stragedy on this leg that helps you lessen the impact. If you don't try, you won't know.
Here is to peace of mind, however you find it.
Fitness Minutes: (21,594)
11/16/11 11:50 P
You are a strong woman. Look at all you have been through. How many people could of handled what you have? And here you are, on SparkPeople...so you want to begin this journey again. Remember, sometimes long journeys have detours. So you got sidetracked along the way. That doesn't mean you can't continue on. There are not too many of us who will be swimsuit models on magazine covers. That's OK. ( I'm still not over that either ) Just be the best you, that you can be. Do as much as your health will allow. Celebrate your victories.
You are not alone. All of SP is here and you can do this!
I just read "conquering your fears through action". I must say - it sounds like it was written for me. I have been a yo-yo dieter all my adult life. I started being overweight as an adolescent - lost weight in HS - then gained with the birth of each of my three sons. Since then it has been up and 'downsville' for me. I feel that each time I try to get healthy something happens to derail me.
Now here I sit at 60 and still overweight - abt 45 pounds worth. My back hurts, my legs ache, I am pre-diabetic, have fibromyalgia and Hashimoto's Thyroiditis. Last March 2011 I started on a healthy eating regime and hired a personal trainer. I was losing and feeling great when another family crisis hit. Instead of being able to take care of me I found myself taking care of my 84 yr old mother and my 3 1/2 yr old grandson. All the stress and fatigue of trying to keep up caused a flare-up of my fibromyalgia which resulted in daily pain and unrelenting fatigue. I closed my part-time skin care spa to take care of them but it was too late. The fibro had it's hold on me again. I had been free from pain for almost 1 yr and it was a long road through rehab, PT, OT, and cranio-sacral therapy to break the cycle of pain. Now I am fighting depression and pain daily. It seems that every time I get myself on the road to wellness something happens in my life to throw me off track.
Now that I have closed my spa - I loved the spa and ladies I saw - my mother has moved out and my grandson was taken to Michigan by his mother. I now have time for me but here's the clinker - I am afraid to even try anymore. I am afraid that as soon as I get on the road to recovery again someone or something will happen to nail me again. AND the Holidays are breathing down my neck again. I am so tired of the on and off again that I am ready to throw in the towel and accept that I will die overweight or die from the conditions caused by obesity.
My question is when is enough enough and when do you just accept your fate and live unfettered by the constant 'messages' to be thin, healthy, skinny mini? I feel like it will not matter anyway because even if I lose weight - I will still have the diseases that wear me out and I will still have a 60+ yr old body. You know the ones - flabby belly, thighs and butt - wrinkled face and bat wing arms.
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