Depression is so hard. You're fighting too many battles right now. Physical, emotional, etc... I've been there. But you're making a great decision to see a professional. You won't receive judgement, they genuinely care and want to help break the cycles. It's near to impossible to lose weight and keep it off when you're battling a disease or illness. But I look at your weigh-tloss bar, and am like, "honey, first of all you need a hug and a pat on the back!" You are under stress and pressure from all sides: school, friends, yourself... and look at that weightloss! =) A professional can help you break the harmful eating cycles and teach you to be gentle with yourself. You're not giving up, you're reaching out for help--this is such a huge, hard but WORTH it step. You are investing in your emotional and physical health. It may feel worse before it get's better, but it will.
I've usually been so good about not eating junk food and being extremely healthy. After my summer depression, I would notice at the end of the day that I hadn't eaten enough at all to fuel my body.
So I would try and make myself eat, and all I actually wanted to eat late at night was what I had not allowed myself all day; junk food. So because of my calorie defect (and my friends comments about my body) I allowed myself to eat it. Now it's just escalated to needing the junk food more and more.
I always feel guilty about eating junk food (even peanut butter!!). So my increasing intake of junk food, and my increasing weight and waist line has definitely increased my depression.
I need to realize that my depression and my food/body image obsession isn't the only thing that makes me me. Its just so hard.
I'm not perfect, I don't need to look like a model. I CAN eat junk food, but that doesn't mean I can be this unhealthy.
I need to stop beating myself up all the time on either extreme.
(And thank you all for replying to my first message, I always feel so pathetic when I reach out for help like this, but really I appreciate your messages.)
did said dietician suggest what you should eat to gain the extra calories needed? I can't imagine any dietician worth their weight would suggest junk food. Or was that your choice? College is tough. I didn't gain the Freshman 15. i gained the Freshman 50. I lost it in my senior year by getting into a study on health and weight loss through one of the nutrition departments on campus. No, i didn't make any money, but i was taught how to eat and what to eat and how to exercise. Now 20+ years later, I am way over weight. After college i didn't follow what i was supposed to do and gained over 100+.
Stick to your guns my dear. Eat healthy snacks. Get rid of the junk food. Would be better to overindulge on carrots and celery than chips and dip. They also will not make your books and papers greasy. (LOL)
11/16/12 9:38 A
Can you talk to the dietitian again? If you are trying to eat more calories, there are luckily lots of ways to add calories to your diet in small, healthy ways so that you don't "feel huge". Things like nuts, seeds, avocado have healthy, plant-based fats, and have a lot of calories in a small package. Also try eating animal-based protein from fish, lean beef or poultry. If you are getting your extra calories from sugar or other refined carbs, it actually IS going to make you more depressed!
Here is an article about "natural mood lifters" that you might find helpful:
When you go to the psychiatrist, also ask about some in-person therapy to help you with your relationship with food. It sounds like you are bouncing between extremes and that is a hard cycle to break (as I know from experience). It is OK to need help with this process, and you are worth the effort!
11/16/12 9:14 A
Hi, Healthy1017. Your Spark page suggests you are a student, so you are probably coming up on exams--good success to you there. Gaining 7# during one term at college is not the end of the world, even though it feels like it. College is tough--be kinder to yourself, especially if it is your first term...even if it isn't, kindness goes a long way.
If you are truly depressed, you might want to go to your school's health center; depression can be a serious condition, and it CAN be treated. Takes time, and attention. Good success to you for that, too.
As for strategies...your page says you are counting calories and doing cardio. It's often helpful to actually TRACK what you eat, and when, so you can find the patterns--when you are eating from hunger, when from stress. The more you know about yourself, the more easily you can decide what to change. Also, if you make your trackers public on your page, people can offer suggestions for useful changes.
Cardio is great. Strength training, however, can be greater; it can help you build muscle to replace fat, tone your body, so it will look as slim as it actually is, and increase your metabolic rate. Try adding an intelligent strength routine a couple of times a week. See what that does for you.
Staying hydrated, especially now that heating systems are on, can help you in SO many ways. Take a water bottle to class (knowing how much it contains helps you know how much you have consumed). You'll feel better with water, not pop or coffee.
I hope you first begin to address your depression. When your outlook is stronger, the other things will begin to fall into place...take it slowly, making small, sustainable changes, and BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.
So I've been struggling with my weight for forever. This summer I was extremely depressed and got to a new low in my weight.
Now I'm even more depressed but have gained around 7 pounds in the past three weeks after speaking to a dietician about how much I should actually be eating. I've added these calories by junk food which clearly isn't the right solution.
I'm so depressed about eating too little, and now I'm depressed about eating too much. My friends still make stupid comments about how I look too skinny (I've lost a lot of weight since high school) but they don't know my struggles or my current weight gain of 7 lbs in the past few weeks and how huge I feel. I just can't find the balance anymore. I'm going to a psychiatrist on Monday and might be getting anti-depressants.
I just don't care about being healthy anymore. I know I can't let this spiral out of control or else I will hate myself even more. I just don't know where to turn. Food brings me instant comfort when I hate the world and myself.