True it is your day, but if you allow people to bring guests. You cannot dictate whom they bring. I read that in Peggy Post.
And if you already told Suzy Bridesmaid that she could bring a guest. Knowing that she doesn't have a significant other. You can't take it back. So if you already told your brother he could bring a guest. You can't take it back.
If your brother and Girlfriend are a package deal. Then you may just have to put up with her, for the sake of having your brother there.
What is more important? Alienating your brother (hurt feelings can last a long time) or putting up with this girl?
We are making a rule that we are only inviting SOs if they are married to, engaged to, or live with the person we want to invite. The only plus 1's we're allowing are for people traveling from out of town who don't know anyone. I don't think you have an obligation to pay $50 a plate for someone you don't know, they aren't serious with, etc.
That being said, if it will make your brother skip the event, you should tread carefully. Talk to him about it. Tell him you can't afford it, don't want to deal with the drama.
Normally I would say it is your day, so do what you want... (and part of me still says that)
However, you do probably need to invite her. I am going to go off the road a little bit and probably say you shouldn't address the invitation to brother "and guest." Here's why (and I don't know how traditional you are being). Traditionally, "and guest" is the "easy way" out of situation and indicates that you don't care enough to know or find out the name of the guest/significant other of the person you want to invite. Every ettiqute book that I have seen advices against this "and guest" or "and family" policy. The rule states that you should address the invite to Mr. and Mrs. Whomever or list their names on separate lines. Such as Brother Smith/Girlfried Pukeface....
However, I do agree you should sit your brother down (wow! How hard is that going to be!?!) and just explain that he knows (I would assume) that his g/f has a hard time getting along with your family and you would (please) like his help in controlling the situation if he would like her to be invitied. His response may surprise you...and then address the invite accordingly.
11/30/08 6:45 P
I agree with Tire Maker. Invite your brother and a Guest. That way it is up to him to invite her.
Does your brother know how you feel about his Girlfriend?
i agree just talk it over with your brother. i mean if noone can get along with then wouldnt invite her. but it would hurt you if your bro didnt come tos ee his siter get married. then again you prob. wouldnt be spending alot of time with her i mean there would be alot of other people there to socialize with take pictures with etc. so you would prob. hardly see her.
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399 11/28/08 8:55 P
you would invite your brother and guest, so it would be up to him to invite her
11/27/08 9:33 P
As previous posts have mentioned, I think that etiquette would say that yes, you do need to invite her. Even if you don't like her, will her being there really ruin your day? Would it ruin your day more to not have your brother attend? I think that the easiest solution to this would be to discuss this with your brother... good luck!
11/26/08 11:52 P
Like Steeler said, if you are allowing people to bring guests. You have to allow your brother to bring a guest. And you can't tell him who he can bring.
You could cross your fingers and hope that she finally gets on his last nerve and they break up!
are u letting ur sister's bring dates? how about the rest of ur guests? if your letting everyone else bring dates then i think you might have to cuz then that's just obvious. If on the other hand no one is allowed to bring guests or only certain people are bringing guests just explain to him that there isn't enough room/food/money or whatever to invite her. Hopefully he will understand. If u do have to invite her just remember its ur day so u can just ignore her the whole time and have fun with ur friends and family.
This may sound like an odd question, but she does not get on with anyone in our family (including me), but should I invite her for my brother? I know my 2 sisters would rather her not come, and my mum can't even stand to look at her, but I want my brother there, and I feel if I don't ask her to come then he won't either. HELP !!!!