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IVYLASS SparkPoints: (225,875)
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7/4/12 12:32 P

Have you had any interaction with them in the past 25 years? Then who cares what they think?

I went to my 20th reunion, had a nice time, but didn't go to the 25th. It was nice to see everyone, but we didn't keep in touch, and I have my current friends to keep up with.

Quit trying to impress the people you went to high school with and concentrate on NOW. Go out for a nice dinner with your husband and move on. High school was a horror show for many of us and I see no reason to revisit it.

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,867)
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7/2/12 1:22 P

I'm so glad you were able to go and had a good time.
Yay, you!!

KATEM200 Posts: 745
7/1/12 11:32 P

Facing your fears isn't easy, and you can learn a lot about yourself when you do. And I'm glad you encountered a friendly face.

7/1/12 4:53 P

First, thank you all for your help and support. I am honored and blessed to have the SparkPeople community to call on in times of trouble.

I went to the reunion. It was held in a field using one of the girl's outbuildings for the party. Needless to say, it perfectly captured the rural nowhereness of my high school experience. The people I care about, with whom I maintained contact, were not there. A few of the people who I see tangentially (one person who worked with my mother and is close to her, some people who live near me who I run into occassionally) were there and it was nice to talk to them.

What made it actually worth it was a friend with whom I had lost touch showed up! I had a great time catching up with her and, strangely enough, both of our nieces had graduated that year from the same small high school! Seeing her made the whole thing worth the anxiety and bother.

As for Melvin, everyone said he was there. Since there were fewer than a 100 people at the whole event he certainly went to extraordinary lengths to avoid me!

Bless you all for your kindness. One of the great gifts of SparkPeople has been that it has taught me to face my fears for what they generally are - small things that I've blown all out of proportion.

YELLOWDAHLIA SparkPoints: (94,861)
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7/1/12 1:51 P

Why would you want to put yourself through something that is obviously not going to be any fun for you?

I hated high school, therefor I have no desire to go to any high school reunions. It just wouldn't be any fun for me and I like to do fun things!..LoL

JENNIEQKA SparkPoints: (34,772)
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7/1/12 6:22 A

While I was in high school I had to try very hard to find my place among the classy, wealthy, spoiled classmates coming from the big city, while I was the 'village girl'. After the first year I was the best student in the class and until the end became very popular and collected every possible award there was to be collected. My road to success has always been filled with thorns and I have really, really tried very hard for every bit of it. and when I went to the 10-years reunion I saw the 'scum' of my class holding high positions, success stories on behalf of their rich fathers... It made me sick.
This year I skipped the 20-years reunion. I had a lot to say now... I've come a long way and left them far behind... I just thought they weren't worthy of sharing my dreams with.
There are a few people from there with who I have maintained close contact along the years... so we boycotted the reunion together. Instead, we had a nice going out with our families and had a great time.
Maybe you should do the same. Good luck!

JENNIFERH625 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/30/12 6:59 P

I think it has all been well said. If it is not going to be an event you will enjoy don't put yourself through it. Another option is go a bit and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Do what you feel is best and whatever decision you make will be the best one!

PCVCHRISTINE SparkPoints: (21,364)
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6/30/12 1:35 P

I wouldn't go, and I wouldn't think there is any shame in not going. Why spend your valuable time subjecting yourself to people that you don't care for (and who don't seem to care for you), when you can spend time with your family.

RPRE1948 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/30/12 12:42 P

Wow, you really had to deal with some winners back then huh? Well, you dont now. What are you going to prove by going? That you can stick it out for an evening with a bunch of vile, self-righteous busy-bodies with a grin on your face? Go out with your husband instead. If you have a group of friends you truly enjoy being with, invite them over or go to dinner with them. Life is too short to spend with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Why put yourself through the misery? And, sounds like these are not the type of people that will recognize their faults and apologize, so its not like you are going to get any kind of satisfaction from spending the evening with them. I wouldnt go to my reunions either, simply bc I dont have any attachment to the people I went to school with-and thats all they are-people you were in the same grade with. They are not your family, not your friends, you have no obligation to them and I doubt any issues would be resolved. Keep in mind, they will likely just piss you off further at this function lol. Enjoy your evening elsewhere!

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (61,458)
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6/30/12 10:38 A

I ask you this:

What do you hope to gain from going?

Do you have someone you want to see? Why are you going, if you haven't enjoyed them in the past, and dread this one? Is there some benefit to going that outweighs the negatives?

If not... skip it. I go to my reunions because I enjoy it, and see old friends. I have no drama. If I had drama on your level?I wouldn't bother. My husband doesn't go to his, either. He has no emotional attachment to the people there, and there's no reason to bother. It's not like you get special participation points for going. ;)

BUBRA007 SparkPoints: (14,384)
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6/30/12 10:03 A

I had very few friends in high school, I was never part of a group or click, so reunions never seemed worth my time/energy/money to attend. I'm sure NOBODY would have remembered me! LOL. However, I went to my hubby's 20 yr reunion with him a few years ago and had a blast. I liked hearing all the stories about him from his old friends. He was very popular and a class clown though, so everyone knew him. If you feel strongly about going, and will regret it if you don't go, you definitely shouldn't let it pass. Have a good time, and if nothing else, point out all the morons to your hubby :)

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (200,147)
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6/30/12 6:58 A


Goodness, but there are plenty of busy bodies in your town ! Nope, I agree with the others. GO to your high school reunion with your head held up high !! Seriously, these people have no business throwing stones in glass houses. I can assure you that the Melvins of the world are no saints either. none of us are. That's why you can't let their spiteful gossip get the better of you.

Some people really need better things to do with their time. You go and enjoy the high school reunion. You know what you'll see ? A bunch of middle aged men who are balding and have that middle aged spread. You're going to see middle aged women with lots of winkles and sagging body parts. Believe me, none of them are in a position to be making comments. That's why you can't let them get the better of you because they aren't better than you.

You be better than them !

Go enjoy the reunion. Just have fun. forget the Melvins of the world.

ALLISONAZ SparkPoints: (27,445)
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6/30/12 6:51 A

Go, hold your head up high, and know that you are better than they are! This reminds me of the quote "when people are trying to bring you down, it means that you are above them". You are better than them, and when you go to your reunion and act confident and unaffected, they will realize how much better than them you are. And they will also realize that they haven't changed since high school.... they're still insecure jerks you pride in hurting others.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,376
6/30/12 2:00 A

I have yet to have a reunion (graduated in 2004) but I always told myself that it would be a healing experience. To face those who made fun of me, or said stupid things to me and to know that I'm better off...that would be the ultimate healing.
You can get passed the gossip, and the stupid high school behaviors. You're not in high school anymore, and ignoring it will show that you're better than that.

IWANT2SLEEP SparkPoints: (0)
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6/29/12 11:01 P

I wouldn't go. If you hated these people then why would you want to see them now? I never go to my reunions and not because I detested anyone but because I just have no desire to go. So, unless you have some overwhelming desire to go or you feel like you would regret not going, why waste your time?

KATEM200 Posts: 745
6/29/12 10:59 P

Just go. You're not in high school any more. Spending time around people you knew when you were younger is not a good reason for them or you to revert to childish behaviors. They should be past gossip and hurtful rumors, and you should be past letting that crap affect you. It sounds like your husband loves you and thinks you're great. That won't change because of anything that happens at the reunion. If anything, he'll be proud and respect you more for facing your fears. As for people not recognizing you, just introduce yourself, including how they might remember you (e.g. I think my locker was right next to yours.). Remember that everyone ages, and most people are probably nervous about talking to former classmates who remember them as younger, thinner, etc. They might be really relieved if you help break the ice. And if someone was mean to you in high school or generally a bully, they might be ashamed of who they used to be. They might be standing with their spouse, worried that someone will point out what a jerk they were in high school.

6/29/12 9:37 P

I hated high school. Almost every single misbegotten moment of it. When my ten year reunion rolled around, I was pregnant with my first child. When the person, let's call him "Melvin" to protect the moronic, called to invite me, he asked after my kid. I was shocked that Melvin even knew I was pregnant and commented on his research. His answer? "Oh. I didn't know you were pregnant. I meant the one you have in high school that you passed off as your brother." Even ten years out of school, I was the subject of unjust gossip. (For the record, he is my brother. He is adopted. His biological mother, although barely older than I, is not and has never been me. Thanks for all the support high school community.)

So I swore I'd never go to a reunion. Fast forward to this one, where my husband asked what I was afraid of. I decided to show him and be brave. The meet and greet was tonight. It was a poorly planed and executed event but no one recognized me. I walked past the festivities, made eye contact with people who I knew their names but no recognition.

I'm devastated. Would I be a coward not to attend my reunion tomorrow? I don't know that I can stand all those people who found me so insignificant as to not even remember my face.

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