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SSTENFORS Posts: 167
9/30/12 12:17 A

This is a very powerful thing to do for each other. My husband and I did this several years ago. All of his were about things I make (food of course) or do for him except for one. All of mine were emotional connections or things he had gone out of his way to do in the past that made me feel special that are still very special to me. I have a great husband. He is my very best friend. emoticon

IZZY63 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/22/12 10:20 P

Yay! Someone included friendship!!!!!

IZZY63 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/22/12 10:20 P

Yay! Someone included friendship!!!!!

IZZY63 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/22/12 10:18 P

Yay! Someone included friendship!!!!!

IZZY63 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/22/12 10:17 P

Yay! Someone included friendship!!!!!

CD7334968 Posts: 49
9/20/12 12:05 P

Shared Goals
Respect
Honesty
Enjoying each others company
Active and healthy sex life
Faithfulness
Communication
Empathy
Loyalty
Friendship


MRSALLYP SparkPoints: (0)
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9/20/12 8:53 A

I think I would agree with FRUITLOOP740 and for me there is no order, without all of that things would crumble!!

CM.ANDREA Posts: 126
9/19/12 4:13 P

Wonderful lists! But I like PIKA's!

FRUITLOOP740 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/17/12 3:07 P

my list : I've been married almost 4 years...

1. trust
2. sex
3. be there for each other in times of need
4. communication
5. humor
6. family time
7. honesty
8. love
9. respect
10. help around the house

no particular order but this is what came to mind.

ARIMIETTA SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 84
9/17/12 10:32 A

We just celebrated our 20th year anniversary and I can only think of one thing:

A sense of humor.




-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 15,122
9/17/12 9:56 A

PIKA1319 - I AGREE!!!!!

PIKA1319 Posts: 142
9/14/12 9:18 P

It looks like a lot of people named similar things (trust, respect, etc.). Is it mainly women on this thread? I haven't read the whole thing. I wonder what a man's list would look like?

I would be happy with simple obedience! Just tired of getting backtalk every time he's asked to do something not "fun" (you know, like chores, work, adult responsibilities)...

MJREIMERS Posts: 7,529
9/5/12 11:02 P

1. trust
2. respect
3. love
4. friendship
5. flexibility
6. support
7. partnership
8. committed
9. communication
10. time for each other

MICHELLEFROST SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 2,073
9/1/12 4:27 A

1 respect
2 love
3 commitment
4 trust
5 support
6 friendship
7 making love
8 hobbies
9 time apart
10 time together

emoticon

STLCARDSFANS05 Posts: 920
8/7/12 9:02 A

love
both partners are committed
great exploratory sex and often (keeps you connected on another level)
COMMUNICATION...wide open not judgemental communication
support of eachothers goals
similar core values
respect
physical attraction (keeping yourself attractive for your spouse and your self)
hand holding and snuggling
lots of kissing...real kissing. more is communicated thru a kiss than one realizes

HOLLYM48 Posts: 27,338
8/5/12 9:07 A

Commitment
Love
Trust
Honor
Respect
Passion
Open Communication
Support
BEST FRIEND- I know my husband is mine!
The ability to argue with respect- never saying things you will regret later.
The person you see yourself growing old with and enjoying every minute of it.

JODNEX Posts: 1,822
8/3/12 10:33 P

communication humor humility respect selflessness romance commitment

honoring the relationship... making each other a priority

keeping your individualism and your time apart

So many important ingredients!



CD11127884 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/3/12 6:57 P

I think that for me it is forgiveness, honesty, time alone, time alone with each other, compassion, God and prayer, communication, trust, fidelity and making memories!!

FITGRANDMA145 Posts: 4,934
7/22/12 8:23 P

1. JESUS
2. Bible
3. Prayer
4. Friendship
5. Laughter
6. Goodwill
7. Trust
8. Privacy
9. Fidelity
10. FORGIVENESS

MSMOSTIMPROVED SparkPoints: (39,430)
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Posts: 896
7/21/12 5:44 P

I am a firm believer that married people should do their own thing!!!! What works for me may work for you or not!!!! best wishes on finding your magic formula.....

RKMHOYLE SparkPoints: (33,547)
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Posts: 101
7/21/12 9:09 A

Love
Laughter
Faith
Respect
Patience
Admiration
Sex
Caring
Concern
Friendship

DGEOGHEGAN Posts: 448
7/20/12 4:45 P

Humor
Romance
Trust
Faith
Friendship
Time
Patience
Attention
Admiration
Affection


DPOWERS18 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,244
7/18/12 6:31 P

Communication
Logic
Acceptance
Trust
Humor
Friendship
Cooperation
Intimacy
Respect
Openness

MSMOSTIMPROVED SparkPoints: (39,430)
Fitness Minutes: (30,551)
Posts: 896
7/18/12 5:45 P

There is no one size fits all (thank goodness)!!

LJ32920 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/18/12 5:41 A

1. Having the same life goals or religion. This is the background upon which you base most of your decisions. If you differ on this basic level, there is not much chance of compromise.
2. Knowing that you won't understand each other at first, you can't make assumptions. You will both think different things when you hear the word "apple", much less any complicated ideas. For the first couple years you need to check that you understand or were understood. Repeat things back using different words, don't think you can read minds. Everyone does not think the same way you do, even if they come to the same conclusions.
3. Make sure you can tolerate the same levels of friends, privacy or lack of, visitors, relatives, etc. and how much alone time you each need.
4. Be sure you have the same comfort levels of organization and cleanliness.
5. Talk before you marry about how often you need sex and just how diverse your desires are.
6. Talk before you marry about whether to have children and when and how many.
7. Talk about your expectations concerning wage-earning, changing jobs, moving house, etc, and what parts of the country you could not be happy living in and why.
8. Decide ahead of time what traits and habits you want to instill in your children and how to accomplish that, because there will be compromises you'll have to make.
9. Make sure you both have the same view of marriage: is it a permanent or a serial relationship? Is it possible to have friends of the opposite sex who are simply friends? Do either of you get jealous? Do either of you demand control over the other's activities?
10. Be sure you both have an understanding of how much trust you need. What happens if one is an hour late and didn't call, much less 15 minutes? Do you open each other's mail or wait to be invited to share? Do you need a blow-by-blow of each phone call? Is it OK to go through each other's wallet, purse, pockets? How much privacy and personal unshared thoughts do you expect? Can you have time unaccounted for without suspicions?

SWEETEYES0601 SparkPoints: (45,749)
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7/17/12 10:28 A

patience, understanding, acceptance, trust, respect, love, time together, time apart, compromise, and Sleep!

JADOMB SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1,708
7/11/12 2:53 P

Everyone pretty much covered most the areas. I have just a couple more though.

Acceptance of differences
Understanding(for clarity not necessarily for agreement)
Common spiritual beliefs(this is where acceptance of differences may fail)
Togetherness(especially when children come into the picture)

HEATHERRAMSEY2 Posts: 16
7/10/12 9:28 P

1. COMMUNICATION!
2. Love
3. Consideration
4. Respect
5. Faith
6. Laughter
7. Passion
8. Trust (this should be #1)
9. Touch! -this could be holding hands ;)
10. Happiness

CD8469898 Posts: 41
6/28/12 2:34 P

1. Faith
2. Trust
3. Love
4. Joy
5. Determination
6. Communication
7. Cooperation
8. Togetherness
9. Belief
10. Music

LNTSMOM Posts: 72
6/27/12 9:38 A

1. God
2. Love
3. Trust
4. communication
5. spending alone time together
6. show him you love him
7. don't worrying over the little things
8. healthy balance
9. praise him
10. forgiveness

HEALTHYHEATHER4 Posts: 24
6/27/12 8:40 A

All these ideals/lists are wonderful.

1. Love - should guide you first and foremost
2. Trust in your spouse
3. Acceptance of your spouse's abilities
4. Communication with all major decisions
5. Togetherness - celebrate your marriage
6. Belief - shared spiritual and daily beliefs
7. Have an open mind - don't judge
8. Health - stay healthy for yourself and family
9. Goals - common goals and ideals
10.Chores - help each other with the keeping and caring of your home

LISADAWN1312 Posts: 288
12/2/11 3:47 P

1. Trust
2. Friendship
3. Love
4. Respect
5. Communication
6. Humour
7. Appreciation of each other
8. Kindness even when you do not feel it
9. Touching - All physical Contact, Holding hands, hugging etc
10. Have Fun Don't take every thing so serious...Laugh a lot

EOINIE Posts: 19
12/1/11 2:22 P

Nice lists :)

HEIDISMITH1983 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 44
11/28/11 12:01 A

1. trust
2. communication
3. respect
4. kindness
5. sex
6. time apart
7. self confidence
8. having fun
9. patience
10. never take life to seriously

PAULINE1123 Posts: 13,683
11/25/11 8:54 A

COMMUNICATION {KEY}

TRUST (MUTUAL)

RESPECT VERY IMPORTANT

LOVE MUST HAVE IN SOME SORT OF WAY

HONESTY HAND IN HAND WITH TRUST

HUMILITY HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO RECEDE SOMETIMES

LOTS OF SEX {GREAT WAY TO MAKE-UP, STRESS RELEASE, BRINGS YOU TOGETHER IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE, JUST GOOD}

FRIENDSHIP (GREAT PILLOW TALKERS) MY KIDS SAY WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING THEN

DEFINITELY PATIENCE

UNITY (THAT IS WHY WE ARE MARRIED)



MISTYMARIE9 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 16
11/24/11 8:30 P

1. Love
2. Commitment
3. Respect
4. Appreciation
5. Communication
6. Humor
7. Attraction
8. Friendship
9. Common "interests"/individual "interests"
10. Security

These were mentioned earlier and I just couldn't find any better way to put it. One thing I've learned is to give without any expectations. I've learned to give because it's right to do and feels good as well but that came later. ;-)

ONESPARROWFLIES Posts: 120
11/24/11 8:56 A

1. having similar values
2. a compatible lifestyle and goals
3. balancing time together and apart
4. paying attention to each other and the relationship
5. showing love
6. good chemistry
7. appreciating each other
8. both taking responsibility (for home/money/relationship/health/feelings/be
havior/etc.)
9. keeping in mind each other's needs and wants
10. maintaining personal boundaries

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 15,122
11/23/11 9:41 A

VERY well said Buffed!!

CD8127967 Posts: 2,520
11/22/11 8:31 P

Having your own life not clinging to me for happiness
emoticon
Continuing to grow and develop, give me something new emoticon
Intimacy, romance and adventure on a regular basis emoticon
Sharing the same faith, unity builds a house division destroys emoticon
Support you back me up in being all that I can be and I will do the same for you emoticon
emoticon Honesty tell me the truth but tell me gently

emoticon Unconditional love and
emoticon Mutual respect

emoticon Passion, never stop dating, take nothing for granted
emoticon And laughter, making memorable moments together turning everyday activities into wow moments.
My spouse has rocked my world since I was 18 but I never allow him to every catch me I just keep on reinventing myself..Men can be such awesome creatures, you have to love em.

MJREIMERS Posts: 7,529
11/22/11 6:09 P

1. Love
2. Commitment
3. Respect
4. Appreciation
5. Communication
6. Humor
7. Attraction
8. Friendship
9. Common "interests"/individual "interests"
10. Security

My husband and kids helped on these.

CHINSAFER Posts: 8
11/22/11 6:01 A

Common Goals - for the big stuff. There's lots of room for compromise with the little stuff, but you should both honestly agree on things like, how many kids do we want, do we share a common religion, how will the work of living be divided between us?
It may sound somewhat unromantic right now, but these things will be very important in the long run - and we're all assuming you're in it for the long haul.

Edited by: CHINSAFER at: 11/22/2011 (06:02)
JILLITA55 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 4,055
11/21/11 10:23 A

Always remember your spouse is your best friend!

MUMMYUK2 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 763
11/21/11 10:21 A

• Love
• Trust
• Respect
• Communication
• Humor
• Patience
• Gratitude
• Compromise
• Compassion
• Honesty


AJC_80 Posts: 1,571
11/21/11 6:55 A

HONESTY
Love
Kindness
Appreciation
Compromise
Fairness
Communication

That's only seven, but I've only had one cup of coffee :)

-POLEDANCEGIRL- Posts: 15,122
11/14/11 5:07 P

Respect, communication. honesty, humor, faithfulness, compromise, gratitude, playfulness, support, individual hobbies

CLOBBERELLA Posts: 521
11/12/11 1:38 P

Love
Trust
Respect
Communication
Honesty
Faithfulness
Humor
Support
Compromise
Gratitude




LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 30,971
11/11/11 9:59 A

Communication, respect and love are tops in my book!

KRISTINA1709 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 8
11/11/11 9:09 A

Compromise

X5X52000 Posts: 6,016
11/10/11 7:20 P

1-10 communication

JENNY_BILLOT Posts: 1,634
11/10/11 5:54 P

So my husband suggested we write down the 10 most important things to us in our marriage. If you were writing a list for your spouse, what would be on your list?

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