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Toxic "Friends" - Let Them Go, Give Yourself Permission--It Is Okay, I Promise!

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Letting go of toxic "friends" is just as important as surrounding yourself with positive people. All it takes is that one person that will delight in the back handed compliment or saying cutting or disparaging things. It is OKAY to distance yourself, in fact, you NEED to keep the negativity away.

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Friends are supportive and kind and want the best for you. Your happiness makes them happy. Hugs to all of you that have someone toxic in your life. I'm slowly detaching myself from them and wish for all of you the strength and ability to do the same.
- Submitted by SAVANNAHJESSICA 4/23/2010 in Staying Positive | 10 Comments
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Member Comments

DARK_ANGEL10 5/16/2010 7:57:00 PM

    I agree as we cleanse ourselves in eating right and staying healthy we also need to cleanse ourselves from negative people too.
SUNIL410 5/14/2010 6:05:00 AM

    Vewry well said! Easier said then done!
SAVANNAHJESSICA 4/25/2010 10:19:00 AM

    @Neferki, what a tough situation! I was in the same boat and after trying to talk it out on several occasions, I just limited my time with them. That isn't the best solution for everyone, but it has worked for me. Hang in there, experiment with some different coping techniques and see what works for your situation. For me it is a vague smile without a response. They aren't getting a rise out of me so it isn't "fun" anymore and since I'm not contributing verbally, the encounter usually ends pretty quickly. ;)

@Carilouie, it can be hard, but I take solace from a poem titled "Friends for a Reason, Season, or Lifetime". Google it, it provided me with a lot of clarity and it may do the same for you. :)

Hugs to all of you!!!
SAVANNAHJESSICA 4/25/2010 10:19:00 AM

    @Camper96, it sounds like they don't fall into the category of toxic friends, which I'm VERY happy for you for! :)

@TaoEnthusiast, you are absolutely right on! Thank you for clarifying! :)

@DeterminedLooser, I'm so proud of you, that takes so much strength! :)

@Mardgy, right on! I'm SO ON BOARD with that philosophy! I'm not co-dependent, but I certainly want people to be happy and feel good about themselves when they're around me. Add the Golden Rule and we're kindred spirits! :)
CARILOUIE 4/24/2010 5:52:00 AM

    It's hard to let go of friends, but sometimes they are only in our lives for a short amount of time for a reason. I try to look back and remember the positive times.
DETERMINEDLOSER 4/24/2010 12:42:00 AM

    I had a friend that I had to distance myself from and I feel so much better for it. I don't know if I would consider her toxic, although she always seemed to have hurtful comments and wouldn't respect my boundaries.
TAOENTHUSIAST 4/24/2010 12:22:00 AM

    I couldn't agree more with the idea of letting toxic friends go. While I agree with Camper96 to a point, a toxic friend isn't just a someone who gets snippy or irritable occasionally. They are the individuals who take things out on you, who try to make you feel small, who disrespect you and make no apologies for doing so, even when you ask or try to talk things out with them. When the bad times overshadow the good times, it's time to let go and move on.
NEFERKAI 4/23/2010 11:28:00 PM

    Its a shame we can't get rid of toxic family members as easily, but alas thats life.
MARDGY 4/23/2010 11:27:00 PM

    I so agree with this point and I try to give as much positive remarks to counteract with the negativity that is shared. I learned a long time ago that "if you do not have anything good to say keep it to yourself" and I live by this. Another thing that I live by is "to each his own".
CAMPER96 4/23/2010 11:10:00 PM

    I think everyone has some faults. I wouldn't consider them toxic because they don't conform to the way I would like them to be. I accept my friends with their faults as they accept me with mine. If they were mean to me all the time that might be different. Everyone can't be upbeat and jolly all the time either. We all have our depressive moods, if you couldn't talk to your friends about it, that would be sad. I hope I'm not the only one that feels this way. emoticon

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