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Wanting to look a particular way or fit into a particular dress size might jumpstart your journey, but it's not enough to carry you through 18 months of losing a pound a week. Find the reasons to get healthy besides your appearance that really matter to you and remind yourself of them every day. Whether you're doing it for your diabetes, your God, or your kids, when you make it bigger than your vanity, you're more likely to succeed.
No matter what, never beat yourself up about something you've eaten. Ever. Doing so will pull you into a negative cycle of self abuse. You've eaten it, for whatever reason, whatever it was it's done and you can't change that. But what you can do is change your reaction to having eaten it. Rather than beat yourself up, be compassionate with yourself and that will get you into a more positive state of mind so you can move on.
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