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Selfishness And Stubborness

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my keys to success have been - being selfish enough to care about myself and put myself first, and being stubborn enough to stick to my plan and with my goals to ensure my success

- Submitted by SHIPESTA 3/25/2010 in Weight Loss | 41 Comments
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JIBBIE49 3/25/2010 2:02:00 PM

    I'm reading the book "The BECK Diet Solution" which isn't a "diet" but Dr. Beck, a psychologist teaches how to THINK like a THIN person. She says that if you can't schedule your life so you have TIME for your diet and at least 5 minutes of exercise each day, that you need to look at your THINKING. What your saying is just what she means: you need to be important enough to have time for YOU. emoticon
NHAEFELE 5/15/2010 11:35:00 AM

    My 19 year old tells me that I have become "self centered". She is not comfortable with me finally putting myself first. And guess what - I don't care! This is my life now and I am going to do what is best for me. She will thank me when she realizes that she won't be attending my funeral as early as she would have otherwise.
SUNRISE14 3/25/2010 3:16:00 PM

    I have decided if i don't take care of me no one else will and i can't help anyone if i don't put me first! emoticon
JOYTORJ 10/17/2010 8:10:00 AM

    There is an old saying that what we call Stubborn in women is known as Strong willed in men. Yes sexist but an element of truth in that we women sometimes use negative words to express what could be put in a more positive light. Yes I too would put my children before me in most things, but looking after my health is not selfish if it means that I am healthier to look after them.
PEGGIET 5/26/2010 1:32:00 PM

    Selfishness and stubbornness are two things we are taught are character flaws. When it comes to a weight loss program, they are essential - a sort of self-nurturing self-preservation kicks in and becomes self-motivating. I love this secret. I never did learn to not be stubborn and selfish,and they are both helping me stick with my plan.
BURRITAELITA 4/17/2010 6:51:00 PM

    It seems selfish, but it's really a gift to others to model healthy behaviors. People are watching, and when the weight starts to drop, they may be asking!
JUSTDOIT46 7/7/2011 11:22:00 PM

    Instead of using words like "selfish" or "stubborn" why not use the expression, "taking care of yourself". If you don't take care of yourself, you are not much use to anyone else. Exercise time for me is non-negotiable. Without daily exercise, I will not stay on track. It is key for me.
BUTTERFLY363 5/3/2010 9:34:00 AM

    I really liked this secret, sometimes as parents we forget that we actually are seperate people from our kids or spouse, we are so concerned with their health and wellbeing that we forget about our own, and sometimes we are unable to even watch them grow up because we aren't living long enough because of our poor health habits, WE HAVE TO GET IT TOGETHER!!
FYRCOP 3/26/2010 10:40:00 AM

    I just keep my mind occupied and keep moving! I don't seem to break from my focus unless distracted. I'm one of those people who can lock in and stay locked in on something for quite some time. People call me stubborn in that respect.
DIANE7786 4/23/2010 7:17:00 AM

    I'm stubborn and selfish too! My exercise time is non-negotiable unless someone is bleeding or dying. I won't let others dictate what I choose for an occasional treat or when I have one. I don't argue when people tell me that eating junk is one of the joys of living, because looking and feeling great are two of the joys of living for me and I really prefer my food. Yes, I'm proud to be stubborn and selfish!
KNOTNICE 6/21/2011 2:05:00 PM

    good for you .. anything worth having is worth demanding
OBNURSE3 3/7/2012 9:49:00 PM

    Stubborn I have always done well....Selfish not so much! But after being married nearly 20 yrs putting my husband and four kids first without a bit of respect for doing it, it was time to lose a quick 240 lbs (ex) and become a little selfish which has brought loses (60lbs) and gains. Much happier much stronger much more insightful to what brings me joy. I am no longer lost and I have reconnected with the person I am meant to be. And the kids love the new me too!! emoticon
SHARONCASS 8/31/2011 1:16:00 AM

    I have set goals for myself, and decided I need to take charge of my health & weight to stay active for my family and stay committed to the life style change be a positive influnce in peoples lives. or even my family's lives.
BIGHAIRGAL 4/4/2011 7:42:00 PM

    As they instruct on planes-you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can take care of others. That ain't being selfish! That is basic self care.
EASYRIDER1983 1/25/2011 12:26:00 PM

    Wow, this is an excellent secret. I love it! We as women tend to put everyone before ourselves. My husband complains, where's the meat & potatoes when I make healthy meals. Too bad I tell him. This isn't a restaurant and if you don't like what I'm making, make something for yourself! I so desperately need to start being selfish. Thanks for the tip!

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NANAOFHUCK 11/5/2010 10:19:00 AM

    This comment was very helpful for me, because all my life other people have controlled me and not allowed me to be more shelfish and stubron. The words themselves sound negitive to me, but in fact when it comes to loseing weight I guess I'm going to have to learn to turn around my thinking. I've been a caretaker for most of my life. A wife and mother, then a single parent of three children, then a preschool teacher and all this time I was only thinking of others and their health and happiness. I'm learning that it's all right to think about only me getting healthy and that way others will see what a great job I'm doing for myself and want to know my secret. I need to love me a whole lot more!!
PATIPAJ 9/27/2010 1:09:00 PM

    One of my main objectives has always been to please my family and friends. It's time to please me now. Good thing I am selecting my friends from the Sparkpeople club now. I'll have to think on this being stubborn thing. I thought I was, but let someone offer me food that I shouldn't eat, and my plans just disappear. No, I haven't been the good kind of stubborn. But I will. Thanks...more than you know.
SLEEKKITTY 5/26/2010 9:02:00 AM

    It doesn't matter if others criticize you for your healthy eating or habits. I have been called "The Food Nazi" by a few family members. HOwever, I have seen some change in them as they have seen how successful I have been. ONe of them lost a lot of weight recently, and I am happy for her. You never know how the critics really feel when they find out it is working for you. You go, girl.
LADYTSUNADE 5/6/2010 11:07:00 AM

    I like this being selfish & stubborn are very important in this health journey.
BECCAR6 4/16/2013 9:58:00 PM

    I have been selfish enough to start taking care of myself and stubborn enough to stick with it. Guess what? My children are now out there with me!
BLONDEE53 3/21/2013 9:46:00 AM

    I just lost my Mom to diabetes complications and a heart attack. I don't want to do that to myself!
I have a friend who's idea of "FUN" is eating out and I don't want to get in the habit of being an eating buddy...and need to practice hanging out with her...without meals being the center of our focus! I will do what I need to...to care for myself!
Thanks for this post as it helped me!
Blessings to you in your journey!
SUCCESS68 5/7/2012 9:37:00 AM

    emoticon
FUNSTYLE 1/17/2012 2:03:00 PM

    Selfishness is also good common sense- if you don't survive, how can the ones you love depend on you? Weight loss is about health, not just about vanity.
GOLFLADY11 10/13/2011 10:42:00 PM

    Why is it that when women assert themselves and say or do what they want to do which is good for them, that pans out as "selfish". We put ourselves 2nd for so long it's hard to let go. Working on this, too!
MARRIAHWIND 9/12/2011 5:10:00 PM

    Taking care of yourself is not being selfish. It is appropriate and in the best interest of all of your family members that you stay as healthy as you can. "Determined", "focused" or "tenacious" seems more positive than "stubborn". Give yourself credit for knowing what you want and being willing to go get it!
YANKEEBELLA 9/1/2011 12:04:00 PM

    I have met some other huge goals in my life such as getting my master's degree. However, weight loss goals have not been met for many years. I finally see that I have to have the self discipline and perseverance in this area to meet my goal just as I did for the other goals in my life. My children are grown, I am divorced....no excuses now....this is my time to become healthier and enjoy life to its fullest ! emoticon
DESIDERATA~GIRL 6/7/2011 12:36:00 PM

    I always felt guilty for concentrating on my weightloss and having fitness as one of my main priorities but I think I have to in order for it to work. Some people don't understand this but they will accept it eventually.
ANDY40AU 6/5/2011 1:51:00 AM

    OK if this applies to people seeking to lose weight, what does the advice become for people needing to gain it?
GOLOWER1 5/28/2011 4:12:00 PM

    Soo agree with this.. I need some selfish and stubborn back in my attitude! emoticon
HURBANO14 5/3/2011 3:13:00 PM

    i liked it
1REGINA 4/25/2011 9:53:00 AM

    I love this one! At times I feel guilty as a parent for feeling this way when it comes to me. This was nice to read. I deserve me time and will learn to be more stubborn and selfish when it comes to my health and my goals.. emoticon
DEBWA1WOK 4/2/2011 5:50:00 PM

    emoticon emoticon
SUECHRIS50 2/28/2011 1:07:00 PM

    I know what you mean!My husband pouts when i'm going exercising in the evening and i just kiss him and run.NOT feeling guilty at all!
SMILLER83 2/3/2011 10:19:00 PM

    I had to just get to the point that I would NOT eat dinner with my husband anymore... no more 10 pm dinners!! Steak & potatoes each night. I had to just get selfish enough (not easy for some people) that I said, I am not eating with you anymore... so far, this has worked to a large degree. If we do eat together, I make sure to log it on my daily totals, and measure whatever horrid thing he is eating... But, it is nice to sit down occasionally with him... and I am sure he feels the same way...
DEBBIEOLMOS57 1/6/2011 10:03:00 PM

    hello
SEQUEIRA1012 1/6/2011 2:55:00 PM

    I am with you on this one! now I just have to do it! emoticon
HJSZAKACS 11/5/2010 4:42:00 PM

    Absolutely true!
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GRAMMIE4VT1 11/2/2010 8:46:00 AM

    emoticon This is such a true statement! I needed that today!
PEGGIET 5/26/2010 1:32:00 PM

    Selfishness and stubbornness are two things we are taught are character flaws. When it comes to a weight loss program, they are essential - a sort of self-nurturing self-preservation kicks in and becomes self-motivating. I love this secret. I never did learn to not be stubborn and selfish,and they are both helping me stick with my plan.
SMILLIKEN1 5/20/2010 3:41:00 AM

    I really have found I had to do exactly that to be succesful in my goals. I tried to use the family and their lack of support for my excuse but it was only hurting me. You ave to make you a priority and the rest fits into place.
GOLDBERG73 3/25/2010 7:37:00 PM

    emoticon

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