The common theme in all these statements (and many others) is that disordered eating almost always starts out as an effort to manage feelings, thoughts, and worries that aren’t really about food and eating. Most often, they are about basic human needs like fitting in, being valued and wanted for who you are, having control over your own life, and having the power to influence how other people see and treat you.|
When these problems grow larger and persistent enough to pave the way for the development of disordered eating (or a full-blown eating disorder), it is because other factors have also conspired to make this the “path of least resistance.” It is not because the individual is stupid, defective, or incompetent.
Getting Help When You Need It
The good news is that recovering from an eating disorder is possible. You can find much better ways to deal with your original concerns or needs; you can learn the skills you need to manage difficult feelings and “thought storms” without turning to overeating or not eating. There are also effective treatments (like good nutrition and medication) for many of the biochemical problems involved.
It’s not impossible to do all or most of this on your own. There’s plenty of good information and support available from books and websites, and there are good self-help programs available.
But doing it on your own is not the easiest or fastest way, and often it's not enough. You can’t hang a picture straight on a wall when you’re right up against the wall yourself. You need someone with a different perspective to tell you when one side is higher or lower than it should to be. That’s not a reflection on you—it’s just a fact of life. The same can be true when it comes to seeing your own behaviors and attitudes clearly enough to start changing them.
These days, there are many counselors, dietitians and doctors who know a lot about disordered eating. These helpful professionals won’t pass judgment on you, but they can help you sort things out so that your decisions will help you get what you really want for yourself. If you find yourself having a hard time changing your behavior (or wanting to change), even though it is causing you problems, ask for some help.
The following online resources will help you find help in your area: