I stared at the screen and then took off some of the food so it wouldn't look as bad, I adjusted quantities, traded full-fat for fat-free, and changed and changed and changed. I put food in and then took it out again as if that would take the calories out of my body—oh, wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? Over and over I played with the food list.
After a while, I stared at the screen and I knew I was wasting my time if I didn't record what I really ate.
I couldn't stay in denial any longer, as my first "ah ha" moment bounced through my brain like a rubber ball in a small enclosed place.
I ate too much.
It was as simple as that, I thought. I need to learn to control my portions and control the number of calories I eat.
I thought of how much I weighed that morning—205 pounds. More than I had ever weighted in my life. Every month I seemed to put on another pound or two, until a week ago I had to break down and buy a size-18 dress for Easter brunch. Buying that size had been such a shock. I still thought of myself as a size 5 or 7. But I wasn't that size anymore. I hadn't been in about eight years.
I've always been a good planner and scheduler. It's one of my strengths. I decided that I was going to take the time to PLAN my food a day early and then stick with my plan. Again, a simple thought, but then no one ever said eating healthy was complicated.
That night and every night since, I have created my food plan for the next day. I scheduled three meals and two to three snacks for work. Worked to ensure that there were at least two fruit and two veggies and two dairies every day. I also vowed I would drink my 8 glasses of water BEFORE I drank a single coke.
I've stuck to my plan like cement glue to paper. If I wanted to eat something not on my plan, I went to the computer and adjusted the food before a crumb crossed my lips. If I could eat it and stay within my calories, fat, and carbs then I would eat it. If not, I wouldn’t.
It was hard at first. Planning my food. Drinking my water. But it became easier over the weeks. It took almost three weeks for me to drink 8 glasses of water in a day. By the time I managed to do it, I no longer craved the cokes.