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The only diet shake I recommend is the shake your booty makes when you exercise.

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Pulling open the bag and chewing all the chips burns more calories than leaving the bag on the shelf! I think he's spending too much time with the kids. It's not a rash, it's moss. You need to start being more active than a tree. If my math is correct, we only gained 0.000976521 pounds per second on our cruise.
I pay you five pebbles a session to be my personal trainer, but all we ever do is swim! Sorry, I've got a huge carb craving and there's nothing in the kitchen but meat and cheese! We don't have a diet menu, but for $3.99 you can lick the stains off a tablecloth. You know you're a SparkPeople member when you try to pay in SparkPoints at the supermarket.
How come nobody else thinks I'm as wonderful as my dog does? Our bodies store fat so we can survive during times when the supermarket is closed. You know you're a SparkPeople member when you can have an entire conversation about emoticons. I printed your diet with a large font to make the portions look bigger.

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