SparkPeople Funnies

They say kids these days are overweight because we don't get enough vigorous exercise. Maybe we should chew faster!

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You know you are a SparkPeople member when the scale is your friend and not your foe. I was going to get up early to go running, but my toes voted against me 10 to 1. I'm trying to squeeze 30 minutes of exercise into my daily schedule. Today I took 120 fifteen-second walks. I only lost one pound before I quit my diet. But if I can do that 50 times, I'll lose 50 pounds! My friend Molly lost 6 pounds eating nothing but rawhide, tennis balls, and squeaky rubber pork chops!
It's a pacemaker for your heart, plus you can download apps for your liver, kidneys, lungs, and pancreas! Care for some freshly-ground fiber on your cheese fries? I can't change my height. I can't change my eye color. I can't change the size of my feet. What makes you think I can change my weight? Your new pacemaker includes a Pac-Man game that gobbles up the cholesterol in your arteries! I'm prescribing a diet patch to repair the leak in your willpower
I've always had a problem with authority figures. I even argue with my control-top pantyhose. My doctor told me to find an activity I like and do it for at least 30 minutes a day. Watching TV is an activity I like!

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