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They say kids these days are overweight because we don't get enough vigorous exercise. Maybe we should chew faster!

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Licking your paws is just the first step. After that, you need to use a good antibacterial body wash, then an exfoliating herbal facial scrub, followed by avocado moisturizing cleanser… The 4 basic food groups are stuff that will make me fat, stuff that will make me sick, stuff that will kill me, and stuff that I'll eat anyway. That's why you've never seen an overweight mime. They pretend to eat pizza, they pretend to eat candy, they pretend to eat ice cream… I'm incognito. I lost 20 pounds, and I don't want it to find me again! I'm eating twice as many vegetables as I used to!... Two times nothing is still nothing!
I'm the Workout Fairy. I'm here to tighten your abs! I try to eat at least 100 grams of fat per meal. I'm building up my immunity to cholesterol. Someplace hot enough to melt fat the moment I step on to the beach! If dieting and exercise make us hungry, then the key to weight loss is eating and napping! I had my plumber install new pipes. I got tired of fretting about my cholesterol!
To break through a weight-loss plateau, increase your walking to 40 hours a day, 9 days a week. All I want to do is lie around all day. This isn't helping.

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