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They say kids these days are overweight because we don't get enough vigorous exercise. Maybe we should chew faster!

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Spend more time outside with your dog. Teach him how to throw a stick for you to chase. If your gym membership is $37.50 per month, that means you're paying $262.50 per workout! You have bad handwriting. I thought 'diet and exercise' said 'beer and pizza'. Stop smoking, quit drinking, eat less, exercise more! Are you some kind of health nut?
You are what you eat. If you want to reach a ripe old age, eat a lot of brown bananas. Did your doctor say 'eat more fish' or 'eat fish more often'? My doctor is sitting two rows behind me! Do you sell chocolate-covered fish oil capsules? Lose some weight, quit smoking, move around more, and eat the carrot.
The good news is, you're the healthiest person I've seen all day. The bad news is, you're the healthiest person I've seen all day. Your thighs are so thin! What's your secret? Yoga? Pilates? Cardio? Liposuction? You have a rare condition called 'good health'. Frankly, I'm not sure how to treat it. You can enjoy diabetes, high cholesterol and hypertension or you can suffer from good health.

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