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Great excuses for cheating on your diet $1.00

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Obesity is a symptom of modern technology. Your mouth has a broadband connection to the nutrition superhighway. My diet says I can have 1800 calories per day. It doesn't say anything about NIGHT! This magazine says we can lose 50 pounds in a week by eating chocolate cake three times a day. Finally, a diet that makes sense! You know it's time to improve your diet when you get carpal tunnel from dipping french fries in ketchup!
To prevent a heart attack, take one aspirin every day. Take it out for a run, then take it to the gym, then take it for a bike ride… After I lose 20 pounds, I'm moving to a new apartment. When my weight comes back, it won't know where to find me! To keep my computer healthy, I download five digital fruits and vegetables every day. My belly is a vital part of my 401 (k) plan. I may have to live off this fat when I retire!
I think he's spending too much time with the kids. It's not a rash, it's moss. You need to start being more active than a tree. If my math is correct, we only gained 0.000976521 pounds per second on our cruise. I pay you five pebbles a session to be my personal trainer, but all we ever do is swim!

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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