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Great excuses for cheating on your diet $1.00

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

Whenever your cholesterol goes too high, a sensor will send a signal that automatically locks the kitchen door and turns on your treadmill. You need strong medicine to relieve your stress. I'm prescribing a puppy. My dad is getting old and cranky. Last night at dinner, he told the wild rice to settle down. Every day I walk for 30 minutes, I drink 8 glasses of water, and I eat 5 fruits and vegetables… BUT I'M STILL GETTING OLDER!
You know you're a SparkPeople member when you sleep in your workout clothes because Coach Nicole said it would help with morning workouts. It's impossible to stick to my diet, but I get a lot of exercise beating myself up! It's normal for a man your age to have chest pains when he drips hot, melted pizza cheese on his shirt. It's different when you get older. When you're my age, visions of sugar plums dance on your thighs.
No, I don't know if the Gingerbread man was gluten-free There's a thin person inside me screaming to get out. Can you prescribe something to sedate him so I can hear my TV programs? How many packs of gum would I need to chew to burn as many calories as two miles of jogging? Dinosaurs didn't smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or eat junk food… and where are they now!?

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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