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SparkPeople Funnies

I tried all the fitness fads, but my doctor was right all along-- walking is still the best exercise.

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

Just a salad for me. A vanilla ice cream salad with hot fudge dressing and marshmallow croutons. My therapy is quite simple: I wag my tail and lick your face until you feel good about yourself again. It's easy to snack healthy at work! I get Vitamin C from coffee, Vitamin D from donuts, Vitamin B from bagels... Stop resting in peace and start getting some exercise!
Every restaurant has a computer these days. See if the chef has software to compress a 1000 calorie meal into a 200 calorie meal. For lunch I tried the Cheeseburger And Fries Diet, but that didn't work. So for dinner, I'm going to try the Lasagna and Cheesecake Diet. The round bits taste like circles, the square bits taste like squares, and the triangular bits taste like triangles. I can't drink alcohol on my low-carb diet. I'll just have a couple shots of gravy with a twist of bacon.
Step 1: apply Miracle Cellulite Cream to problem areas. Step 2: run 10 miles a day. My heart has survived 16 girlfriends, 7 fiancees and 4 ex-wives. You think my heart is afraid of a cheeseburger?! How many times must I remind you? Eight glasses a day! I don't want to download a song or a movie or a TV show or a book-- I want to download something for dinner!

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