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My body is apple-shaped and yours is pear-shaped. How can we be unhealthy if we look like a fresh fruit salad?

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More Health and Weight Loss Cartoons

The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! If swimming is so good for you, how come I've never had a goldfish live longer than three weeks? Care for some freshly-ground fiber on your cheese fries? I was going to get up early to go running, but my toes voted against me 10 to 1.
It's the latest advancement in cardiac pacemakers. It gives you an electric shock when it detects pizza or doughnuts in your bloodstream. You need to improve your diet. Instead of dandruff, you've got ice cream sprinkles! I've always been a high achiever, always striving for bigger, faster, greater… and now suddenly I'm expected to settle for lower blood pressure and less cholesterol? Which 'sensible diet' do you want me to follow? I found 123,942 of them on the internet!
Someday, son, you'll be old enough to do anything you like. But by then you'll be too tired to like anything. Cucumber slices instead of pepperoni, vinegar instead of cheese, lettuce instead of crust-- it's diet pizza! Our Quick Start gym membership comes with a free set of press-on abs! I want to turn my body into a powerful fat-burning furnace!

More Cartoons: (364 total)
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