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Great excuses for cheating on your diet $1.00

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I'd like some dry broiled fish, sliced cucumbers, and fresh mixed berries. If you don't have that, I'll take a triple bacon cheeseburger, jumbo fries and a cookie dough shake! A low carb diet is bad for you! One of my patients slipped on some bacon grease and broke her toe! My doctor is sitting two rows behind me! Do you sell chocolate-covered fish oil capsules? My doctor told me to exercise. It gave me more energy and I got more work done. The more work I did, the more mistakes I made. Then I got fired. That's why I'm suing my doctor.
I'm writing you a prescription for a daily dose of SparkPeople You can enjoy diabetes, high cholesterol and hypertension or you can suffer from good health. If I gain 20 pounds, it will give me the motivation I need to stick to my diet! Cholesterol in my veins is a good thing-- it leaves less room for germs and viruses!
I had fun, fun, fun till my doctor took the T-bone awaaaaaaaay! How come you need $150 walking shoes, but I have to do 2 miles in bare feet?! The government sent us a check. We've failed so many diets, our kitchen qualifies as a disaster area! If swimming is so good for you, how come I've never had a goldfish live longer than three weeks?

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