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I can get by on just 2 hours of sleep every day, as long as I nap for 14 hours.

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Access requires a password, retina scan, fingerprint analysys and a DNA sample. It's the best refrigerator I've ever owned! It's easy to tell the difference between good cholesterol and bad cholesterol. Bad cholesterol has an evil laugh. I toss and turn all night and you won't count that as an eight-hour aerobic workout? The doctor told my husband to double his daily exercise, so now he changes channels with both hands! I had my plumber install new pipes. I got tired of fretting about my cholesterol!
Gravity has lowered my chest, my stomach, and my butt! Why hasn't it lowered my cholesterol? My favorite vegetable is pudding. I didn't know it was a vegetable until I saw it on a salad bar. I'd like a garden salad, some fresh fruit and a slice of tofu carefully arranged to look like a cheeseburger, shake and fries. I'm having trouble finding a good exercise partner. Tom Selleck, Brat Pitt and George Clooney all have unlisted phone numbers! Swimming isn't enough. Our veterinarian says we also have to pump iron three times a week!
I love crawling, but like most forms of cardio, it's murder on the knees! Don't worry about burning the calories-- that's already been done!

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