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My doctor told me to start my exercise program very gradually. Today I drove past a store that sells sweat pants.

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My friend Molly lost 6 pounds eating nothing but rawhide, tennis balls, and squeaky rubber pork chops! Of course your arteries are clear. For 25 years, I've been adding a drop of drain cleaner to your morning coffee. They tried adding healthy snacks to the vending machines, but all that rotting fruit made the candy bars taste bad. A vegetarian diet is good for stress. If you crunch loud enough, you can't hear your kids bicker during dinner.
LDL stands for Lousy Darn Lipos and HDL stands for Hunky Dory Lipos. You're in perfect health. Wait here while I check what you should take for that. Welcome to the Weight Loss Forum. To lose one pound, double-click your mouse six million times. You haven't been taking your cholesterol medication, have you Mr. Grosshart?
I started bicycling to help me get in shape, but swallowing all those bugs made me gain weight! I don't understand how I got so fat! Doesn't tail wagging count as cardio? If you are what you eat, I'd rather be thin like a French fry than round like a head of lettuce! I joined a weight-loss support group. We meet once a week and talk each other out of dieting.

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