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One Day At a Time - Part 3

Donna Struggles to Stay on Track
  -- By SparkPeople
Couldn’t all of us use a little motivation from time to time? Recently, one member inspired everyone here at SparkPeople, and we think her story can help you too. Donna (DONNA999) may be several pounds away from her goal, but as a busy mother of two with a demanding job, she’s like so many of us—learning from mistakes, making gradual changes, seeing progress and facing pitfalls. We’re going to follow her as she uses SparkPeople to reach her goals. If you missed her first two entries, read "Donna's Ah-Ha Moment" and "Donna Slips into a Size 12" before you continue below and see where she is now!
 
6/30/05
I was looking through my workout log book the other day (which I would recommend to everyone because it's a great way to keep up with your progress) and was amazed at how far I have come since I started the beginning of March! In a little over 90 days:

  • I've gone from struggling to run 1 minute intervals to running 40 minutes.
  • I now have energy to play with my kids instead of just sitting on the couch, too exhausted to move.
  • I can now stand up from the floor without having to roll over or find something to pull myself up with.
  • I have the energy to try things I've wanted to try for years, like scuba diving and hiking.
  • I've gone from size 16/18 to size 12, and I don't feel as embarrassed about how I look.

The list goes on and on. The rewards of getting in better shape are so great that I could kick myself for not doing this earlier. Why have I waited so many years?

I guess I'm in a mushy mood this morning so you'll have to forgive me but I do want to say thank you to SparkPeople and to all my Spark buddies who have helped motivate me. I still have a lot of weight to lose, but I know I can do it with this program and with the support of my friends.
 
7/1/05
I took off work early to take the boys to the movies. I ate popcorn and a small handful of my son's M&Ms. I planned eating popcorn as one of my snacks, but the candy was a temptation I couldn't resist. Darn, I have such a sweet tooth! I scaled back on dinner to make up the difference so I didn't go over, but I don't think choosing candy over fresh green beans and salad was a very smart trade.

On the good side, today is weigh-in day and I'm down three pounds. I know it is because I've been getting in all those great runs.
 
7/8/05
Today is weigh-in day and I’ve lost two more pounds, which makes me very happy and a little surprised. I increased my calories this week and also didn't do as much exercise. Best of all, this puts me in the 160's. I'm getting so close to my halfway mark…four more pounds and I'll be there.

I took off work early to take the boys to the movies. I ate popcorn and a small handful of my son's M&Ms. I planned eating popcorn as one of my snacks, but the candy was a temptation I couldn't resist. Darn, I have such a sweet tooth! I scaled back on dinner to make up the difference so I didn't go over, but I don't think choosing candy over fresh green beans and salad was a very smart trade. On the good side, today is weigh-in day and I'm down three pounds. I know it is because I've been getting in all those great runs.  Today is weigh-in day and I’ve lost two more pounds, which makes me very happy and a little surprised. I increased my calories this week and also didn't do as much exercise. Best of all, this puts me in the 160's. I'm getting so close to my halfway mark…four more pounds and I'll be there.
 
7/13/05
I just got back from my workout with Lori, the tough and cruel trainer. She seems so nice when you talk to her but she hides a real mean streak. Moaning, grimaces, and begging for mercy don't phase her at all, she just laughs and tells me, “two more reps,” and “go slower,” and “lift the weight higher.” By the end of the session my poor wobbly arm muscles were shaking and quivering. I didn't think it was possible but this routine is much worse than the past one. Ugh! 

She took my measurements and it's nice to see the progress from the first time she measured me over 2 months ago. And best of all my percentage fat has gone from 38% down to 31%. Yahoo! I'm now in the “overweight” rather than the “obese” category, so I'm making progress. I'd be dancing if I had the energy!
 
7/22/05
I am trying to be very good, but I have to admit it has been tough. It is a real mental challenge. Last night I bet I opened the fridge and pantry about a thousand times just wanting to munch on stuff I shouldn't (darn potato chips!). I finally stomped on the bag of chips and emptied it into the trash much to the horror of my youngest son. He couldn't believe I wasted the chips like that. I keep telling myself this is not an "all-or-nothing" activity, that it is a lifestyle change, but let me tell you, it isn't helping much yet.
 
7/24/05
Yesterday was one of the toughest days I've had since I started with SparkPeople. I got up to run this morning, and I did okay at breakfast. But after that, I struggled all day not to give into temptation. I'm so close to my halfway mark and I don't understand why it is SO difficult now.
I wish I could put a padlock on the fridge door just to keep myself out. Hope I don't blow today but it's going to be tough.
 
7/28/05
Almost forgot to mention that I've had my sodium within the recommended range for almost two weeks now. It used to ride in the "almost double what was necessary" range!
 
8/3/05
I went to my pre-op meeting with the doctor yesterday. I found out I can start walking as soon as I feel up to it, but no running or weights for four to six weeks and no scuba for six weeks!   I don't know if I can last that long. I'm worried I'll gain back weight and I don't want to be forced to re-lose the same pounds.
 
8/7/05
I hadn't seen my parents for a month, and both were shocked yesterday at how much better I look. A lot of it was wearing clothing that fit rather than billowed around me in a vain attempt to hide the rolls of fat.

My mom is such a bad influence on me. I am a "big" girl and am responsible for my own decisions, so when my mom excuse is out of the way, I have to admit that I'm weak. I was very bad yesterday. We went out to eat Mexican food last night and I went WAY over my calories for the day. Have y'all realized how much exercise it takes to burn 500 calories?

I did have good news when I got on the scale Friday: down two more pounds. So now I'm at 163 pounds, almost into the 150s. Hurray!
 
8/15/05
The doctor said the surgery went well, of course I can't remember. One minute they were putting an IV in my arm, and the next thing I remember, they were waking me up and it was over. Those knockout drugs are wonderful. I stayed in the hospital three nights and then went home. I still can't drive or exercise much but I'm feeling more normal now.

Today is the first day of school for the boys and I have to "walk" down to the school to pick up my youngest. The walk will be a little over a mile there and back so it will be my first real exercise since the surgery.
 
8/22/05
The scale hasn't moved either direction, but I know I'm eating way too much so it’s going to move the wrong direction very soon if I don't get back into control.

You would think there would be more time to do things since I'm still off work but it is actually the opposite. I find myself running errands, picking up and dropping off kids, cleaning…okay, I also shop, eat lunch with my friends, and read way too much.

I decided that I'm going to start again today, logging in at least once a day to track my food and also to add "real" exercise back into my week. I have walked some, but not as much as I should have. I'm going to try running tomorrow morning, even if I can only go a few minutes at a time. Time to stop goofing off and get serious again. I do want to reach my weight goal by Christmas. This year when they take family pictures I don't want to have to worry about maneuvering to the back of the group so I won't be seen.
 
9/7/05
Well, I weighed on Sunday and had a huge shock…I'm back up to 161. Ugh! I don't know about you, but as long as I don't see the numbers on the scale then I don't have to acknowledge how much I weigh. This is exactly how I got to be over 200 pounds. I'm glad I finally forced myself to get on the scale but it was a real downer seeing the results of the week.

I seriously considered giving up because this isn't easy and the past few weeks have shown me that I'm going to have to exercise and watch what I eat for the rest of my life. If I stop exercising, I'm going to gain weight. If I eat too much, I'm going to gain weight. Every pound takes such effort to lose and I still have 36 pounds to chisel away to reach my goal.

It would be so much easier to "give up" and let my weight roll back to where it wants to go, as if I don't have any control and it is out of my hands.

But then I pulled out the pair of size 18 jeans that I saved, and put them on just so I could remember what it felt like to carry the weight I've lost so far. It made me remember how little energy I had, how hard it was to sleep at night, how I hated to shop for clothing. I remember having trouble squashing into airline seats and theater seats and the mortification I felt when one of our folding sports chairs broke when I sat down on it.

So I decided that I'm not going to give up. I started work again this week so I'm forcing myself to get back into the routine of tracking, posting, and exercising.

I set my alarm yesterday and got up in time to run. I ran two miles, slower than ever but at least I was moving. Today I'm going to go to the work gym and do my weights. So I'm back on the right track. Hopefully it can become a habit again…


Read more from "Donna’s Journal".