I know that I am worth something..I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Sometimes, though, life kicks me in the teeth and I suffer from a bad bout of I am soooo stupid! That happened last night..I found out something quite by accident, or divine guidance, that totally unhinged me. Discovering that I had been made a fool of left me feeling full of doubt in my ability to discern the basic character of a real close person to me which in turn made me feel betrayed and stupid beyond belief, and wondering if I ever get anything right or just ride a tide of oblivious denial to reality.
I know God gave me a big, loving, forgiving heart. I know that I want to be forgiven and not harshly judged. What is hard for me to understand is: am I that gullible and blind? How do I deal with the issue, which I have a right to deal with, and not belittle the person or myself, OR my God?
This morning forgiving the person came, apologizing to God for my behavior and asking for His forgiveness for my attitude I did, letting the person know that I do love them, I have done. Now, how do I deal with the feelings of insecurity and self-berating and trust issues?
- 11/4/2013 9:26:32 AM