I never lie, eventually you will get caught in it. I just say no thank you, I prefer not to eat it. If they push, I repeat no thank you. They will learn eventually and others around will tell you it was the right thing to do. It's my body and my tastebuds and there is no place in my vocabulary as a little white lie. LIES are always BLACK in my book. I was raised that way and very grateful to be honest .
10/21/2012 12:25:30 PM
I have this situation right now! A friend (sometimes a "frenemy" but that's another issue" made plans to see me tomorrow because we both have a day off. She suggested Red Lobster and I declined, because I'm following WW and I'm not going out to eat as much as before and trying to cook dinners myself until I get a better understanding of portions, ways of cooking, calories, etc. My willpower is not very good so I know what to stay away from. I suggested she come to my apartment and I'll make lunch(I'm a good cook) and then we can go for coffee somewhere and talk. She kept pushing Red Lobster, saying "it's only 1 day", "what's diet!", etc. She's slim and has never had a weight problem. I finally got angry and cancelled our plans because she wouldn't budge. Oh well.
I frequently refuse food, not because of my weight problem, but because I eat no meat, fish, dairy products or eggs, on principle. I simply say that I'm a vegan and don't eat animal products. People rarely ask me why. I'm longing for someone to do so, as I'd love to be totally honest with them and say that exploiting animals in any way is immoral, barbaric, disgusting and obscene. But I'm usually too much of a wimp!
A year and a half ago I was diagnosed as a type II diabetic. Recently, at a friend's 60th birthday celebration I was asked several times to have a piece of cake. I politely declined each time. At one point I was told "go ahead, nobody will know". My response was "nobody will know, except my glucose meter in two hours". That seems to have finally got the message across. I think most people have good intentions, but forget that others may have some medical or weight issues. I am proud of the fact that I have lost 56 pounds!
What happened to a simple NO thank you and leave it at that? Maybe it's just me but it's not me that would be considered rude if I don't want to eat, it's others that try and push things on me. My friends know I just lost a ton of weight and as such they make jokes that I am getting too skinny (I can't afford to lose anymore) but they would never ever ever be so rude as to put food on my plate or push me past the point I have said no. Guess my friends and I are all too busy actually socializing rather than nosing into what others are and aren't eating.
I went to an early Halloween party last nite and it was a potluck of yummy foods. I had two meatballs, a teaspoon of a cheesy taco dip with 4 small scoop chips, a hot dog "finger" and 1/4th of a piece of cake. No biggie and I surely didn't gain 10 pounds due to eating a little of food that's not my norm. I didn't lose weight to totally deny myself of "forbidden foods" til the day I die but I also am ever conscious of stuffing myself and eating bad foods every day.
10/21/2012 9:16:37 AM
I've had friends come to my home with their own food, because they have to lose weight for health reasons. They tell people that they cannot eat "x, y or z" because of doctors orders. I know that some "food pushers" feel offended when guests don't/won't eat and they are wrong to do what they do. It seems to me that the best message to send the food pusher - as politely as possible - is that your physical health must be a priority even in a social setting. And, for me personally...I try a bit of everything on the table and then I'm usually not able to eat any more. If I didn't allow myself the luxury of sampling foods (all foods), I would never stay on track...but I respect the discipline and choices of others.
I do not like the suggestions that are lies, "white" or not. The others are interesting.
I like the food dodge, "Sorry, I don't like the side effects." while patting hips. Or, I could very truthfully substitue concern for my weight and my knees, if the firstt seemed vain instead of humorous..
I'm not a fan of the lying responses. Unless it's someone you will probably never meet again. But the one suggest saying you can't stand a certain food and elaborating about how much you dislike it, what happens if that person ever does see you eating that food? You might not remember lying to that person and saying how much you hate that food, but that person will most likely remember. I think any of the honest reasons should be good enough and if someone still doesn't listen and continues to push, then you just need to get harsh with them.
Great article with good tips. It will make facing the next 2 months much easier to deal with. Thanks
10/21/2012 6:26:26 AM
I get this more at work than anyplace else. Fortunately, I work with nice people who back off when I say no thank you. I'll get a few comments that will embarrass me a bit when I say no thanks, but they aren't nasty...more along the lines of "you have so much will power."
At a previous job it was harder. I worked in an office where almost all the women were overweight...and not interested in doing anything about it at that time. I would be sure to eat breakfast and bring a healthy lunch so that I could legitimately say I was full. They tended to just put pieces of cake or donuts or brownies on my desk... Most of the time.I'd let them sit there for a while and then take them back to the serving station, although, occasionally I'd cave and eat a small bit. Very hard when you're dealing with determined food pushers...especially people who should be eating healthier themselves. They take your refusal as an insult.
10/21/2012 3:58:20 AM
I just had this experience YESTERDAY! lol. There's a lil ol' lady in our building that plies me with treats galore! She's sweet but won't take no for an answer. Yesterday she offered me pastry bites which I took and shared with three other people and she tried to offer me AND MY CAT lollipops! Those I discretely left sitting right there. I don't like the idea of lying that is brought out in this article. There are other ways..
I think the lying is only to avoid a scene. I also would rather be honest and I'm willing to make a scene if presented with an insensitive food pusher, but there are times when an apt white lie would be easier on everyone present.
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