I had one pusher who was so agressive. I told her I was going on a diet, she told me she was bringing some choc muffins next week, I told her no thanks, she brought them anyway, and I just got very honest. I told her that what she was doing was very unkind, and I did not appreciate her insistence. She backed off and said she wasn't trying to be unkind. I said "I know, but that's how it's turning out. I thank you for thinking of me, and another time I would be happy to sample one. But not now." She took it well, and did not have any resentment. Sometimes, that brutal honesty is required.
I'm with ARBAR99 - except, of course, for the smile - seems to me to be a bit of overkill and potentially insincere......
10/24/2012 12:15:48 AM
I've actually found that the more you explain, the more people try to convince you. There is less to argue about with a simple 'No Thank You' accompanied with a smile. A warm smile lets people know you appreciate their offer and are not rejecting their good intentions.
At the end of the day, it is also an opportunity for us to persuade the other party to a healthier diet!
So many of my private weight management clients are people pleasers and one thing they have a difficult time with is saying "no thank you" to someone who is pushing food because they think it will hurt someone's feelings if they don't eat it.. It is helpful to have a plan before going to an event where you know you will be tempted. Besides bringing something you know will work for you, having an immediate reward for sticking to the plan can help you stay focused on the goal of let's say having only one drink or having only one small serving of something that you might find tempting. Perhaps the reward could be purchasing flowers for yourself on the way home or the next day or purchasing a book you want to really want to read or giving yourself permission and time to take a relaxing bath. Remember, we really want to make our food choices based on eating mostly healthfully the rest of our lives and what is being pushed just may not be healthy or conducive to your sticking with what you have decided you want for yourself and it's OK to want to be healthy and to make the food choices that will get you there, no matter what anyone else wants at the moment.
I agree with the comments about honesty. I don't think a good policy is to tell lies. I often take a piece of what I am offered but don't feel a bit guilty about eating only a small amount of it and leaving the rest. But I realize this approach won't work for everyone.
OK, I just have to say that this is the most disappointing article I have ever read on Sparkpeople. Training people to lie? really???? They should pull this article and put it where it belongs, in the TRASH!!!!
No, thank you. Not right now, thank you. Anything more than that will get too far into feelings, emotions, reasons why or why not, excuses... and dare I say it... lies. In any case, don't forget the BIG SMILE - after all, refusing food when you don't want it is a perfectly natural, normal, non-judgmental thing. It's not a commentary on the food, the person offering it, or SELF. It's just saying "no."
10/22/2012 10:43:33 AM
I try to use humor when my family gets pushy or critical. A sibling accuses me of being "obsessed", I just smile & say "Everyone needs a hobby," or when mom says I need to gain weight, I jokingly say "I'll try to start eating at Burger King".. People who know me know my choices aren't a diet but about feeling better & proactive about my health. I have diabetes & high blood pressure in my family tree & don't want any part of that.
"I've turned over a new leaf, a lettuce leaf." "You know the saying, 'Once on the lips, forever on the hips'...I'm trying to get some excess off these hips." "I better not; if I got started, I wouldn't want to stop, and then I'd feel guilty, which would ruin this wonderful occasion for me. I know you wouldn't want that." "Looks great! Since I journal my food intake, would you figure how many servings the dish makes and the amount of each ingrdient it contains, and write that out for me so I can figure a way to work it into my healthy eating plan for the day?" "I'm gonna pass for now, but if I take a plate home later, I'll be sure to add some of that." "I know a lot of love went into that dish, but since I'm struggling to get control of my weight, I'm going to have to not choose that to put on my plate today." "Looks yummy, but it's a definite diet de-railer, and I want to stay on track (wink, wink).
I am NOT impressed that lying is EVER considered better form than honesty, any time, anywhere. SparkPeople just lost LOTS of my confidence and recommendations today. for posting this writer's unethical approaches. Very discouraging. I am a responsible adult, and simply say "No thanks" to the lies - and to extra helpings.! - Maryjean
The hardest thing is pulling this off without making the other party feel guilty or self-conscious. I've been following a vegan diet for 4+ years and a vegetarian diet for 8+ years, so I've had plenty of experience with people pushing food I won't eat on me, asking/pressuring me to explain why, etc -- with something like vegetarianism that I do for ethical, health, and environmental reasons, it's so hard to handle with tact.
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