Once again, I am dismayed by the food bigotry of SparkPeople. Turning down the extra helping of potatoes or the famous apple pie? So, SparkPeople, you're saying it's okay to make the 3rd trip to the buffet for turkey? Filling up "instead" on the butter-laden steamed veggies is okay? What tripe! I agree with a lot of the posters: honesty is the best policy. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this response: "Thank you so much but I can't have this anymore. I do remember it from before and it looks just as fabulous as ever!"
Most of your suggestions have merit, but the first few hold problems in as much as you might not be telling the truth. It will always come back to bite you. People usually respect you more if you are honest. If someone offers to send food home with you, you could take it, portion it and /or freeze it for another time. It is very good though, to think through a few responses before you go...so you don't cave in to pressure by being caught off guard.
4/25/2013 7:37:23 AM
I have to agree with others who say honesty is the best policy. You can still compliment the cook, "that looks wonderful" etc. but if you're honest about your goals and consistent eventually your family and friends will get it.
Many of these suggestions involve lying. People remember things you say and the next time they see you eating butter or whatever they will know. At that point the small bit of embarrassment you may have saved at the time is going to seem preferable to digging yourself out of a hole.
Your friends and family they are important people. if you value them, tell them the truth.
4/25/2013 2:03:12 AM
I just say - with a smile, "thanks, but I've already had more than enough." It works every time.
Sometimes I say, "I'll just take a bite," which is easy if I serve myself, but if someone else dishes me out a 'bite' and it's too big, I will eat the size bite I intended, and let them know it was delicious if it was and say "I'd like more, but I don't have the room." It isn't too hard to do when I remember it can be a boundary violation and I don't want to feed codependency.
Great suggestions! I find these suggestions very helpful, I find it very hard to just say no, because I know food comes from the heart. I feel pretty rejected when people wont eat my food, because it is my way of expressing friendship and love, besides a lot of work goes into preparing meals, especially when you are a perfectionist like me haha. Anyway I will try some of these tips next time.
I ask for a knife, and cut it in half, which brings it down to a reasonable portion. Sometimes people are offended that I don't eat it all, but that's their problem. Usually it's OK. If it's someone I know well, who's sympathetic to my eating principles, I eat a small portion and ask permission to take the rest home. Or sometimes all of it, if I've already eaten
I've learned that it takes an average of THREE "No, thank you"s before people quit pushing food on someone. I've actually watched what happens with other people, and three seems to be the magic number of times! Interesting to me! Once I realized this to be the way most people operate, it made it easier for me to stick to my NO. Sometimes I've tried simply saying NO three times in a row, and it works!
These suggestions don't work for me because the pusher has some comeback that I wasn't ready for and then I am stammering for what to say next which makes it worse. I agree you just have to nip it in the bud. I just keep repeating "no thank you", it's harder to argue with and easier to remember because I don't think quick on my feet.. If they outright ask why not (which they usually don't), I just say that my doctor says I can't have it. When it comes down to health-related issue such as diabetes or something, they tend to backoff and my "doctor" is the one on the hook, not me. It's also the truth. My doc is warning me that my health is at risk.
Not the best article(first one I read here on Spark People)..the truth is the best policy is what I say and I don't let nobody push stuff on me that I don't want to try especialy if I said a polite no!
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