The push where you're told you'll be forced to eat it would be a final straw for me - in fact, has been. I came back with a straight out "No, but thank you". Followed with something about "let's not fall out about this".
4/26/2013 11:24:35 AM
I just say no thank you and avoid saying something that isn't true.
I once had to do a very strict 10-day diet to get rid of migraines. Every week, we'd go to my Hungarian mother-in-law's home to eat her delicacies. This particular week, I made a batch of cabbage roll casserole, with ingredients that I was allowed to eat; including brown rice and ground turkey. Mother-in-law was invited to try some and she loved it! I was able to eat and not feel left out and it was good for relationships, too. :)
Now, I try to avoid pork, you could say for religious reasons, but specific details are a separate conversation on their own. My mom loves me but still tries to force feed me bacon or pork sausage every chance she can. She just doesn't seem to understand. I'll have a little if I must but try to find ways around it if I can. "More for the rest of you" or "I'll just have extra veggies, thanks". I'm not about being offensive - that does no one any good.
There are many days I hate being gluten intolerant. Around holidays, though, It's a great help in saying no. My reaction to eating anything with wheat, rye or barley is immediate. Those that love me, know and don't push. I don't worry about those who don't!
I think the point of this article is a good one--be mentally prepared before you go to a social function where others may offer you food. Thinking through some possible scenarios you may encounter and planning some wise and/or gracious responses is just plain smart. Thanks, Erin!
4/25/2013 4:01:02 PM
Lots of comments here--- some seem kind, some unkind. I believe that most food pushers are well intentioned. A response, "I really appreciate your kindness, but I must say no".... spoken firmly-- should suffice. Both labels, "food pusher" and "food snob" sound unflattering (and unkind) to me. You should never feel forced to accept food, appealing or not. Grandma's cornbread cooked in cups of bacon fat, does not appeal to me--- but I never want to hurt Grandma. Courtesy and kindness in your refusal can usually succeed... Food "pushed" is most often offered in gracious spirit, rather than otherwise. Chill out and be considerate please--
4/25/2013 1:52:29 PM
I hate lies, white or not. Just say no thanks. I'm sure we need a list of excuses and lies.
4/25/2013 12:59:26 PM
Totally agree with DORIANSMAMA. Couldn't have put it better myself! Honesty is always the best policy.
This seems like these suggestions would be perfect for a party of friends or co-workers, but things seem to get sticky with family. I have a very difficult time with my family because even the meals that they think are healthy are really unhealthy. Every family function they want to plan around food. I just make sure that I eat healthily beforehand and concentrate on the healthiest side dish they have. It's difficult for sure! For those posting negative comments, any suggestion anyone has can give you is more than you had before. The more knowledge and experience we get the better and she's just trying to help us on our journey!
Some of the responses here are a tad dramatic. This article has a host of responses because there are a variety of food pushers and situations. While for many, white lies will not work, are dishonest, etc. there are some people that will find that type of response useful. The same goes for the other *suggestions*. I agree that a lie (I have an allergy to x, I don't like y) may come back to haunt you, but if you realize that's the case choose a different response listed. Nothing is one size fits all. I'm assuming this article is a guide (like all the articles on SP). Everything must always be done while using discretion. Why do people get so passionately upset at some of these articles? Use discretion/ common-sense and apply advice to your life as you see fit...
Once again, I am dismayed by the food bigotry of SparkPeople. Turning down the extra helping of potatoes or the famous apple pie? So, SparkPeople, you're saying it's okay to make the 3rd trip to the buffet for turkey? Filling up "instead" on the butter-laden steamed veggies is okay? What tripe! I agree with a lot of the posters: honesty is the best policy. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this response: "Thank you so much but I can't have this anymore. I do remember it from before and it looks just as fabulous as ever!"
Most of your suggestions have merit, but the first few hold problems in as much as you might not be telling the truth. It will always come back to bite you. People usually respect you more if you are honest. If someone offers to send food home with you, you could take it, portion it and /or freeze it for another time. It is very good though, to think through a few responses before you go...so you don't cave in to pressure by being caught off guard.
4/25/2013 7:37:23 AM
I have to agree with others who say honesty is the best policy. You can still compliment the cook, "that looks wonderful" etc. but if you're honest about your goals and consistent eventually your family and friends will get it.
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