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How to Tell Others About Your Weight-Loss Goals

Get Support Where You Need it Most

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  • MAX10IE
    I am getting mixed comments from family and friends as to my wanting to loose weight. Fortunately I am not looking to loose a significant amount, but get back to the weight I want to be and my doctor said would be better for my height. Unfortunately friends that are over weight make comments as to wishing I was as small as you are now....I would die to be as slim as you!! Of course I am the one who sees the scale!! And not only I but also my endocrinologist agrees... I have diabetes and really have to watch what I eat, which can be a challenge. I am more conscious as to veggies and fresh foods which help. But, do need other people who are in this same position and can give some encouragement in that area... Anyone who can send encouraging words of wisdom would be helpful. Max10ie

    See if this is at all helpful.

    It was on mom's email.

    Dad.or that weight!!
  • ETHELMERZ
    I do better at weight loss without constantly talking about it to people. In fact, large amounts of congratulations for weight loss has always set me back. It is far easier to deal with it alone, so your spouse or friends won't hound you at every meal, commenting on your every food choice. That becomes nagging, and nagging helps No one!
  • I take issue with blaming other people for one's success or failures. Own your progress or lacking of progress. When one relies on the support of others for success, when the support stops so does the success.
  • I'm married to my saboteur, and it's been a long hard struggle to face it that he is not going to change. I can only change me, and the way I react to the negative noise around me. I've lost 70 pounds, and I am a changed person - I like me better because I think I'm a better person for not trying to change other people. 8-)
  • This is a great article! Just what I needed.

    Family and friends may mean well, but sometimes their kindly meant words hurt more than if they's said nothing at all.
  • I LOVE this article. Thank you for posting it...thank you, thank you, thank you!!! When I told my mom I was trying to lose weight, every time I call her she asks "Well how much have you lost?" If I tell her I haven't lost any this week, she asks me "Why not? You must not be trying." That type of support I DON'T need!!! Same way with my husband, BUT, with him I just tell him "I didn't gain all this weight overnight and I sure can't lose it overnight after all Rome wasn't built in a day." Usually that shuts him up for awhile.

    Now that I have something to go by to guide me in telling them, instead of getting frustrated, maybe I can make them understand. Thanks again for this post.
  • I have been at or near goal for over 6 years, but my family will still make comments about where we eat out such as..."Can't go there, there's nothing Mom would eat." While I do really appreciate the acknowledgement of my changed habits, I can almost always find something either on or off the menu that will satisfy me. I wish I could say this in a way to derail comments in the future.
  • I have been at or near goal for over 6 years, but my family will still make comments about where we eat out such as..."Can't go there, there's nothing Mom would eat." While I do really appreciate the acknowledgement of my changed habits, I can almost always find something either on or off the menu that will satisfy me. I wish I could say this in a way to derail comments in the future.
  • I guess I've been very fortunate in the fact that I have many friends and family members who I feel very comfortable talking with regarding my weight loss. Some of them also want to lose weight and I've been able to encourage them through sharing my goals. Some of them do not want to lose weight but cheer me on in my efforts. And all have been very supportive and encouraging, and quick to tell me when they see the results of my efforts, making me feel very good about the struggle, and motivating me to continue trying!
  • This will be a helpful key to my success!
  • My partner, who is very supportive, often asks me how he can help, what he should say, etc. I have saved this article to share with him later when I'm at home. This will also be helpful in dealing with my family (who live in a neighboring state) as they just don't "get" it (even though they should as most of them are also overweight or obese), and my friends who have never had weight issues, as they don't have any idea what kind of struggle, commitment, and huge life change this is. Thanks for the tips!
  • My husband has a weird sense of humor and would always taunt me about my weight, lack of working out and so forth. This really discouraged me from trying to do my best for me - I felt it was for no use.
    Well this time I changed things around and made gradual adjustments in our eating, how I prepare things and where we go when we go out, but I never said I was on a diet. He liked the changes and appreciated the healthier version of food, too.
    After I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago, I told him that I had lost 9 pounds over the past month and he was actually excited! He got behind me and is following the same nutrition plan (other than larger servings).
    I appreciate the support and no joking, and I give him sincere thanks when he notices something different - like my pants falling off or sagging all over. Family support is crucial!
  • JAY75REY
    This article is food for thought. Like other commentators, I've seen a mixed bag when sharing goals and asking for support from those closest to me. I recently shared with my boss, who is also doing a diet (though hers is a little extreme IMHO). We both agreed to empty our candy jars on the desk and take away that temptation. That was cool.
    DH hasn' t always been supportive because he doesn't come on board and wants to eat out constantly. Also he gets negative and hopeless about his own weight problems so he sends these vibes toward me. BUT at the moment he and I are working on it together and I think we'll have success. I'm seeing signs of motivation in him.
    I rarely tell anyone about my diabetes because I hate being lectured and monitored by others: "you're eating that! that's so bad" etc.
  • I admire the desire to want to include others but this seems like a "perfect world" scenario to me. I would LOVE to have been able to tell people when we started but I seriously couldn't handle the eyes rolls or body language of "oh...you mean AGAIN!?" The best way to prove your commitment is to just do it and let people say something to you and come to SP or similar sites so you can get support from like minded people because a lot of times your declaration of a healthier lifestyle can make many people resentful. It shines a spotlight on their unhealthy habits whether you mean it to or not and if they're not ready to change or think things will change, a big time attitude can emerge. Been there and done that. :-(
  • Sometimes our "loved ones" are toxic people, frequently making critical or demeaning comments. In that case, why give them more ammunition by declaring our health/weight loss goals? The support of people who really care about your well-being is wonderful. Having people tell you it won't work or you won't follow through is non-productive. Been there, not going back.

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