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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/19/07 5:38 P
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| Your message brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how alone and confused you must have felt. But it sounds as though you eventually were able to come to terms with it, because you seem to have a very loving heart. My daughter returned to school today, and her attitude seems a little lighter than the past days. We are working it minute by minute, but like you said, I think she is seeing that she has the complete support from me, and is comforted by that. I really appreciate all the kind words, encouragment and advice from all of you. Thank you so much!
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I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for what you and your daughter are going through rigth now. I am so glad you are there for your daughter though. I too lost my father when I was a little girl. I was 9 years old when my father passed away from lung cancer. My bio-mother took off and abandoned me. I ended up growing up in a foster home, but I always felt that the day my father died my world, as I knew it was torn apart, never to be as I knew it again. Your just being there for your daughter is going to make a world of difference for her I'm sure. As long as she knows you love and support her that will help to ease the pain for her. You sound like a great and caring mother and she is lucky to have you. Just give her lots of hugs, kisses, time, and a good shoulder to cry on. She will never forget it.
Good Luck to you both.
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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/19/07 6:39 A
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| Thank you Trans4mation. And no, your reply is in no way inadequate. Let me also say that I am sorry for your loss also at such a young age...but you sound like a wonderful person, and that is heartwarming, because I know my daughter will go through some tough times, but she, like you, will feel all the love around her, and come through understanding that she's going to be okay. Have a great week!
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TRANS4MATION
3/18/07 10:15 A
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I am deeply sorry for you and your daughter's loss, BrightSerenity. It sounds like you're already doing a good job supporting your daughter.
My dad passed away when I was 12-a little older than your daughter is, but I imagine the feelings are the same. It felt like my whole world was ripped apart and that nothing would ever be the same again. My advice would be to give her the space and time she needs to grieve and just to be there for her whenever she needs to talk about it or cry on your shoulder. I know you're probably already doing that and it probably seems to you like there could/should be more that you can do for her, but simply just your loving presence and the knowledge that she still has her mom to turn to will help immensely. I was always a daddy's girl, but after he passed away my Mom and I became very close, so I felt I could lean on her and ask her questions about him. Eventually I could remember him without crying, though I still miss him every day. I feel like my reply here is sorely inadequate, but I'll be keeping you and your daughter in my prayers.
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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/18/07 7:02 A
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Thank you Nahnah. You know, it's comments like that that make a person lift up their heads and move forward another step. it's so easy to know how to handle everyday things in your childrens life..fights with their friends, gum in their hair, organizing their schedules...etc. But when it's something big, such as death, we kind of stumble and stutter through each action, hoping we're doing the right thing. Thanks for your support
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| It sounds to me as though you are doing a brilliant job of supporting your daughter.
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PERIDOTLILY
3/16/07 8:45 P
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Becky,
I'm so sorry! I would check into grief support groups for kids in your area. Good luck to you and your family!
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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/16/07 11:38 A
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Becky,
Thanks for that wonderful idea. I think my daughter will absolutely love doing something like that in her Daddy's memory. She has been talking about things a lot, and is openly grieving, so I will follow her lead and let her know that I am there for her, and later on, when she's feeling better, suggest the tree. Again, thanks ;-)
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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/16/07 11:35 A
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| I will do that right away, thank you. I have kept her home from school today, obviously, but am hoping that she will be ready to return on Monday. If that is the case, I would feel so much better knowing that the staff knows of the situation and will keep an eye on her. Thanks so much.
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I am SO Sorry you are going through this right now. I couldn't even imagine.
I am sure it's going to take some time. But I remember a touching thing that was on Supernanny a bit ago, with a family who lost their dad and was still having issues missing him. Jo had purchased a tree for his memory and they all helped plant it in the front yard. They may have even put a plaque or carved stone by the tree as well. And they could always go to the tree and talk to their dad if they liked to help them greive. You may want to think about this in the next month or so (may need to wait till a bit warmer)
BUT Talk to her, let her talk to you about how she is feeling, let her get it out. If necessary you could look at a pediatric Phycistrist who is trained in this.
Sorry for your loss,
Beckie
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I am very sorry that you and your daughter are coping with this right now. I wish I had all the answers for both of you to make things "right" again. If you haven't done so already, I would make sure to let her school know. I'm sure that they have a guidance counselor on staff for her to speak to if needed. Her teachers can sort of keep an eye on her too if they notice any changes in her daily behavior/routines. Take it one day at a time and keep the lines of communication open. Let her know you are there for her if she ever wants to talk about it.
I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.
Kelly
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BRIGHTSERENITY
3/16/07 6:56 A
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| My daughters father was found yesterday. We are not sure what happened, but are thinking it was either a heart attack or seizure. He was only 51 years old. And She is only 7 years old. Way too young to loose her father. I had to tell her yesterday. I can't even explain her reaction...it was devestation to say the least. I have seen some wonderful advice on all sorts of issues in this forum, and have turned to you to get some of my own. My question is this....This is a complete life changing moment for my daughter. I explained the death as best as I could, in terms that a seven year old could understand. I made sure I mentioned many times that he loved her very much, and that he is up with God and the Angels, and Danielle and Smokey (our dogs who have passed). It seemed to give her some solice...but in the days to come...what is to be expected? Should I just follow her lead? I hate to draw on the bad fortune of others for information, but your experience and advice would be so gratefully welcome. I realize that there will be a lot of grieving for my daughter, and I feel so sad that she will go through life without her father. But she will soon realize that she is surrounded by so many people who love her, and that her daddy is okay. Thanks so much for your help in advance.
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