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LOVEROFANIMALS
3/6/07 8:31 A
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Good morning. I agree that no one can talk anyone into this...it has to get to the point where the individual has had enough and wants to change.
My husband was doing SP with me a year ago and was loving it, but has since stopped and pretty much gone back to his "old" ways. Although I try to get him to at least come for a walk with me (he still won't), I never really say anything. He is forced to eat what I make for dinners (and loves what I make), so at least he is eating better. I don't buy junk like I used to. I make more things fresh (i.e. baked goods) and still gently encourage him to get moving again....it does bother me when he just sits and watches TV all night and weekend. BUT, I try not to say much...just try to get the TV OFF and get him out a little bit.
We had a very rough 2006 in regard to some family issues and I think some of that caused him to go off. I think he will get back into it some day. He is very proud of me and what I've done...so all I can do is keep at it and be a good role model for him.
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DAVIDDOTSON
3/6/07 7:47 A
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| Just my opinion: I cannot make anyone do anything. I can make me do something. My experience is to be the most encouraging to others, quietly and patiently make sure you yourself are doing the best you can. Pretty much the lead by example idea. Above all, NEVER EVER EVER make even one negative comment regarding anothers progress, effort, current state or compare that person to others. Just think how that makes you feel when you are on the recieving end. I am even careful to not make too much comment on progress that is evident becasue that sometimes canbackfire. Slow and steady progress on my part seems to help my significant other the most.
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| Thanks for all your help guys. I really don't want to be nagging, I know how anoying that can be. These are some great ideas. Thanks.
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LITTLE-LUEY
3/5/07 4:11 P
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| Good sugestions so far. I will also add that you need to stay firm in your workout and diet discipline, or you will end up giving up. i had to tell my wife a few times that "I don't eat that anymore" for her to get the point. Now she is exercising and trying to watch what we eat. Your fiance will come around if he sees you are very dedicated to your life changes. You do not need to nag him but once in a while encourage him to join you for a walk or a bike ride just because you want to spend time with him.
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I'll have to kind of agree with Chavato to watch how you come across when telling him about his weight, exercise level, diet etc because you may shut him down rather than encourage him.
What you might want to try is just make little healthy changes around him. If you are cooking, make a healthy meal with veggies and light meats. If you're exercising and you see he has time, talk him into taking a walk with you. Don't approach it as exercise, approach it as fun. What busy person doesn't like fun? The more he sees that this is making him happy, as well as healthy, the more he'll want to do it.
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Like all major changes it is impossible to get others to change, they need to make that decision on their own. Any verbal encouragement may be perceived as nagging, so be careful. I think the most encouraging thing would be for you to complete your goals to show what is possible. Good luck.
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