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I allways thought i had a good relationship with my 15yr old girl......but today i find out she has been going to a boys house with a girlfriend and spending the night, when i thought she was at a "Birthday party" she is now grounded untill she is 40
If you dont set rules to start with at 12 beleve me trying on a 15 yr old is hell...( im thinking of putting her on ebay ) na only joking
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| I am so glad I have not started to deal with BOYS.
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| Like others have said PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! Tell her what the consquence are for doing it ever again and make sure she gets punished this time too. Whats her favorite thing to do or have? Take it away until she regains your trust. Belive me at this age there is no conversating nicely that she will ever care about. You have to give consequences. Thats it. I have a 12 year old boy. He could careless about conversating, but when I do this it get his ATTENTION!
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SPOILED_LIL_ME
3/15/07 3:36 P
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| I have a 12 yr old daughter, she is my oldest and man oh man, I am taking notes for when the next one is 12!!! My 12 yr old is not so emotional now, thankful she is getting used to puberty, however, she is rebellious, but responsible! I am having issues with the boy thing, she seems to always have a boyfriend, she never takes a break when she breaks up with one! She is like all yours though, doesnt want to do chores, but wants the spiffs...rewards. She is alittle better...I guess they are all the same....
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PERIDOTLILY
3/14/07 7:06 P
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| Find her favorite thing and make it yours. Then explain to her that she is one of your favorite things and how she feels right about now is how you would feel but 10 times worse if something happened to her! Don't give it back right away but hopefully your point will be made. I haven't had that issue yet, but it will soon come.
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| One of my problems with my 12 year old is she dosen't put things away or Do thing I ask her. She is a good kid and trys to please me, But I am tired of having to remind her all the time. sherre
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I went through this with my daughter, she was older though. She didn't seem to have any understanding or consideration for how worried we were.
Sometimes homelife seemed like a war zone, unpleasant for every one concerned.
Now my daughter is older we are better able to talk about this experience. For her it was not just the rebelling thing but she felt that she was not coping at college and felt under a great deal of pressure there and at home to succeed in this area. So she hung out with people and in places where she didn't get this kind of pressure.
Thinking back I wish I had been able to spend more girl time with her just enjoying the experience of being together.
Don't get me wrong, There is no way that your daughter's behaviour is acceptable and she needs to know why and suffer the consequences of her mistake.
You may already share fun activities with your daughter on a regular basis.
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| I have a 12 yr old daughter and let me tell you, she pushes her luck more times then i can count in a day. I have tried many things.... taking things away, grounding, lecturing, you name it. I am also at my whits end with her. She doesn't understand what could happen to her if she makes bad choices right now. Not sure what exactly to do about this.
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MPRINCESS2
3/12/07 12:14 P
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I agree... you need to put your foot down IMMEDIATELY. There must be consequences and boundaries. She needs to know exactly what happens when the boundaries are crossed beforehand and you need to follow through.
She needs a mom, not a friend. She'll thank you later!
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| I asked my 12 year old daughter what she would do. She wondered if this was a way to get your attention? She felt it would be better not to be in her face. It would make her less likly to listen and talk to you. Hope her opinion help. sherre
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| I HAVE A 14 YR OLD WHO IS REBELLING NOW. I CAUGHT HER IN A LIE AND FINALLY HAD TO PUT MY FOOT DOWN. I TOOK HER CELL PHONE, IPOD, COMPUTER PRIVILEGES, AND SHES GROUNDED FOR A MONTH. OF COURSE NOW I'M THE MEANEST MOM IN THE WORLD. I'M OK WITH THAT BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S SAFE, SHE KNOWS SHE HAS TO FACE CONSEQUENCES IN LIFE, AND IN HER HEART SHE KNOWS I LOVE HER.
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lol faylei...i really enjoyed readign your post...and YESSS...that was well-phrased: "parenting is NOT boring stuff" LOL
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| Sorry to hear about the trouble with your teen. I have a just turned 15 yr old and one who is 17..then there's my 6 yr old. My advice like others said is make your point now and set your boundaries. Don't let her overstep those boundaries or the consequences will be rough. Change the consequences if you need to. Each child is different and some will really go over the boundaries while others will just go to the line and laugh but not step over. My 15 yr old is my one who steps over it! She knows that even 1 minute late and she's in trouble...She knows to have her watch set with mine and better early but never late... Oh, she's been late several times and had to suffer the consequences... She also knows they change each time... It may be grounding... it may be worse.Grounding isn't so bad if you have tv, computer, phone ect.... but start taking those away and they begin to suffer. Oh, it's like punishing yourself because they will DRIVE YOU nuts but stick with it and it helps them remember. Now, with her, we did say if you call and need extra time we will try to abide if asked... like if she's at a friends house and is in the ending of a movie.. call and we might give you a few extra minutes... well, she's pushing this boundary too as she calls asking for more time constantly so might have to change this too.... thoughts are you can call and ask for extention once for week.... My oldest when she was younger about this age... pushed in a different area. WE don't allow anything in our house to do with witch craft or magic ect... She went to book store and spent 30ish $$ on a book that she knew we wouldn't approve of... we wouldn't even let her return it.. said it was her loss of money, and tossed it! Oh how mad she was over that but she didn't do it again. And before someone gets upset over this..no it wasn't a Harry Potter book, we allow those... just talked about it first. It was a book on white magic spells if I can remember correctly. Anyway, it was overstepping a boundary we set. Once you handle one situation... there will be another for you to learn from following soon after..... parenting is NOT BORING STUFF!!! Huggs to you:) Hang in there. They grow up so quickly and soon you'll be like me having one fixing to graduate in a few months and asking where did the time go!!!
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| 12 year olds are nothing but rebellious. Trying to talk to them is hard, too. Tell her why you are upset, how she made you feel and give her a HUGE consequence for doing it again. It might have been just a lost track of time thing, or she might be trying to tell you something. Mine is testing our boundaries too. Thankfully, she can't walk the streets here. It's only 19 degrees outside. LOL
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I think you need to put your foot down NOW!!
I was a teenage that ran the streets and I can tell you, I got into nothing but no good.
For her sake, you need to.
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MY 12 YEAR OLD CAME HOME AT 9:45 LAST NIGHT SHE WAS walking AROUND THE STREETS WITH TWO OTHER FRIENDS "DOING NOTHING" I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE HER WE WERE OUT LOOKING AND MAKING PHONE CALLS THE POLICE WERE CALLED I'M VERY UPSET OVER HER MAKING ME WORRY AND UPSETTING HER family LIKE THIS SHE THINKS ITS NO BIG DEAL SO SHE WAS JUST LATE AND LOST TRACK OF TIME I NEED SOME HEPL ON THIS ONE ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO GET THROW TO HER AND WHAT ELSE OTHER THAN THE PUNISHMENT SHE'LL BE FACING!!!
WE LIVE IN BOSTON AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS NOT VERY SAFE AFTER DARK FOR ANY ONE
THANKS WORRIED MOM
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