I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I had #1 at 26 years old. After child#2 hubby had the ol snip snip. It's a very personal decision for each family on how many children to have. It's more money more work and less of you to go around. If you really feel happy with just 1 then don't have 2.
You are really young and most likely have quite a few child bearing years left. I would recommend not doing anything permanent at this point and just waiting, because in 5 years you might change your mind. There are many options for birth control out there that will work great for the longer term.
I'm glad that it doesn't sound like anyone is pressuring you. It is great when the two kids play together, but they can drive you crazy on days where they just aren't getting along.
Give yourself some time and you will figure out what is right for your family. Oh and it is NEVER selfish to decide not to have another child. There are advantages that only children have over kids with siblings.
LEFTTOLOSE 2/18/07 6:48 P
I have a 13 year old and a 4 year old. I had my four year old when I was 35. I'm very, very happy we had him.
Ultimately, it's up to you. If your dh feels strongly that he wants another child, then he can talk to you about it and you both can come to a conclusion together.
CRICKETRO 2/17/07 5:09 A
both me and DH are 26. we've been living together for 4+ yrs but only got married last Nov. we don't have any kids nor plan for any soon. there is just no way i give up our live , careers and schools for a child . maybe over 30 we'll change or minds but for me...it's just the 2 of us and LOVE IT. been on the pill since we met (both were virgins) and i plan on staying on the pill :) LOL
and ps: we agree on the kid issue
advice: well..i'll probably get rocks via my post but..DO WHAT YOU WANT. it's ur life and ur body. tell ur DH u really don't want more kids and that's ur decision and he should respect it. if u think u'll change ur mind...just go on the pill, u can always go off it :)
KELLY_SP 2/15/07 8:28 A
Hi Dani,
I wish there was some magic answer to give to you right now. The truth is, only you have the answer to that question. Listen to your heart and I agree that with you being 25, you may feel/think differently in a few years from now (or you may not...but you probably won't have any regrets either way by simply waiting on making any permanent choices). Your boyfriend may feel differently too a few years from now. I wish you and your family the best of luck in your final choice. Trust yourself. You will know what is best for you and your family!
Be well, Kelly
MEGMEGRYRY 2/15/07 1:45 A
Im 27 and my husband had a vasectomy at 23 and I am regretting it (I almost died from the pill). Talk to your partner and give it time and thought. I wish I had another child before I was 25. Just think long and hard.No matter your kids ages there will always be things to do, things to clean, and so on. Daipers suck and so does the lack of sleep but right now I would take it. Give it lots of thought and follow your heart and dont do anything permant.
MAXWELLTURK 2/14/07 3:31 P
If you know deep in your heart that you do not want to have another baby, then don't. The worst thing you could do for you, your child and your partner, is to put a negative factor into your life,... if that is really how you feel about it.
I have a 3yr old and a 9mth old and my wheels have been spinning about having another. My hubby is good with 2 - he thinks sociaty was made for a family of 4... and he's a bit selfish - he likes his toys and vacations and time (he works a ton and does not watch our kids hardly ever) - so a third would be a big strain on me as well since I go it alone most of the time... but I love my babies more than anything in the world.
I am a third child -My mom told me to stop at 2 and enjoy myself- If I could pick anything in the world to do... it would be to have my babies and spend time with them - so for as much of a stress that it is- I would never trade it. And... my mom knows that she had her best child the third time around :)
Body Issues - gaining the weight sucks! Loosing it is hard. It was easier for me the second time, but my body is nowhere near the same "shape". I try to accept it, but it is hard and thoughts of plastic surgery sometimes seem appealing :) But my husband tries his best and tells me he loves my body and all that it has gone through for our babies.
So- I may not be much help but maybe some of this might help you. In the end, you really need to sit down and talk to eachother and figure out what is best for you all. Things always change, money, bodies, jobs, etc... but you always, always have your children.
NICCIJ101 2/14/07 2:35 P
One more thing, on the losing weight aspect. I have been trying to lose the last of my pregnancy weight for 6 months or so now. I look at it like this -- When I do get pregnant I will be at a "better than ideal" weight, therefore, making the pregnancy easier and the recovery easier. Plus, this is all about Lifestyle changes, and if you adapt the things you are learning, you will be back to size in no time after baby!
NICCIJ101 2/14/07 2:32 P
I have 2 children, 24 months and 10 months. We are planning on getting pregnant again in the next 6 months or so. Here is my advice...remember the joys of holding your baby for the first time, giving him his first bath, hearing him say mama for the first time, etc...Now remember the sleep deprivation and dirty diapers...In 20 years, which do you think you will remember more? It may be more work right now, but down the road not so much. I don't know anyone who would say the regret having more children because of the extra diapers or exhausting days of caring for an infant.
It has actually made it easier for me, having a 2nd child because my 2 year old now has a buddy to play with. The first month was an adjustment, but after that it seems like you have been doing it forever.
So, honestly, if you have always wanted 3 children, I would go for it. It may be tough, but you'll get through it, and in the end, you won't regret it. Then, when you are old and gray, you'll have 2 or 3 or more loving children to spend the rest of your life with! What could be better than that?
Hope this helps!
JENSJEN 2/14/07 2:27 P
I don't know you and your husband at all, so this is really hard. Really, I think this decision is between you and your husband, and you need to make that decision with the two of you. (Chris should understand what it really means for you to have another child, and you should seek to understand him also.)
All that said, I am in a totally different place. I am 28 years old, and we have been trying to get pregnant for three years.
Talk with Chris, and stay open to what he is thinking and feeling. Stay open to the possibility that in a few months (or years) you may want to change your mind. It's ok to be a little selfish right now, but stay open to different possibilities in the future.
I have 3 brothers and 1 sister, and I wouldn't have traded them for anything. I am glad that my mom didn't stop after just me. I would have been so BORED growing up!
There's all my thoughts and feelings - Good luck! Jen
DANI182 2/14/07 1:06 P
I did not know where to post this so I thought this would be the best place.
Ok here is the thing. I have really been thinking a lot about having another child. I have always said that I wanted 3 children, but now I am not so sure. I am very happy right now with Ashton. I no longer have to change diapers, I dont have to wake up every 2 hours to feed a baby. I get to sleep in sometimes. I really dont want to have to deal with another baby. I would be very happy with just Ashton. I told Chris this and he says that it is ok for now...and I keep telling him that it is gonna have to be ok forever because I really dont see me changing my mind on this. I dont know if I am being selfish on this or not but thats just how I feel. I talked to my friend's Cheyanne and Kim. Chey has a little girl of her own and she said she does not want anymore either so she said I was not being selfish. I know that Chris wants a child but I dont, and its my body that this baby will be in and I know that I will be the one taking care of the baby. Chris freaks out if he has to deal with Ashton alone for long periods of times so I know he could not handle taking care of a baby. I have talked to my mom about this and she says that its up to me and she understands where I am coming from. Another reason I dont want another is because by the time Chris and I get married and settled down and have enough money to have another baby I would be 27 or 28 and I dont want to have a child at that age. The worst thing is I am doing all this work to lose weight and I really dont want to gain a bunch of weight again because of a baby. Guh I am just going in circles. What are yall's honest thoughts? Please tell me!!
